Quick hits today:

1) Emily’s Reasons for a Cancelled Show – After running just short of a billion promos for this show during Monday Night Football and the BCS bowl games, ABC proceeded to cancel “Emily’s Reasons Why Not?” roughly ten minutes before the first episode even concluded.  Unfortunately, it looks like the president of ABC still has a scary man-crush on (turn on your Keith Jackson voice here) John Stah-mos.

2) Supreme Court Rejects Blackberry Appeal – I literally just received a Blackberry from my employer last week – great timing.

3) Nas to Join Label Led by Former Rival Jay-Z – If Wal-Mart and Microsoft merged to form one intergalactic conglomerate, that company might be about half as powerful as this pairing in this thing called rap.

And finally…

4) Amy Fisher, Buttafuocos Plan TV Reunion – It’s about damn time.

For those of us who are still drowning in the sorrows of the Illini/Bears double whammy of losses, here are some links to take your mind elsewhere:

1) Cannes Seeks More Hip-Hop – It seems as though the world’s preeminent film festival is getting tired of all those French films.

2) Dogs Excel on Smell Test to Find Cancer – Incredible…

3) Loophole in Lobbying Bill Leaves Wiggle Room – Once again, our politicians talk a great game regarding campaign finance reform when a scandal hits (i.e. Republicans and Jack Abramoff right now, Democrats and Chinese business donations to the DNC during the Clinton era) but don’t really want the status quo to change in reality.

4) Muck Fichigan – At least the Illini beat Michigan on Saturday.  Meanwhile, here’s the byproduct of some entreprenurial Ohio State fans.

And finally…

5) Casino Coughs Up $25,000 for Shatner’s Kidney Stone – I thought the headline was crazy.  Then I found out how much Star Trek fans were willing to pay for this piece of Captain Kirk.

If you need to take your mind off the Bears loss like me, here are some links for the day:

1) Rating (and Finding) the Movie Raters – I guess I’m not the only person who believes that the MPAA ratings for films are completely inconsistent.  It also seems that the ratings board is shrouded in as much secrecy as Opus Dei.

2) Mo’ Marion Barry – Who’s more sad: the politicians we send to Washington D.C. or the people who are actually from the city that keep on voting this guy into office?

3) $1 Million Parking Space – I know people will do a lot of crazy things to grab a prime Loop parking space, but this is a little bit over the top.

4) The Smoking Gun’s 2005 Mug Shots of the Year (submitted by Matt) – From the famous to the ridiculous, take a moment to look at all of these because you can’t possibly waste time in a better fashion than this.

What’s with Sportscenter and its obsession with comparing merely good teams from today to the greatest teams in history?  First, it was the focus on the Colts’ quest for perfection, who ended up not having as good of a record as last year’s Steelers team.  Then, as I said before the BCS bowls were played, it was the premature exercise of matching up USC against the top college football teams from the past 50 years, who turned out to be only the second-best team from this season.  Now, in what I believe is the most egregious example, ESPN runs a comparison between this year’s Pistons and the 1995-96 Bulls every time Detroit plays a game.  The 72-10 Michael Jordan-led Bulls team against this year’s Pistons?  C’mon!  Anyway, enough with the rant and on to the links:

1) “Bueller, Bueller” DVD – How did I meet my wife?  It was when her college roommate invited me over to watch “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” so I can’t tell you how important this movie is in my life.  Aside from the personal connection, this is one of the top ten Chicago movies of all-time (I’ll have a post on that eventually).

2) My So-Called Career: Paul Shirley’s Basketball Journal – Even if you don’t follow basketball, former Bull Paul Shirley’s entries on his life as a hoops vagabond are insightful and hilarious.  His blog from last season as the last man off the bench for the Suns was so funny and honest that he was able to parlay it into a possible career as a writer.

3) Tom Green Collaboration – First it was Patrick Swayze that caught the bug; now it’s Tom Green.

4) Korn Sells a Stake in Itself – Can a band become a true investment vehicle?  If this is successful, we could see a paradigm-shift in music industry financial models.

5) Mexican Coke on the Black Market – I don’t have a link for this (and even if I did, you’d need a paid subscription to see the article), but the Wall Street Journal had a fascinating front page article today on the insistence of many Mexican immigrants living in the U.S. to buy Coca-Cola that was bottled in Mexico.  It turns out that Mexican Coke is slightly different than American Coke – in Mexico, they use cane sugar rather than high fructose corn syrup as the sweetener and the drink still comes in glass bottles instead of plastic bottles or aluminum cans.  The thing is, Coca-Cola doesn’t want people to buy Mexican Coke in the U.S. because of how it impacts the profitability of the company’s American unit and the exclusive territorial rights of local Coke bottlers.  As a result, Mexican Coke can only be obtained by most American stores through backroom deals.  It’s just ironic that a foreign version of the most identifiable American product in the world needs to be smuggled into the U.S.

