South Side Story: Frank the Tank’s 2007 Major League Baseball Preview

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Kerry Wood is on the disabled list and Mark Prior is in Iowa on a rehab assignment, which means that the baseball season can finally begin.  Baseball is back with a game on Sunday night and then in full force around the country on Monday.  (Annual Rant: I’ll once again enter my annual plea to Bud Selig to move all Opening Day games to the first Sunday in April.  There’s no reason why Opening Day for most of baseball should be (a) the same day as the National Championship Game in college basketball and (b) on a weekday where those fans with jobs (i.e. anyone that isn’t a Cubs fan) aren’t able to partake in the festivities.  With the Final Four having a Saturday/Monday schedule, it would seem to me that Major League Baseball would benefit greatly from filling in the gap with a full slate of games on Sunday.  Logic doesn’t seem to work well with this commissioner, though. /Annual Rant)  The Chicago baseball world has seen a number of changes on both sides of town, with the White Sox upending their pitching staff and the Cubs dropping Benjamins like drunken frat boys in, well, Wrigleyville.  Let’s take a look at the City of Chi along with the rest of baseball.  (Note: For much more in-depth baseball coverage along with around-the-clock analysis of MLB’s decision to move Extra Innings exclusively to DirecTV – for the record, this is no skin off my back since I’m a DirecTV subscriber that lives in the home market of my favorite team – be sure to check out Siberian Baseball penned by the brilliant Minneapolis Red Sox.)

(1) Hesitant About the White Sox Moves – I’m not quite sure what to expect from the White Sox this season.  Kenny Williams decided to trade workhorse Freddy Garcia and supposed future ace Brandon McCarthy for a bunch of prospects.  While this might out well in the long-term, I’m concerned that the window for the Sox to contend in the upper echelon of the American League with its current lineup isn’t going to last much longer than this season.  The 3-4-5-6 punch of Jime Thome, Paul Konerko, Jermaine Dye, and Joe Crede (Ozzie Guillen has indicated that he might switch around the middle of the  order) is as strong as any in baseball, but it still remains to be seen whether we can really expect Dye to replicate his MVP-type numbers from last year.  We also see former Angel Darin Erstad dug up from the grave, who would have been a fine spot player off of the bench, yet instead is plugged in as our starter in centerfield as well as taking the #2 spot in the order.

Still, the hitting doesn’t concern nearly as much as locking down the fifth starter role, which was a curse for the Sox prior to 2005.  It looks like it’s going to be newcomer John Danks, who came over from the Rangers in the McCarthy trade.  Also, with Garcia gone, there is a ripple effect where Javier Vasquez and Jon Garland each move up a spot in the starting rotation, and with how Vasquez has been particularly shaky after the pretty much the fifth inning of every game, that’s not a prospect that warms my heart.  The bullpen should be in decent shape with Mike MacDougal in a setup role, but Bobby Jenks needs to get back to the form that he showed in the second half and postseason of 2005.

All of that being said, the White Sox are still a pretty good team overall.  If Danks is able to step in and at least eat innings in the fifth starter spot and Jenks is consistent enough at closer, I think the Sox will make it to the postseason.  In the rest of the American League Central Division, I believe that the Detroit Tigers are headed for a significant drop-off this season with another year tolled on you’ve got to know when to hold ’em Kenny Rogers and the ever-expanding waistline of Todd Jones.  However, the Cleveland Indians seriously scare me.  Assuming that they avoid further injuries to their starting rotation, I think they’ll recover from last season’s setback and be the biggest challenge once again.  I always seem to discount the Minnesota Twins every year and then they subsequently find some way to get to the playoffs again (where they are promptly tossed aside in the division series), but I don’t see it happening for them this year with Francisco Liriano’s injury and Brad Radke’s retirement setting the team’s pitching staff back.  Granted, Johan Santana is a pitching genius, yet just having an ace is not going to be enough.  Meanwhile, the Kansas City Royals are finally going to make their move to the Pacific Coast League this season.  So, all in all, I believe the AL Central in 2007 is going to end up looking like the AL Central in 2005.

(2) Lou and the Fonz – I’m extremely excited to see Ozzie Guillen go head-to-head with Lou Piniella when the Sox and Cubs meet up this summer.  If it wasn’t for the stoic presence of Lovie Smith, Chicago would be considered the center of combustible sports coaches with the presence of Ozzie, Lou, and Scott Skiles.  Piniella, however, can only do so much for the Cubs.  More interesting was the spending spree by the club highlighted by the signing of Alfonso Soriano to a two-decade contract worth just under a billion dollars.  Seriously, though, the top of the Cubs’ batting order will be a monster with Soriano, Derrek Lee, and Aramis Ramirez in the mix.  Whether any of their outfielders will be able to catch any routine fly balls, however, is an entirely different matter.  Plus, for all of the money that the Cubs have blown this offseason, their pitching staff still pretty much sucks save for Carlos Zambrano.  Jason Marquis and Ted Lilly?  Really?

The only saving grace for the North Siders is that it’s entirely conceivable that they can bash in enough runs to win in a severely depleted National League Central Division.  Last season’s World Series championship by the Cardinals was an exercise in a team getting hot at exactly the right moment for three weeks in October as opposed to having the apparatus in place to have multiple seasons of success.  When a team is lamenting the loss of Jeff Weaver, of all people, you know that the situation is fragile, particularly on the pitching front.  The Houston Astros still have Roy Oswalt and a solid bullpen, but without Andy Pettitte and presumably Roger Clemens (I hope that ESPN spares us the wall-to-wall coverage of his minor league tuneups in June this year), this is a shell of the club that made it to the World Series only two tears ago.  Chicago’s beer guzzling and sausage race loving neighbors to the north in Milwaukee are an intriguing team to me.  With Ben Sheets, Chris Capuano, and Jeff Suppan in the starting rotation along with Prince Fielder and my personal fantasy baseball favorite Bill Hall (35 HR/85 RBI last year for a player who qualifies at 2B, SS, 3B, and OF – I love that guy) , the Brewers might actually be the most balanced team in the division.  The Cincinnati Reds could surprise some people with Aaron Harang as the ace and Adam Dunn doing his best impression of a mid-90s Sammy Sosa by either blasting a home run or striking out swinging at balls in the dirt, with absolutely nothing in between.  (Steve Phillips actually used his meathead to pull up a fascinating stat this week: Dunn has had a grand total of 12 sacrifice flies in 5 full seasons, while the Twins’ Justin Morneau had 11 sac flies just last year)  Finally, the Pittsburgh Pirates will be joining the Royals in the Pacific Coast League.

