Category: Random Thoughts

Non-Stop TV Seasons Need to be Adopted Everywhere

On By Frank the TankIn Pop Culture, Random Thoughts, Television2 Comments

There have been two things annoying me over the past week.  The first is the performance of my fantasy baseball team, where I'm about a couple days away from having my pitching staff massacred Steinbrenner-style.  I'll spare you the details – I could seriously write three or four posts per day devoted to my fantasy baseball and football exploits, but my total readership would plummet from five to two.

The other item driving me bonkers is a bit more universal: reruns upon reruns upon reruns.  Even more infuriating is ABC's practice of promoting "new episodes" of "Lost", "Desperate Housewives", and "Grey's Anatomy" that are just a bunch of clips of previous shows (I wouldn't need to "catch-up" on what the people on the "Lost" island have been doing if you'd show a new show more often than once a freakin' month).  All of this is predicated upon the idiotic time-worn belief of television executives that the American public only wants to watch new TV episodes during November, February, and May.

The aforementioned months are "sweeps" months, which are when Nielsen conducts its most thorough measurements of who is watching television (note: July is also considered a sweeps month, but networks rarely air new episodes of its hit shows during that time).  The TV networks then rely on this information to set new advertising rates for its programs.  As a result, the networks hold back a disproportionate amount of their new and best shows for those three periods a year while the rest of the time is hit or miss (you also know it's sweeps month when your local news has a "special investigation" into how the latest popular toy/kitchen gadget/something in your home/something in your car/something in fast-food restaurants kills babies).

The one over-the-air network that has mercifully stepped out of this ridiculous cycle (several cable networks such as MTV and FX have already been doing this for years) is Fox.  Viewers receive five straight months of shows such as "24" and "American Idol" without interruption.  Not surprisingly, Fox, which once upon a time was the butt of countless UHF jokes, will almost certainly end up winning the coveted age 18-49 category in the ratings by the end of May (advertisers care about this number much more than overall total ratings because of the group's spending power).

Like many things in life, Fox's move wasn't born out of brilliance but rather necessity.  Fox airs Major League Baseball's postseason every year in October, which means it needs to shelve new episodes of shows that would normally be aired during that time.  This caused a huge number of problems in the first years that Fox had baseball since the game conflicts came only a couple of weeks after the networks started their traditional fall television season.  In order to adapt, Fox went to the equivalent of a multiple season format, where the network airs a block of programs from the beginning of summer through the end of September, have a different schedule for October through December, and then a third slate of programs from January through May.

What initially was a disruption from baseball that was difficult to recover from for the rest of the year turned into the catalyst for Fox's ratings success.  The network stumbled upon something that should have been obvious but no one else had bothered to consider: people enjoy watching new episodes of their favorite shows every week without stopping as opposed to having a season stretch out for nine months.  This is especially true of dramas that have rolling storylines and plots.  One of my favorite shows is "Lost", yet it is maddening when I have to wait a month to get a resolution to a cliffhanger.  "24", on the other hand, rolls on straight through from January through May without impediment, which, for me, heightens the anticipation and intensity for each subsequent episode.

Judging by the way the ratings have gone the past couple of years, the public seems to agree with me.  It would behoove the other networks to follow Fox's lead and break out of a television season cycle that should have been abandoned a long time ago.  People are a lot smarter than considering a bunch of clips to be a "new" episode.

Additional Article of Note:

A New Yorker article on sweeps from 2003 goes into how the sunken costs of the current Nielsen system and the interests of affiliates are severe roadblocks to getting the sweeps cycle changed.

Land-o-Links – 4/21/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Land-o-Links, Random ThoughtsLeave a comment

Links for the weekend:

1) Will Smith Crashes Bar Mitvah – Mazal Tov to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

2) Google in China: The Big Disconnect – In-depth analysis of how one of the world's foremost promoters of free speech and open access is dealing with the parameters of a monolithic government that wants to control information at all costs.

3) Art Institute to Start Charging – My sister Linda pointed this out on her own blog the other day. The phasing out of free Tuesdays is particularly disappointing to me. One of the best perks I've enjoyed while working (and previously, while going to school) in the Loop was heading over to the Art Institute during my lunch break and checking out one of the world's foremost art collections for a few moments free of charge. It's something I've been doing about once a month for quite awhile. You can't beat that in terms of clearing your mind in the middle of the day. Sadly, I won't be able to do that anymore (without paying, anyway).

And last but absolutely not least…

4) Master P Comments on Lil' Romeo's Beef with Bow Wow – The fact that these two have a beef right now is funny in and of itself (the Lohan/Duff feud last year had a greater potential for senseless violence). The location of where this beef started, however… well, it goes to show you nothing is sacred anymore.

