Happy Pulaski Day to all of my Polish brothers and sisters!  Here are the links for this special day in Chicago:

1) Pulaski Day Defenders Decide It’s Time to Party – Speaking of this special day for Poles across America, way too many people aren’t educated on the importance of our Polish-American hero.

2) Ringling Circus Accused of Spying on PETA – If the circus were running the CIA, we would have found Osama Bin Laden by now.

3) School Busts Teacher for Bush-Bashing – To all of my teacher readers out there: be really careful in the classroom, even if it doesn’t seem fair.

4) So, How Many Knicks Does it Take to Screw in a Lightbulb? – Isiah Thomas and the Knicks have proved to be better comic fodder than even a Dick Cheney hunting trip.

And finally…

5) Three 6 Mafia Win First Oscar – The best moments of last night’s telecast of the Academy Awards stemmed from “It’s Hard Out Here For a Pimp” winning Best Song.  By the way, Jon Stewart did a so-so job hosting the Oscars (it’s a tough gig – David Letterman bombed as host while the response to Chris Rock was tepid and I consider those guys comic geniuses).  There’s one person out there who would be the perfect Oscar host: Robin Williams.  He’s biting and adventurous enough that the TV audience will be thoroughly entertained while he also has the respect of the Academy as one of their own.  If Williams hasn’t been asked yet, it needs to happen.

Have a great Pulaski Day!

Links for your Thursday:

1) The Jumpman in Us All – The new Air Jordan XXI commercial from Nike seriously freezes me in my tracks everytime I see it on TV.  When I was younger, I was just like every one of those kids imitating Michael Jordan’s signature moves on the playground.  Here’s how Nike filmed the ad.

2) Brokeback Spoofs: Tough Guys Unmasked – It looks like that “The Empire Brokeback” send-up I linked to the other day was just one of a multitude of Brokeback Mountain parodies.

3) Chappelle Said Unhappy With Network Plans – Dave Chappelle and Comedy Central are having a spat over what the network wants to do with the material he recorded for the never-aired thrid season of Chappelle’s Show.  By the way, be sure to catch his 2-hour appearance on Inside the Actor’s Studio if you haven’t already – it’s good stuff.

4) Honor This: Allen Yes, Balbo No – The latest political controversy in Chicago: an alderman wants to eliminate the city’s practice of granting honorary street signs (i.e. Jack Brickhouse Way and Hugh Hefner Way) in the wake of the proposed honoring of former Black Panther leader Fred Hampton.  Eric Zorn takes this one step further with pointing out that the city has a real street named after a fascist who was once suspected of murder.  Hooray Chicago!

And finally in one of the greatest developments ever…

5) Snoop Dogg Unveils New Video Gaming League for Hip Hop Stars – If ESPN can make “Madden Nation” into a show, there is absolutely no reason why this league should not have its own entire network.  For the official league site, click here.

Super Tuesday and Fat Tuesday links to prep you for tonight’s Illinois-Minnesota game:

1) Hoosier Heaven Could Save Isiah – Please let this happen.  If Isiah manages to ruin both the New York Knicks and the Indiana Hoosiers in the same year, I’ll forgive him (mostly) for being such a bastard when he was with the Pistons.

2) The Big Man Still Reigns in Hollywood – Don’t let the hype over the triumph of “independent films” at the Oscars fool you.  With the exception of “Crash,” every best picture nominee was backed by a major film studio.

3) Supreme Court to Hear Ex-Playmate’s Case – Technical legal questions regarding jurisdiction generally don’t make for exciting Supreme Court cases… unless Anna Nicole Smith and $1.6 billion are involved.

4) Free Pancakes for Breakfast (And Lunch!) – If you’re reading this before 2 pm on Fat Tuesday, there’s still time for you to run to IHOP as fast as possible.

And finally…

5) Thomas Now a Pariah – Just Like Sosa – Solid connection made here by Mike Downey about how Chicago has absolutely no more love for the all-time homerun leaders of its two baseball franchises.

Enjoy your Tuesday and go Illini!

For anyone that needs to read something other than my rants, I’ve put up some book recommendations under “Books to Read” in the links section on the right-hand side of the page.  On to the links for Monday:

1) Smithsonian’s Permanent Hip-Hop Exhibit – 50 Cent’s piece is going to be displayed right alongside the original Star Spangled Banner and Jackie Kennedy’s inaugural gown.