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(3) Predictions – So, here are my predictions for the upcoming baseball season (I’d advise you to promptly throw these in the trash):

AL East: (1) Boston Red Sox (Dice-K is the real deal), (2) New York Yankees (finally too old and too slow), (3) Toronto Blue Jays (America Jr. comes up just short again), (4) Tampa Bay Devil Rays (healthy Scott Kazmir = out of the cellar), (5) Baltimore Orioles (just sad)

AL Central: (1) Chicago White Sox, (2) Cleveland Indians, (3) Minnesota Twins, (4) Detroit Tigers, (5) Kansas City Royals

AL West: (1) Oakland A’s (Moneyball wins the division and fails in the playoffs again), (2) Los Angeles Angels of an Orange County Town Not Too Far From Laguna Beach (see note on the Yankees above), (3) Texas Rangers (the Chicago Tribune needs to stop printing stories about Sammy Sosa – no one here cares anymore), (4) Seattle Mariners (if Felix Hernandez comes out of his funk, we might have to move Seattle to the top of this division)

NL East: (1) New York Mets (they continue to seem like paper tigers to me, but they’re the best of a subpar lot), (2) Philadelphia Phillies (Ryan Howard rules), (3) Atlanta Braves (John Smoltz is still kicking), (4) Florida Marlins (Joe Girardi won the NL Manager of the Year award and was promptly fired – you stay classy, Marlins organization), (5) Washington Nationals (just waiting for their new ballpark)

NL Central: (1) Milwaukee Brewers, (2) Cincinnati Reds, (3) Chicago Cubs, (4) St. Louis Cardinals, (5) Houston Astros, (6) Pittsburgh Pirates

NL West: (1) Los Angeles Dodgers (the final resting place for late-90s/early-00s members of the Red Sox organization), (2) San Francisco Giants (there’s absolutely no potential news story here regarding some type of home run record – really, there’s nothing to see here, Mr. Pedro Gomez), (3) San Diego Padres (Jake Peavy – your 2007 NL Cy Young Award winner), (4) Colorado Rockies (Todd Helton is still alive), (5) Arizona Diamondbacks (the return of Randy Johnson’s mullet to Phoenix, which is the world’s second greatest mullet after that guy in the UPS commercials that draws on the whiteboard)

AL Division Series: Chicago White Sox over Oakland A’s, Boston Red Sox over Cleveland Indians

NL Division Series: New York Mets over Milwaukee Brewers, Philadelphia Phillies over Los Angeles Dodgers

AL Championship Series: Boston Red Sox over Chicago White Sox

NL Championship Series: New York Mets over Philadelphia Phillies

World Series: Boston Red Sox over New York Mets

So, as much as I’d like to see the White Sox get back to the pinnacle of the baseball world, the Red Sox have got the best overall team going into the season.

(Images from Triumph BooksThe World of Grant)

Land-o-Links – 2/7/2007

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As I thaw off here in Chicago, here are some links:

(1) Where Does Disaster XLI Rank? (Chicago Tribune) – Steve Rosenbloom’s ranking of Chicago’s worst sports disasters. As I noted in the aftermath of this year’s Super Bowl, the only time that I ever felt worse after a sports event than the Bears’ performance on Sunday was the Illini basketball teams’ loss in the 2005 National Championship Game. I can understand Rosenbloom’s ranking of the 2003 NLCS above Super Bowl XLI from a broader Chicago sports fan perspective (even though I personally didn’t feel much distraught from that event as a diehard White Sox fan), but I’m not sure how anything could have been more disasterous than the Black Sox scandal during the 1919 World Series.

(2) Bears Offseason Preview I: The Quarterback (Da’ Bears Blog) – Believe me, I have a love-hate relationship with Rex Grossman as much as anyone. However, are we really at the point where David Carr is the answer? Yikes!

(3) Illinois Has Rivals Fuming About Its Recruiting Coup (New York Times) – Ron Zook is drawing attention across the nation with a top flight recruiting class coming to Champaign next season. Of course, a lot of it stems from what he could possibly be promising such highly-rated recruits. I’ll have many more thoughts on the Illini recruiting situations for football and basketball very soon.

(4) Tempo-Free Aerial: Point Per Possession vs. Opponent PPP (Big Ten Wonk) – A quick chart showing the relative strengths of Big Ten basketball teams during conference play so far.

(5) We Hear That’s Why MJ Did It, Too (Chicagoist) – John Paxson put down a David Stern-esque hammer on Tyrus Thomas for the rookie’s comments on only particpating in the Slam Dunk Contest for the money.

(6) Mars Scraps Snickers Ad After Complaints (Washington Post) – I like to fancy my site as an equal opportunity blog. That being said, am I supposed to feel bad that I thought that this ad was actually one of the few entertaining spots from Sunday?

(7) Sweet Home Sports – A new Chicago sports blog that features the talented authors of the Chi-Sox Blog and Fleece the Pig, Flog the Pony.

And finally…

(8) In the Eye of the Beholder (Wall Street Journal) – What happens when a survey of the American public reveals that the Bellagio is one of the top 25 favorite buildings and structures in the country? Architects go apeshit, of course.

(UPDATE: I couldn’t leave this article from the Chicago Sun-Times on the University of Illinois “Girls of Engineering” calendar off of the links today. Since I was a business major – meaning that I was able to partake in binge drinking with little consequence at Illinois while still under the guise of a “practical” academic program – I’ll just let my readers that attended or are attending the College of Engineering comment on this.)