Smell ya later!

Land-o-Links – 4/19/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Random ThoughtsLeave a comment

Has anyone been watching ESPN's NBA show lately? B.J. Armstrong has entered that Dick Clark realm where he has seriously not aged a single day in the past 15 years. Anyway, here are the links for the day:

1) Suge Knight Filing for Bankruptcy Protection – This story has been out for awhile, but I'd just like to point out that I'd be petrified of telling Suge Knight that he owes a couple bucks for his share of a pizza, much less $107 million.

2) Who Put the Y'all in Idol? – I've finally found my answer as to how Bucky Covington lasted all of those weeks. The Nielsen market shares for all of those Southern cities are seriously Super Bowl-type figures.

3) Lasting Love Often Elusive For Celebrities – Statistics are great tools for many subjects, such as baseball and economics. However, why anyone would need to do a statistical analysis to show that – gasp! – celebrities get divorced and re-marry more often than the average person on the street? If you for some reason needed some numerical proof, here you go.

4) Hair Police Strike Again – I really don't understand why Jerry Reinsdorf has all of the sudden become a George Steinbrenner-style totalitarian dictator when it comes to haircuts. Jeez, they only won the World Series last year with such hair, you know. Speaking of great hair, Rick Morrissey had a nice talk with the legendary afro known as Oscar Gamble today.

     Oscar Gamble     Tony Eason Sacked.jpg

And finally…

4) Re-creating a Classic (submitted by Minneapolis Red Sox) – This man needs to be given an Oscar, Emmy, Golden Globe, and a Source Award for this monument to baseball history. Now, we just need to do a Tecmo Bowl/Mortal Kombat hybrid recreation of Super Bowl XX showing the Bears 46 Defense decapitate Tony Eason.

(Photos from ESPN.com)

Land-o-Links – 4/18/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Land-o-Links, Random ThoughtsLeave a comment

Can somebody please whack President Logan on "24" already? His continued existence has been keeping me up at night. Anyway, here are the links for the day:

1) American Brandstand 2005 (Top Brand References in Hip-Hop) – A full analysis of brand references in hip-hop songs from last year. Mercedes-Benz was by far #1 on the list with Nike in the #2 position. Interestingly enough, Hennessy beat out Cristal in the liquor category, which initially surprised me, but then I instantly remembered that rappers have been talking up the cognac for ages. The first time I ever even heard of Hennessy was in Digital Underground's "Humpty Dance" – "I drink up all the Hennessy ya got on ya shelf, so just let me introduce myself". By the way, don't ever ask me if you need someone that remembers birthdays, but if you want the lyrics to the "Humpty Dance" immediately, I'm your man.

2) Tom: Katie's a Scientologist, Too – Diane Sawyer confirmed that the Church of Scientology is right: Tom Cruise is indeed an alien.

3) The Worst Franchise in Sports – ESPN is looking for a new holder of this title in the wake of the Clippers making the playoffs (20/20 hindsight: Elton Brand straight-up for Tyson Chandler??? The Cubs must have taken over Bulls management that day). The real-time vote count as of Tuesday morning doesn't reflect what everyone ought to know is the truth: there's no franchise in sports worse than the Chicago Blackhawks. As I've promised before, I'll present a full-scale diatribe on this subject in the near future. In the meantime, check out George Johnson's piece on the Hawks as an appetizer.

4) I'm O.K., You're Biased – A Harvard psychologist's conclusion: the average person believes that he/she is more objective than he/she really is and overestimates the influence of biases in other people's decisions.

And finally…

5) Juror Replacement is Key to Challenge – If you live in Illinois, just ignore the blanket media coverage today of former Governor George Ryan's conviction. Nothing matters until the inevitable appeals process is completed (and with all the wackiness surrounding the jury deliberations, there will be a lot of issues put into question). Talk to me in two or three years when we finally get some real closure on this story.

Land-o-Links – 4/14/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Land-o-Links, Random Thoughts1 Comment

Happy Good Friday to all of you!  Here are a few links for your Easter weekend:

1) VH1 Renews Top Show 'Flavor of Love' – Honestly, if I were only able to renew one show on all of television, this would be it.  I think we all share with the producers' "frustration" here.

2) It's Naive To Think Cheating's Out of Baseball – Rick Morrissey nailed this right on the head.  Are people seriously wondering about the balls being juiced again?  Maybe Barry (rhymes with perjury) Bonds will get off scott-free in the end after all.

3) Ask Chicagoist: Who's the Empire Carpet Guy? – Ever since I got my first cellphone, I pretty much have erased all phone numbers from my brain.  The exception, however, is the Empire Carpet phone number.