2) Google “Asshole“ (video and sound) – To find out what Google thinks of our leaders in Washington, Google “asshole” and then press “I’m Feeling Lucky.”

3) Ask Bouncing Butler in Ambitious Makeover – Jeeves is headed to the unemployment line.

4) ‘He’s an Idiot’ – Did people actually accuse the White Sox of being a “boring” team last year?

And finally…

5) Siberian Baseball – Minnesota Red Sox has spun off his baseball posts into a separate blog.

A Minneapolis Red Sox post on the incomprehensible scoring system of figure skating the other day foreshadowed Sasha Cohen winning an Olympic silver medal despite falling twice yesterday.  That’s whack.  Anyway, here are some links to prep for the weekend:

1) Autistic Teen’s Hoop Dreams Come True – An autistic team manager gets to suit up for the final minutes of the last high school basketball game of the season in a blowout – sounds like another Rudy-type story, right?  The twist here is that he ended up dropping six 3-pointers and 20 points in three minutes of play!  There’s video here, too – this is what sports is all about.

2) Izzone Punk’d into Spelling Out “Go Blue” – I can’t stand Michigan, but I’ll give credit to a couple of their fans for making a valiant effort at a prank on their rival’s fans (even if it didn’t work out perfectly).  The Big Ten Wonk post links to even more successful feats in the past by students from Yale, MIT, and Caltech.

3) Cracker’s Old Label’s ‘Greatest Hits’ CD vs. One of its Own – Virgin decided to release a collection of Cracker’s greatest hits against the band’s wishes.  Check out what Cracker did to get back at their old record label.

4) No Joke! Blagojevich Took ‘Daily Show’ Seriously – Chicago doesn’t just produce the most corrupt politicians; it also breeds the stupidest.

And finally…

5) Banding Together for the Whole Ride – As inconsistent as this season has been, Dee Brown and James Augustine have presided over arguably the greatest stretch in the history of University of Illinois basketball.  Emotions are going to be sky-high for their last home game in Champaign tomorrow night.

Have a great weekend and go Illini!

Links for your Hump Day:

1) Kid Rock Sues to Stop Sale of Sex Video – Is it really the best career move to try to stop this?  Didn’t he learn anything when he was with Pamela Anderson?  Take note that Scott Stapp doesn’t seem to care (the irony of Creed being such a religious band is killing me right now). 

2) Five Changes Needed to Improve Match Play – Some suggestions for one of the most underrated events in sports, the Accenture Match Play Championship, which starts today.  The thought of having stroke play for the first couple days is a solid idea in terms of having a more compelling field left for the weekend, but it would take away from the one-and-done nature of the event that makes it entertaining in the first place.  By the way, the PGA Championship would serve itself well if it turned itself into a match play tournament.

3) Catching Up With… Vanilla Ice (from the Sports Guy’s Daily Links) – Word to your mother.

4) Zoo Letting Chimps Put Hammer Down – Lincoln Park Zoo officials must have been throwing back a few while watching “2001” the other day.

And speaking of monkeys…

5) CareerBuilder Monk-e-Mail (submitted by Minneapolis Red Sox) – You can build your own monkey co-worker with sound!!!  The rest of my day is now shot.

Links in preparation for tonight’s Illinois game against Muck Fichigan:

1) NBA Trade Machine – Amazing simulator where you can see if any hypothetical trade could legally work when taking into account the NBA salary cap for teams, specific contract provisions for individual players, and other league rules.  My conclusion: it’s hard enough just to get any trade through that would meet all of the league rules, much less taking into account the quality of the players involved.  It’s the polar opposite of baseball’s laissez-faire trade arena.  Anyway, I’ve been trying to find a way to trade Tim Thomas from the Bulls for a different big man (more on him in a separate post).  Let me know if you can find a feasible deal.

2) Explaining Ice: The Answers Are Slippery – It seems so basic, but scientists are still trying to figure out why ice is slippery.

3) All He’s Quacked Up to Be – In depth look at the AFLAC duck.