(Image from Chicago Tribune)

Revenge of the Smurfs and Land-o-Links for 1/3/2007

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2007 has picked up right where 2006 left off with me going 0 for 3 so far with my BCS bowl picks. The Rose Bowl, which I thought would be the most interesting game with the involvement of Michigan and USC, ended up with only one memorable image while Wake Forest screwed me after looking good for 3 1/2 quarters in last night’s Orange Bowl. Still, I’ve got to hand it to Boise State for taking it straight to Oklahoma’s juggular in the Fiesta Bowl. For all of the attention paid to the hook-and-lateral and Statue of Liberty plays at the end of that game, what impressed me the most was that the Broncos beat up on the Sooners for the first 58 minutes without a hint of trickery – Boise State simply ran the ball with impunity and played great defense. I apologize for doubting the Smurfs (TK, to his credit, was a believer). On to today’s links:

(1) Illini Not Meeting Weber’s Standard (Chicago Tribune) – The Big Ten basketball season for Illinois gets underway tonight with a meeting in Ann Arbor against Muck Fichigan. Here’s to hoping that Rich McBride wakes up from his two-month long nap and Brian Randle finally gets healthy.

(2) Can 2007 be a Repeat of 2005? (Big Ten Wonk) – Speaking of the Big Ten conference season, John Gasaway has posted a generally upbeat assessment of the league. By the way, while toggling between the Bulls-Suns and Indiana-Ohio State games last night, there’s no clearer statement of Greg Oden’s mad baller skills than when he sinks 9 out of 10 free throws using his non-shooting left hand (since he has ligament damage on his right hand). I think it’s time for Ben Wallace to try shooting free throws left handed.

(3) This Ben Gordon Thing is Starting to Irk Me (Blog-a-Bull) – As we segue into a Bulls discussion, I was just mentioning to my wife last night something along the lines of what Blog-a-Bull is referring to here, where it’s perplexing that Ben Gordon puts up All-Star scoring numbers when he comes off of the bench (including a career-high 41 points last night against the Suns) yet goes into a funk everytime that he’s in the starting lineup. What is Scott Skiles supposed to do when Gordon has overwhelming numbers that would point to an obvious starting role but time and time again has underachieved in that position? On a side note, I will have the privilege of being able to witness Ben Wallace’s first game against his old Pistons squad at the United Center on Saturday night, so I’m ready for a resuscitation of the bad blood between Chicago and Detroit.

(4) Goodbye 2006! Hello 2007! (Fleece the Pig, Flog the Pony) – A rundown of the top moments in Chicago sports over the past year.

(5) Kenny Williams: A Beane or a Krause? – Part 1 (Chi-Sox Blog) – Great analysis by Jeeves on whether the White Sox GM is heading down the path of Jerry Krause (one of the most loathed figures in Chicago sports history whether it’s fair or not) or Billy Beane (ironic in the sense that Williams came off as being not-so-bright in “Moneyball”).

(6) Where Have You Gone, Thomas Edison? (Slate) – Just in case you aren’t able to waste enough time on blogs, YouTube, MySpace, and Wikipedia, the Google Patent Search should be able to take up the rest of the day.

(7) Lock the Library! Rowdy Students Are Taking Over (New York Times) – I’m telling you, when I worked in the Homewood Public Library in high school, it was always a non-stop party.

And finally…

(8) Playoff Bound, But Questions Remain (Windy City Gridiron) – Spending New Years Eve with the Bears should have made for a wonderful evening. Instead, all we have are questions about our quarterback situation with Sexy Rexy and whether Brett Favre is going to retire and whether Sunday was his last game and whether he wants to go out on a high note and when he’s going to make an announcement about next season and REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM.

(Image from broncosports.com)

Bears and Bulls Back That Ass Up and Land-o-Links for 12/18/2006

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The Bears survived and pulled out a game that should have never been close yesterday against the Tampa Bay Bucs.  However, there were a couple of consolations from the medicore performance aside from the obvious fact that the Bears have clinched home field advantage throughout the playoffs.  First, Sexy Rexy was back in form throwing for over 300 yards along with with 3 TD passes.  Second, and more importantly, no matter how weak the Bears might be with a decimated front line as a result of the losses of Tommie Harris and our honorary Cincinnati Bengal Tank Johnson (more on him later on), the NFC is so craptacular that we might back right into a Super Bowl berth.  There’s no shame in this, considering that 2006 has seen the St. Louis Cardinals getting hot at the right time and winning the World Series after barely making the postseason representing the truly awful National League and the Miami Heat clinching an NBA championship coming out of the miserable Eastern Conference.  By the way, have you looked at the NBA East standings lately, particularly the Atlantic Division, which might obliterate the 2005 NL West’s title as the worst division in sports history?  It’s as if the entire conference caught Isiah Thomas Disease (additional thoughts on him later, too).  As a result, “Back That Ass Up” is my motto for the Bears and Bulls this season.  Anyway, here are the links for the day:

(1) Chicago Has Cubs, Bears, Bulls, AND Blackhawks (ESPN.com) – Linda Cohn, for all intents and purposes, is a solid broadcaster.  However, in the course of pointing out that Chicagoans ought to be paying a little more attention to the success of the Hawks since team legend Denis Savard came on board as head coach, she herself should perform some due diligence after neglecting to mention that other professional sports team in Chicago – you know, the one that won the World Series last year.

(2) Guns, Drugs, Tank and a Death (Fleece the Pig, Flog the Pony) – As Frank the Tank, I had been thinking about getting a Tank Johnson Bears jersey for awhile, particularly since he spells out his name “Tank Johnson” in its entirety on the back.  At this point, though, I’m going to have an easier time finding a “Ron Mexico” Falcons jersey.

(3) We’ll Keep Looking Both Ways (Chicagoist) – The City of Chicago is going to attempt to advance the notion that pedestrians do, in fact, have rights.  I don’t think this is going to go over well.

(4) Knicks – Nuggets Brawl (YouTube) – Footage from the fight between the Knicks and Nuggets at Madison Square Garden on Saturday, including the ill-advised punch thrown by Carmelo Anthony.  I’m still in search of video from Isiah Thomas’ instant classic postgame press conference where he was complaining about how Denver kept its starters in at the end of the game when they had over a 20-point lead.  He’s right on the money: putting in your starters to play against the Knicks at anytime is just not a fair match.