My thoughts on the Cubs are coming tomorrow.  Until then, have a great day!

Amazingly, the Illini didn’t drop in this week’s coaches’ poll (#6) and are only one spot down in the AP poll (#7).  To celebrate, here are today’s links:

1) Starbucks Economics – If you thought that “Tall” is the smallest size you can get of a drink at Starbucks, you’re wrong.  You can order a “Short,” but it seems Starbucks doesn’t want to let that secret out.

2) Breakthrough for the Dow – It’s amazing to me that the Dow Jones Industrial Average breaking 11,000 is a rare business story that gets elevated to the front page of general news yet it means almost nothing to anyone who owns stock.  The vast majority of people who invest in the stock market have some type of fund that mimmicks the S&P 500 (compared to the miniscule number of investors that own securities tied to the Dow), but I’ve never heard a general newscaster report about record levels for that broader market index.  It doesn’t make sense.

3) Simpson and Lachey Selling House – Own a piece of MTV history.

4) The Camaro is Back – Mullets everywhere are rejoicing.

And finally…

5) Thieves Steal Truckload of Pimp Juice – One of my readers must have had a bumpin’ poker night at Nelly’s expense.

Some baseball talk (it’s about time) in a little bit…

An interesting mix for the links today:

1) Ghostface Killah Releasing Limited Edition Doll – It’s kind of like a Teddy Ruxpin doll that sings “Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing ta F–k Wit.”

2) Urban Colleges Learn to Be Good Neighbors – I mentioned before how my law school alma mater DePaul reaps the benefit of a great urban neighborhood.  Here’s how my sister’s alma mater, Penn, turned its formerly decrepit West Philadelphia (born and raised) location into a plus.

3) Mystery of Mozart’s Skull – Is this the skull of the man who is the definition of the word “genius?”

4) Sox and Penguin Pals Safe at Home – It figures that the ones behind Hinsdale’s recent crime wave (we residents of Naperville knew it was only a matter of time before all of the riff-raff of Hinsdale would come out) were disgruntled Cubs fans.  Note to Cubs fans: if you want the right to desecrate cute penguin statues that are going to be auctioned off to raise funds for the new Brookfield Zoo penguin habitat, you need to win a World Series first.  Shame on you.

I’ll have a post on last night’s Illinois – Michigan State game later today.  In the meantime, here are some links:

1) Those Weird College Ads – Superb review of the different college ads that have run during the halftimes of this year’s bowls.  Considering that the University of Illinois has one of the best advertising programs in the nation (it’s a top feeder school for ad giant Leo Burnett), I’ve consistently been disappointed with my alma mater’s ads.  The only time that I can remember Illinois having commercials that didn’t look like they were shot on a fraternity-owned camcorder was the year when we had a series of ads showing alums like Roger Ebert and Ang Lee sing the “Hail to the Orange.”  Those actually looked as though they were produced by an advertising professional.  Since then, however, they’ve been generally corny and I haven’t been impressed.

2) Cat Calls 911 to Help Owner – I need to train my cat to do this.

3) Lindsay Lohan Admits to Trying Drugs – Note to Lindsay: I think most people noticed a couple of things other than your arms have been “missing” since you lost weight.

4) Jon Stewart Hosting the Oscars – After the Academy got rejected by Chris Rock, Billy Crystal, Tom Arnold, and Ike Turner to host this year’s Oscars, they were bailed out by Stewart.  The Academy needs to make sure, however, that instead of having a time limit on winners’ speeches, there has to be a 2-minute cap on any segment involving Stephen Colbert.

And finally…

5) Patrick Swayze’s New Career – You might think this is an Onion article, but it’s not.  It’s real and it’s spectacular.

This links have been in the queue for a while, so check these out:

1) The Onion’s Top 10 Stories of 2005 – Number 9 is my favorite.

2) Governor Lynn Swann? – I think the former Steeler WR wanted to make sure that he bested Lisa Guerrero for the “Dirtiest Career After Being an ABC Sports Sideline Reporter” Award.

3) Mama Said Knock You Out – I’m just waiting to hear that the Philly fan Clinton Portis’ mama decked out on Sunday was actually Donovan McNabb’s mama.  That would be a Clio-worthy Chunky Soup commercial.

4) Parents passing on New Trier – Ever wonder why some people who buy $1 million 3-bedroom ranch houses in arguably the best public school district in the nation end up dropping loads of more dead Presidents to send their kids to private schools instead?  This is why John Hughes made a decade’s worth of teen angst movies on Chicago’s North Shore.

And last but certainly not least…

5) Chuck Norris Phenomenon – “Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse.  Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.”  Here’s a timely examination of the resurgent interest in the great Chuck Norris.  If you haven’t received the ubiquitous “Chuck Norris – The Facts” email, here it is.