4) Risk of Robbery Raising Stakes of Poker Nights – Nothing is sacred anymore.

And finally… 

5) Welcome to the Black Super Bowl – Absolutely hilarious column by the Sports Guy on his experience with celebrities and ballers at the NBA All Star Weekend in Houston – great read regardless of whether you care about the NBA and the Michael Jordan story at the end is the kicker.

Links for President’s Day:

1) Bonds: I’m Done After ’06, Unless I’m Not – Could you please go away, already?

2) Davis: Angry, or Just Focused? – Only a guy from the South Side of Chicago would have a chip on his shoulder and be in a foul mood with Melissa Stark right after winning a gold medal.  I know how it feels: I have White Sox Fan Disease, too.

3) It’s Luck of Route with Tolls – An analysis of how much each of the tollroads in the Chicagoland area cost drivers on a per-mile basis.  A hint on what’s the most expensive tollway: I’ve really been screwed by having to drive from Naperville to the Woodfield area around Schaumburg for each of the last 3 weekends.

4) Brown Line Closings Begin Today – One benefit of being back in the suburbs: I don’t have to take the Brown Line anymore because it’s going to suck for the next three years.

5) A First-Time Oscar Host in Search of That Fine Line – I’m looking forward to Jon Stewart being this year’s Oscar host, but I’m also a little worried that it sounds like he wants to turn it down a notch from Chris Rock’s performance last year.

And finally…

6) Trump to Stewart: ‘Take Responsibility’ – Awww, snap!!!  Looks like there’s a major beef between the Donald and Martha.

Some links before the weekend:

1) Oz vs. Them: Guillen Takes Swings – I’ll admit it right now: I have a man-crush on Ozzie Guillen.

2) Chicago Merc to Trade Snow Futures and Options – Wagering on whether it’s going to snow isn’t a drunken bar bet anymore, particularly if you run a hedge fund.

3) Cheney Hunting Accident Report – Heh…

4) The Empire Brokeback (movie and sound; submitted by Minneapolis Red Sox) – Easy connection to make, yet still amusing.

5) Suspended Daily Illini Editor Tells His Side in Cartoon Flap – Eric Zorn received an email from suspended Daily Illini editor Acton Groton.  There have been numerous posts and comments on the whole fiasco on Zorn’s blog this past week. 

And finally…

6) Stanford Tree Mascot Fired for Drinking at Basketball Game (submitted by Minneapolis Red Sox) – If you haven’t come home from a night of drinking and then played EA Sports NCAA March Madness on your PS2 using Stanford (preferably against Syracuse) in Mascot Game mode, you haven’t lived.

Some random and overdue links for Monday:

1) The Grammys Just Don’t Get It – This comment is coming a little late, but I’ve got to get this off my chest.  Greg Kot of the Chicago Tribune wrote this article over a week ago, which is now even more appropriate considering that my compadre from the South Side of Chicago Kanye West was robbed by the Grammys for second year in a row.  Look, I love U2 as much as anyone, but the Grammys already have separate lifetime achievement awards where they don’t need to turn the major annual awards such as Album of the Year and Record of the Year into nostalgic lovefests.  If you really listened to a decent range of last year’s music at all, you ought to be outraged that Kanye West’s “Late Registration” didn’t win Album of the Year.  The little respect I had for the Grammys before last Wednesday’s show is now completely wiped out.

2) Kwan Withdraws from the Olympics – It feels like Michelle Kwan has been around forever, and in ice skating terms she has, but I always have to kick myself everytime I realize that she’s still only 25-years old.  I’m three years older than her and what do I have to show for all that time on Earth?  I guess I can take solace in the fact that I have as many Olympic gold medals as she does (alright, that was a cheap shot – I have to admit that it really is sad that she got hurt).

3) What Would Tyler Durden Do? (submitted by Golas) – If you’re into slapping the Hollywood elite back into place (I know I am), here’s an absolutely fantastic blog ripping on every celebrity imaginable Fight Club-style.

4) Cheney Shoots Fellow Hunter in Texas Accident – #1 lesson learned from this past weekend: don’t EVER, EVER, EVER go on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney and Bobby Knight.

And finally…

5) Rich’s Blog – My buddy Rich’s newly launched blog – be sure to check it out!