(5) Turnovers Will Be Critical vs. Mizzou (Mark Tupper Weblog) – The Illini have got all of their starters back, but they’ll need to cut down on the turnovers in the Braggin’ Rights Game tomorrow evening.

And finally…

(6) The Great Leprechaun Hunt (Minneapolis Red Sox) – I don’t care how busy you are today.  You absolutely positively MUST watch this video.  You’ll thank Minneapolis Red Sox a million times for finding such a gem.

(Image from Scout.com

Frank the Tank’s Slant 1st Anniversary Extravaganza: The Top 15 Posts of the Year

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It’s difficult to believe, but the first two posts on Frank the Tank’s Slant were put up for posterity one year ago today. Since then, you’ve witnessed a steady stream of bloviations from me along with Land-o-Links (my device to comment on numerous items from around the web that don’t warrant full-fledged posts), classic music videos (with a heavy emphasis on old school hip-hop and monster arena rock), and maybe even a different take on the world of sports and news every once in awhile.

Despite becoming a fairly active blogger, I’m not one of those people that believes that blogs will completely turn the media landscape on its head. In my mind, there’s still an important role for “old media” such as newspapers and television to look at events and issues without the colored commentary that inherently accompanies blogs). However, I do think that blogs give the opportunity for yeomen such as myself to stake out places in this flattened world that were previously only the domain of an exclusive media elite while also finally providing exposure to some of the best writers anywhere, including those Slant readers out there that blog themselves.

So, in honor of the first anniversary of Frank the Tank’s Slant, here’s a look back at my 15 favorite posts from the past year, ranked in ascending order, that range from thoughts on the world of sports to political election strategies and television scheduling with some updated comments and observations:

(15) Football vs. Football: College or Pro? (August 16, 2006) – A point-by-point comparison of college football and the NFL, with me giving the college game a slight edge. Of course, I noted that this was a debate comparable to deciding “whether it was more shocking to find out that Liberace was gay versus Lance Bass – if there’s any answer at all, we’re definitely splitting hairs here.” At the same time, I have a zealous hatred of the current BCS system, which has been outlined on this blog a number of times.

(14) Demons Dog the Irish (January 9, 2006) – Regular readers can easily observe that I’m a devoted and frequent writer on the happenings at my undergraduate alma mater of the University of Illinois, but this post featured a rarer instance when I focused on the basketball program at my law school alma mater of DePaul in the wake of my attendance at its inaugural Big East game against rival Notre Dame.

(13) The Yellow Rose Bowl of Texas: My BCS Bowl Picks (December 26, 2005) – I absolutely nailed 3 out of the 4 games right down to a “Penn State will win but not cover” prediction while being comforted that no one that dates outside of his or her own family could have possibly bet money that West Virginia would have beaten Georgia straight-up in a virtual home game at the Georgia Dome. That initial success only a couple weeks after starting this blog emboldened me to make predictions on a regular basis in all of the major sports, which have turned out to be all completely wrong and boneheaded.

(12) Non-Stop TV Seasons Need to be Adopted Everywhere (April 24, 2006) – With ABC changing the scheduling of “Lost” this year, it seems as though the television networks are beginning to heed my calls to get out of its “sweeps feast vs. non-sweeps famine” cycle. They’re about a decade too late to stem the tide to alternative forms of entertainment, but it’s a start.

(11) No Need for an Apology from the Daily Illini (February 14, 2006), The Daily Illini Needs to Apologize for Something Else (February 15, 2006), More Thoughts From Minneapolis Red Sox and Frank the Tank on the Daily Illini (February 16, 2006) – A trilogy of posts on the controversy that surrounded the Daily Illini’s decision to print the Danish cartoons that were the impetus for deadly riots across the Muslim world. The “More Thoughts” post is one of my favorites as the product of a back-and-forth email discussion between my buddy Minneapolis Red Sox and me, particularly since it revealed some surprising views from the “Siberia, Minnesota” writer as a former newspaper reporter.

(10) Springtime for Kiper on Broadway (April 28, 2006) – My pre-NFL Draft thoughts that explained why I love the event so much and predicted the eventual decision of the Bears to trade out of the first round. The follow-up post after the draft had a scathing criticism of the Bears’ moves, but I have since admitted that I was completely wrong, particularly about special teams sage and my new man crush Devin Hester.

(9) Frank the Tank’s Great All-You-Can-Eat Buffets of Chicago (July 14, 2006) – All-you-can-eat is all-that-I-need.

(8) Big Ten from Eleven to Twelve? If There’s No Luck of the Irish, Bring in More Orange (March 5, 2006) – The types of posts that I enjoy writing the most are about wonky sports business and law subjects. At least from my perspective, while there are multitudes of people in the blogosphere that break down the games on the field on a daily basis (and do it very well), there’s a dearth of perspectives on the off-the-field matters, so I attempt to fill that gap from time-to-time. On the particular subject of big Ten expansion, I’m from the camp that the conference should only expand to 12 teams if it means that it’s maximizing its national footprint, which means the 2 real choices for the conference are either Notre Dame (unparalleled in terms of national exposure) or Syracuse (a strong East Coast counterpart for Penn State). As a result, I pass this post along everytime I hear suggestions for Pittsburgh (market already covered by Penn State), West Virginia (an even smaller market), or Missouri (besides the practical matter of whether it would worth it to secede from the Big 12, Illinois already covers the St. Louis market).

(7) The Bears Are Who They Thought They Were! (October 17, 2006) – This was written on only a couple of hours of sleep since I was completed wired after the Bears’ Monday Night comeback against the Cardinals. Regardless of my writing, the YouTube clip of the uncensored Dennis Green press conference is going to be the subject of mutiple NFL Films specials years from now.

(6) The Mason Midmajor Myth (April 6, 2006) – At the time that this post was written, my Billy Packer-esque sentiment was about as popular as, well, Billy Packer himself. However, I still believe that George Mason’s run to the Final Four was the peak of the midmajors as opposed to the start of any trend. We’ll see how this college basketball season will play out.

(5) The Lonely Libertarian: A View From a Disaffected Republican (November 10, 2006) – A rare post from me that was dedicated solely to politics (and I explained exactly why I haven’t written much about the political arena despite my deep interest in the subject). The output here was a bit long-winded yet long overdue as a result of a whole lot of pent-up frustration. Simply put, if the Republicans don’t pay attention to people such as myself, they’re going to lose even more ground in 2008 than they did in this year’s midterm elections.

(4) Chi-Town vs. Motown: Rivalries Across the Board (July 19, 2006) – After the sports business posts, my second favorite broad topic to write about is the nature of rivalries. The analysis of the Chicago-Detroit rivalries was something that I brewed over for months before I finally got down to writing it since there’s much more involved than just a single major rivalry between two particular teams such as the Bears vs. Packers.

(3) Hoosier Fleecing: A Q&A with Frank the Tank on the Eric Gordon Debacle (October 16, 2006) – The most widely read post that I’ve had on this blog to date due to links from Deadspin and numerous other sites from across the blogosphere along with continued interest in the story. As you can probably tell, the emotions were extremely raw at the time. Even though I’ve clamed down a bit, Satan’s Spawn, er, Kelvin Sampson, is going to need to wear some SWAT team gear if he wants to survive his visit the real Assembly Hall in Champaign on January 23rd.

(2) The Best of Both Worlds: A Modest Proposal for a College Football Playoff That Keeps the Bowls (July 28, 2006) – As long as the BCS school presidents continue to support the current bowl system, this post will stand the test of time. My college football playoff proposal wasn’t necessarily the most original idea (I’ve seen variations of the playoff/bowl hybrid before), but I did want to set forth a system that would give incentives for the BCS conferences to implement it as opposed to the standard calls for an NCAA Tournament-style format, which the powers that be will never go for. In the wake of this year’s Michigan-Florida debacle, it’s time to get this done.

(1) The Paranoia of Illini Nation (December 15, 2005) – This was the issue that spurred me to begin this blog and was my first real substantive post. Even though the Eric Gordon reference is obviously now dated, it’s still my favorite piece of writing as it combines my emotional love for the Illini with an attempt to step back from the proverbial chip on the shoulder that seems to plague our fan base.

I hope that you enjoyed this look back on the recent past and get ready for a sophomore year that hopefully won’t have a slump!

They Killed Kenny Williams and Land-o-Links for 12/8/2006

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Due to time constraints, Frank the Tank’s Classic Music Video of the Week will go on a brief hiatus until after the holidays. In the meantime, though, here are some links to warm you up:

(1) Thoughts on ’07 and Beyond: Defending Kenny Williams (Chi-Sox Blog) – Jeeves has a spirited defense of the moves that Kenny Williams and the White Sox have been making or planning to make this offseason. It might very well turn out that the Freddy Garcia trade to the Phillies will work out in the long-term. However, what concerns me as a White Sox fan in general is that just when it seemed as though the organization was turning the corner to spend the resources that would befit a team that is located in the nation’s third-largest media market, Jerry Reinsdorf seems to be reverting back to the notion that his club is really the equivalent of a small-market franchise and must reign in spending accordingly. Not too long ago, I argued that Reinsdorf was one of the best owners in sports and couldn’t really have been blamed for not spending frivolously in the manner of George Steinbrenner or Tom Hicks. However, when the Sox ended up selling out a majority of their games in 2006 along with gaining increased income from its partial stake in Comcast SportsNet Chicago, it’s tough to justify the team pinching pennies again.

(2) At Rams’ Field, Two Sponsors For One Night Only (Wall Street Journal) – Naming rights are so nice, let’s do it twice!

(3) Rental Turf War Escalates (Chicagoist) – This is what passes for gang warfare in Lakeview.

(4) Valet Confidential (Chicago Tribune) – Where your car ends up when you hand the keys over to the valet in the city.

(5) Can Someone Put a Leash on Gumbel? (Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel) – As one of the five people in the country that actually receives the NFL Network, I have to agree with poker commentator extraordinaire Norman Chad on the terror known as Bryant Gumbel’s announcing skills.  It’s a shame that Cris Collinsworth, who I believe is the best football color man in the industry, has to be paired with such an abomination.  This is also disappointing since I’ve been a fan of pretty much everything else that the NFL Network has done this year, including Sunday highlight shows that are vastly superior to the offerings from ESPN and the other networks.  With the use of the guy that looks like Malcom X compared to Wayne Brady, I almost (heavy emphasis on the almost) want to hear Joe Buck’s voice again.

(6) The DePaul/Illini Connection (Fleece the Pig, Flog the Pony) – As an alum of both of these schools, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

(7) Rex Grossman Eats Tainted Pork? (Critical Sports Blog) – Rex might need to lay off of the Taco Bell.

And finally…

(8) What We Thought Was Cool… (Chronically Insane) – A true blast from the past from Chronically Insane about a film that I hadn’t thought about in years.

No More Time to Make the Doughnuts and Land-o-Links for 12/6/2006

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New Yorkers better grab those Krispy Kremes quickly, as you’ll see when you take a look at today’s links:

(1) New York Bans Most Trans Fats in Restaurants (New York Times) – Horrifically, Chicago also has plans to ban all food that tastes good.

(2) Rex Grossman – Freakin’ Exhausting (Ron Karkovice Fan Club) – The following is my personal letter to Rex posted on my fantasy football league message board as I released him for (gulp) Jeff Garcia:

“Dear Rex,

You have broken me. I can’t take it anymore. Not only do you make me rack my brain while watching the Bears, my favorite team, but you’ve also tanked my fantasy team when I needed you most in the wake of Donovan McNabb’s season-ending injury. One can only take such a double emotional beating on a weekly basis. Therefore, I have to painfully say goodbye.”

(3) Fight Was Right, Even If The Result Wasn’t (Mark Tupper Weblog) – The undermanned Illini didn’t look too bad against my sleeper national championship pick of Arizona on Saturday, but there’s still a whole lot of work to do. After a relatively tough week, Illinois gets to come back to the Assembly Hall to play against one of the great pronounciations of an acronym in IUPUI.

(4) Sox’s Talks Center on Rays’ Baldelli (Chicago Tribune) – One thing for White Sox GM Kenny Williams to think about: Rocco Baldelli invariably breaks a limb within three weeks of every Opening Day. He’s the Italian baseball version of Grant Hill.

(5) On Notice: Fiasco Edition (mgoblog) – Pure Michigan anger (and it’s all justifiable).

(6) Perhaps She Has Chosen The Wrong Extracurricular Activity (Deadspin) – Well, Michigan will have at least one person cheering for them at the Rose Bowl. USC cheerleaders, bless their hearts, are so accomodating.

(7) The Perfect Storm (Siberian Baseball) – LaTroy Hawkins in Coors Field. Mull that thought over for a moment.

(8) Wham, Bam, Thank You, Sam (Chicago Sun-Times) – Sammy Mejia and my law school alma mater of DePaul proudly defended the honor of my undergraduate alma mater on Saturday by beating up Bill Self in his first return to the state of Illinois since leaving the Illini twisting in the wind.

(9) Great Games Make It Harder To Blog Since There’s Nothing To Bitch About (Blog-a-Bull) – Have the Bulls finally turned a corner in the wake of the Ben Wallace headband madness?

And finally…

(10) Rock Group Nice Peter Explains Song ’50 Cent is a Pussy’ (AllHipHop.com) – Over/under on the number of days before the members of Nice Peter are found buried underneath the Meadowlands: 2.

Land-o-Links – 11/29/2006

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I’ll eventually get back to writing some full-fledged substantive posts once I have some time, but you’ll at least see a return of Frank the Tank’s Classic Music Video of the Week tomorrow. Until then, enjoy these links:

(1) Does Cubs’ New Star Have a Message from the Tribune? (New York Times) – With daily speculation about the Tribune Company breaking up its media conglomeration, a lot of people seem to believe that the recent spending spree by the Cubs is an indicator that the corporation wants to sell off the team since the club has had a reputation of being tightwads relative to its wealth. However, as Andrew Ross Sorkin (no relation to the TV producer Aaron, who I’ll be addressing separately on a completely different subject below) notes, this is completely counterintuitive in the business world and, specifically, the private equity world that the Tribune is probably heading into, where cutting expenses is paramount. If anything, the increased spending by the Cubs makes it less likely that the Tribune is going to part ways with the franchise (at least in terms of selling it off by itself without coupling it with other assets). My feeling is that while the newspaper operations of the Tribune, which are the source of the earnings pressure, will be split off in some fashion, the synergy of the Cubs, WGN Television, WGN Radio, and the partial stake in Comcast SportsNet Chicago is too lucrative and valuable as a whole to break apart into separate pieces.

(2) Critic Loses Giddiness for NBC’s Show ‘Studio 60’ (Chicago Tribune) – This article encapsulates my love-hate relationship with Aaron Sorkin. When “The West Wing” and “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” have been focused on the insider baseball workings of the respective subjects of politics and the entertainment industry, they have been among the most well-written and fascinating pieces of dramatic television anywhere. However, it seems as though Sorkin just can’t resist the opportunity to hammer the viewers over the head with his personal political views, which regardless of whether one agrees with him, are delivered in such a heavy-handed and preachy manner that he destroys the quality of his shows. Case in point is the example that Maureen Ryan refers to in her article, where Sorkin intimated in a recent “Studio 60” episode that there are people who can live for 50 or more years in that supposed “backwater town” of Columbus, Ohio (despite the fact that it is home to the largest university in the United States, the state capital of the 7th largest state in the country, and a burgeoning “creative class”, the city’s mere location in the Midwest clearly indicates to Sorkin that its population must be full of rubes) and never hear of Laurel and Hardy. (Note: This could very well be the only time that I will ever defend anything from Ohio on this blog, but it’s deserved on this point.) I’ve gone over before how much I oppose the social conservative agenda, yet comments such as these continue to give credence to the charges that Hollywood is full of liberal elites.

(3) Guard Play Awful; Work To Be Done (Mark Tupper Weblog) – Two years ago, the embarrassment of riches in the Illini backcourt with current NBA-ballers Deron Williams (who’s playing incredibly well this season for the Jazz so far), Luther Head, and Dee Brown catapulted the team to the national championship game. Now, it appears as if though Illinois is going to be shuffling around guards until Demetri McCamey arrives in Champaign next season. Granted, I knew there would be a number of painful evenings with the departures of Dee and James Augustine this year, but being able to watch the new team last night for the first time made me realize that we have a huge deficit in terms of being able to produce on the offensive end of the floor. It’s going to be even tougher this weekend on the road in Phoenix against an Arizona team that I believe can go the distance.

(4) Miracle Drug (Ron Karkovice Fan Club) – The Bulls’ back-to-back games against the Knicks couldn’t have come soon enough with all of the Ben Wallace headband wackiness. Once again, I give thanks to Isiah Thomas, the greatest GM in Bulls history.

(5) Crede Tale All About Cash and Dash (Chicago Tribune) – If the White Sox want to move its pillar at third base in Joe Crede as part of blockbuster package to bail Alex Rodriguez out of New York, that’s one thing. However, Crede for Chone Figgins isn’t going to make my heart flutter.

(6) Bears Road to the Playoffs (Windy City Gridiron) – As the Chicago media has commenced the inevitable frothing at the mouth to yank Rex Grossman for Brian Griese, the larger picture is that the Bears are still in command to secure homefield advantage throughout the playoffs. On a related note, notwithstanding the excellent play so far of Eastern Illinois alum and Jessica Simpson boy-toy Tony Romo (let’s not forget that Rex got off to a similarly hot start this year before NFL teams got enough video of him to pick him apart), my feeling is that the Cowboys are paper tigers on a hot streak that they cannot maintain and aren’t a long-term threat. The one real NFC challenger in my eyes is Seattle with a healthy tandem of Matt Hasselback and Shaun Alexander back in the fold. I don’t want a Seahawks version of last season when the Bears destroyed the Panthers during the regular season only to get subsequently smoked by Steve Smith at Soldier Field in the postseason.

And finally…

(7) Snoop Dogg Arrested, Again (Washington Post) – I thought it was standard operating procedure to carry your piece onto the Tonight Show.

(Image from Fall TV Preview)

The Windy City vs. The Big Apple: Examining The Rivalries

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While Chicagoans hold their greatest vitriol for the Packers, we can take solace in the fact that no matter how the Bears perform, we at least get to live in what we consider to be the greatest city in the world as opposed to Green Bay. As I’ve noted before, Chicago has across-the-board pro and college sports rivalries with all of the teams in Detroit, but anyone that’s ever lived in the Windy City would never willingly move to the Motor City. (Granted, any that’s ever lived anywhere would probably not willingly move to Detroit.) There’s really only one town that Chicago is constantly comparing itself to in terms of life in general: New York City. Chicago has always competed with New York in terms of sports, pizza (as a certified pizza connoisseur, I have a deep respect for the thin slice that you can fold over, but there’s nothing that compares to the deep dish), the arts, comedians, writers, mobsters, politicians, financial markets, skyscrapers, rappers, and pretty much everything else.

Since New York holds an unparalleled place in the world’s psyche along with carrying a whole lot more sizzle, though, Chicago has a bit of an inferiority complex with its East Coast rival as displayed in the “Second City” moniker, albeit the harping about New York here is not nearly as acute as the afflictions in Boston and Philadelphia (I’ve seen firsthand how neurotic those people are towards NYC). In the age of geographic alignments of sports leagues and divisions, Chicago-New York matchups don’t take on the gravity or frequency today as they did compared to even only a decade ago, yet there’s still some glamour associated when the two largest sports fan markets in nation meet up on the field, court, or ice. (Don’t waste my time, L.A. “fans”.) Thus, in honor of the Bears’ being in the midst of two consecutive trips to the final resting place of Jimmy Hoffa, here’s a ranking of the Chicago-New York sports rivalries from top to bottom:

(1) Chicago Bulls vs. New York Knicks – Obviously, the first thing that comes to mind are the heated battles in the early-1990s between Michael Jordan’s Bulls and the Pat Riley-led Knicks, who were essentially the Bad Boy Pistons minus basketball skills other than hard fouls. While the Bulls got the best of the Knicks more times than not with several dispositions in the playoffs and Jordan’s “Double Nickel” game at Madison Sqaure Garden from his 1995 comeback (years ago, the late Gene Siskel wrote this nice retrospective on #23’s top performances at MSG) , I’ll still go to my grave believing that the MJ-less Bulls of 1994 would have made it to the NBA Finals that year if not for the egregious phantom foul call by Hue Hollins on Scottie Pippen in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals. (Only the 2000 Illinois-Michigan football game could compare in terms of me being violated by an officiating crew – Illini fans know what I’m talking about.) Outside of just those ’90s games, these two NBA franchises are amazingly intertwined in terms of players and coaches with Phil Jackson, Charles Oakley, Bill Cartwright, Jalen Rose, Eddy Curry, Jamal Crawford, Antonio Davis’ crazy wife, and, of course, John Starks (at the time of that signing, Jerry Reinsdorf obviously felt that he didn’t piss off Chicago fans enough by bringing Albert Belle into town) just off of the top of my head. Plus, Isiah Thomas was nice enough to give us the draft pick that turned into Tyrus Thomas along with the chance to grab Greg Oden next year in what could turn out to be the NBA version of the Herschel Walker trade between the Cowboys and Vikings. This rivalry is certainly in a down period with Zeke’s historic ineptitude, but I’m sure that it will rise again in the near future.

(2) Chicago Cubs vs. New York Mets – This was one of the top rivalries in the National League before the divisions were realigned following Major League Baseball’s expansion in the 1990s. The Wrigley Field Bleacher Bums were among the most frequent users of the “Dar-ryl” chant against Darryl Strawberry while the most infamous Cubs moment this side of Steve Bartman was the black cat running in front of Ron Santo at Shea Stadium in 1969, which subsequently led to Chicago’s historic collapse to give the Mets the pennant. In fact, when the Cubs challenged a proposed realignment during the 1980s that would have sent them and the Cardinals to the NL West when there were still only two divisions, the Tribune Company cited the team’s rivalry with the Mets as the main factor. (The fact that West Coast road games would start at 9:30 Central Time on WGN was only a minor consideration, right?) While the two teams have suffered a number of of poor seasons over the past decade, the eventual three-division realignment is what really took a lot of the steam out of this rivalry. Still, there seems to be a bit of mutual disdain between the two clubs and fan bases that isn’t quite there with my White Sox and the Yankees (as I’ll explain later).

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(3) Chicago Bears vs. New York Giants – A classic old-time NFL matchup that, in my opinion, the league ought to be scheduling every year the way they currently have the Colts-Patriots annual tilt or the 49ers-Cowboys games from the past. Seeing that these are marquee teams with national fan bases from the two largest media markets in the NFL, it’s a no-brainer on paper. There’s a substantial amount of history between these two franchises, particularly in the pre-Super Bowl days when the clubs met six separate times for the NFL Championship (which is still the most any two teams have met in the title game including Super Bowls). Of course, the most memorable Bears-Giants moment from my lifetime, however, was the infamous whiffed punt by Sean Lendetta in the 1985 NFC Divisional Playoff Game (if anyone has found footage of this on YouTube, please let me know) that the Bears returned for a touchdown en route to 21-0 shutout.

(A couple of notes on this past Sunday’s Bears-Giants game: (a) Rex Grossman has certainly been on and off, but I don’t believe that it compares to the schizophrenic play of Devin Hester. The Bears punt returner seriously either fumbles/muffs/runs backwards for a loss or takes it all the way back to the house – there’s seriously no in between. I was cursing his performance all game, which he thereupon ran back a missed field goal for that tied for the longest play in NFL history, which is amazingly held by another Bear in Nathan Vasher. Hester’s like the Kirsten Dunst of football; and (b) The way that Eli Manning was shell-shocked to the point where he threw an interception right back to Bears in the series after that Hester touchdown, thereby sealing the game, cannot be much of a comfort to Giants fans. Rex was on the ascent by the end of the third quarter after playing a horrible first half while Eli got progressively worse as the night went on.)

(4) Chicago White Sox vs. New York Yankees – I always like to compare the Yankees with the Michigan Wolverines in terms of rivalries since, just as everyone in the Big Ten considers Michigan to be a huge rival, all of the American League teams circle the New York games on their respective schedules. However, Michigan really only considers Ohio State, Notre Dame, and Michigan State to be rivalry matchups, while the Yankees limit their emotions to the Red Sox and Mets. The point here is that White Sox fans (and I am most definitely one of them) might put a great deal of importance on the games with the Yankees, but I know well enough that this feeling certainly isn’t reciprocated. This was certainly different in the 1950s and 1960s when the Sox and Yankees were perennially battling each other for the AL pennant (with the Sox on the short end every time with the exception of 1959), yet in this age where the two teams rarely play more than six games per year due to the unbalanced scheduling in baseball, it’s unlikely this matchup is going to be much of a rivalry again unless they start meeting in the postseason on a regular basis.

(5) Chicago Blackhawks vs. New York Rangers – I’ll freely admit that I know little past the basics of hockey, but, as I’ve mentioned before in my Modest Proposal to Save the NHL, I do have to take issue with the fact that the NHL has essentially ignored its “Original Six” rivalries ever since they stopped using those wacky names for conferences and divisions. Thus, in the infinite wisdom of league schedulers, the Blackhawks and Rangers played each other only once last year and will play against one another only one time this season. Instead, Hawks fans get to enjoy plenty of tilts with the Columbus Blue Jackets (at least when they aren’t being blacked out on television in Chicago). So, this once great matchup sadly barely registers anywhere anymore.

And finally…

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(6) Chicago Cubs vs. New York Yankees – This isn’t a rivalry at all other than being baseball fans’ (if not everyone’s) universal benchmarks for failure and success and a Fox executive’s wet dream of a postseason matchup, but it’s an opportunity to remind Cubs fans that Babe Ruth’s alleged called shot came at Wrigley Field against the Chicago National League Ball Club in the 1932 World Series. Ahhh… it’s great to be a White Sox fan.

(Images from SportsWall, Cubbies Baseball, Baseball Myths)

Land-o-Links – 10/27/2006

The long Bears bye week is finally over. Until Sunday’s game, there’s a smorgasbord of links to start your weekend off right, so let’s get to it:

1) The Marques Colston Travesty (Manning Family Reunion) – I make no apologies for noticing this glitch after Week 1 and immediately picking up Colston for my Yahoo fantasy football team to exploit it. You snooze, you lose.

2) We Have Ways Of Making Your Mascot Talk (Deadspin) – A warning for all of my family members that attended or are attending Penn: this video is a bit disturbing.

3) “The Running of the Brides” (Linda) – My sister was caught on TV this past weekend (it’s one her friends that’s the future bride).

4) Portland Trail Blazers Get Hint After Being Left Off 2006-07 NBA Schedule (The Onion) – Last year, I saw a bunch of Trail Blazers walk into the Las Vegas casino I was staying in at the time. Let’s just say that it was like Grand Theft Auto, only in real life with really tall guys.

5) Slabs Are Joining Scoops in Ice Cream Retailing (New York Times) – Cold Stone Creamery rules.

6) Tom Skilling Gets Out of Jury Duty (Chicagoist) – His brother knows a thing or two about criminal courtrooms.

7) Fire Jay Mariotti (Petition Spot) – Sign me up.

8) That’s Where The Money Is (Free Darko) – Here’s a big reason why I’m excited for the upcoming Bulls season that’s starting on Halloween night.

9) Ray-Ban Hopes to Party Like It’s 1983 By Relaunching Its Wayfarer Shades (Wall Street Journal) – Remember when this fashion trend was cemented by this commentary on the University of Illinois by our favorite Scientologist?

10) Harold Ford Jr. On His Playboy Party (YouTube) – Even by today’s lowlife standards, the Tennessee Senate race has been particularly ugly. Fortunately, Harold Ford Jr. perfectly summed up his reasons for attending a Playboy Party at the Super Bowl last year. Amen, brother!

11) The Cubs Might Kill This Man (Siberian Baseball) – Take it from someone that’s a White Sox fan: hiring Lou Piniella as manager was the right move for the Cubs. I know that there was a sentiment out there to bring in hometown hero Joe Girardi, but savvy baseball fans know that you don’t get much better than Piniella at the helm. The franchise has been putzing around since 1908, so the least that it could have done for its tortured fan base was get the top manager on the market, which it certainly did here.

12) Outside of Michigan and Missouri, Series Taking Hits (MLive.com) – Mike and Mike had some ominous words this morning stating that the game of baseball is in real trouble if the only time people tune into the playoffs are when the Yankees, Red Sox, Cubs, or Dodgers are involved. For what it’s worth, I’m trying to figure out exactly what deal Tony LaRussa made with the devil to give the Cardinals a 3-1 lead over the Tigers in the World Series heading into tonight.

And speaking of the World Series…

13) Indelible Soxtober Snapshots (Chicago Tribune) – One year ago yesterday, I was basking in the glow of the first White Sox World Series Championship since 1917 in the comfort of my home with my wife. What made that Sox season magical was that, unlike the ’85 Bears, the Bulls dynasty of the ’90s, or the ’05 Illinois Final Four run, it truly came out of the blue: I had no expectations for the team whatsoever at the beginning of last year. In fact, I was pretty convinced that I would never see the White Sox win it all in my lifetime. Fortunately, the magic of Ozzie Guillen’s signaling for the fat man from the bullpen, Paul Konerko’s grand slam, Scott Podsednik finding his power stroke twice in the postseason after not hitting a single homerun during the regular season, Geoff Blum coming off of the bench to hit a game-winning RBI after 14 innings, El Duque punching out three straight batters with the bases loaded against the Red Sox, the White Sox starting rotation pitching four straight complete games in the ALCS, A.J. Pierzynksi’s decision to run to first with a phantom ball in the dirt, and Bobby Jenks routinely making that annoying “fire” graphic come up on the Fox radar gun to close the games out made last October one of those months that I’ll be telling my kids about years from now. As for today, though, there’s always next year.