And finally, even if you didn't read anything else, you must click on the following link immediately…

4) Lil' Jon Meets Lord Stanley – What???  Yeah!!! Okay!!! (P.S. I also implore you to read the "5 Questions with Lil' Jon" for the capper).

Land-o-Links – 4/13/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Land-o-Links, Random Thoughts2 Comments

It’s been awhile since I posted some links, so here you go:

1) NASCAR Fans Trade the R.V. for a Condo – An alternate universe where Wrigley Field is a NASCAR track and Wrigleyville rooftops are filled with rednecks rather than yuppies.

2) ‘West Wing’ Writers’ Novel Way of Picking the President – Arnold Vinick (the Republican presidential candidate played by Alan Alda) was originally supposed to win… or so they claim.

3) Suit Filed in SICA Breakup – Ugly high school conference breakup on the South Side that involves my alma mater Homewood-Flossmoor as one of the defendants in a lawsuit. It’s a veritable kitchen sink of socioeconomic and racial issues.

4) Michael Jackson Bailout Said to Be Close – Who’s going to get Michael Jackson out of a hole greater than the GNP of Canada? The Beatles, of course.

Speaking of debts…

5) Online Gambling Bets Go Against Bucky Covington – America finally gave peace a chance by voting Bucky off of American Idol last night, which means exasperated gamblers were able to prevail for once after weeks upon weeks of losing their shirts. The improbable Bucky run is one of those pillar moments in gambling history where the house just destroyed anyone who wagered with any common sense – it’s got to be up there with betting on Michigan State starting a 2006 Final Four run by covering the spread against George Mason or taking the over, with the over/under being 1, for the number of weeks that the John Stamos show that ABC spent eighteen straight months promoting would last on the air. This is why all of those Las Vegas casinos are so pretty.

A Tradition Unlike Any Other: Frank the Tank’s Random Weekend Thoughts

On By Frank the TankIn Big Ten, Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Golf, Illinois Fighting Illini, Major League Baseball, NBA Basketball, Random Thoughts, Sports2 Comments

Random sports thoughts from the weekend:

1) Lefty Again – I was perplexed for a moment when I thought I saw Hootie Johnson, Jim Nantz, and Tiger Woods present the Green Jacket to Bartolo Colon in the Butler Cabin, but then I realized it was just Phil Mickelson. Seriously though, it was amazing to see Mickelson, who two years ago was golf's version of the Chicago Cubs, turn in such a dominating performance yesterday with a leaderboard filled with Tiger, Vijay Singh, Fred Couples, Retief Goosen, and Jose Maria Olazabel (one of the most underrated athletes in any sport) right behind him. The two best things about the Masters: (1) only 4 commercial breaks per hour with a limit of 2 commercials during each break and (2) when CBS jumps to "bonus coverage" of another hole, there isn't a shot of a coach taking a timeout to immediately go into another commercial break. As a result, I watched about 12 hours of golf this past weekend and the answer to your question is yes, I have no life.

2) Badgers and the Frozen Four – After watching Wisconsin beat Boston College in the Frozen Four to win the national championship in front of a virtual home crowd in Milwaukee, I believe that it's time for Illinois to make the leap to NCAA Division I hockey. One of these days, I'll write a long-winded and detailed rant on "How Bill Wirtz Fucked Up with Frank the Tank" explaining why I'm not an NHL fan and how the Blackhawks are dead to me, but when I was in college, going to Illini club hockey games was one of one of my favorite things to do on campus. Even though Illinois just had a club-level team, all of the games were packed with fans. Considering how popular the hockey teams are at the other Big Ten schools that have Division I programs, that hockey is typically the only sport other than football and men's basketball that consistently turns a profit for athletic departments, and the Assembly Hall can be turned into a rink for games, this seems to be a no-brainer for Illinois (although it seems that the rest of college hockey is petrified of the Big Ten forming its own hockey conference).

3) WTF, Bulls?! – The Bulls suffocated the Sixers last week in Philadelphia and the Sixers were reeling from losing another game on Friday night, so it would seem that the Bulls were destined to take a 2-game lead over Philly for the last Eastern Conference playoff spot on Saturday night in the rubber match in the comforts of the United Center, right? Well, I'll need to check the box score again to confirm this, but I believe that Allen Iverson made 5,000 straight jumpers along with 4,000 free throws in the third quarter while the Bulls shot 1-out-of-10,000,000. Believe me, if you think those numbers are bad, it looked a lot worse watching it live. So, there's now a tie for the last playoff spot with the Bulls needing to play the super-hot Nets on Tuesday. Just awful.

4) How Long is the Grace Period for the White Sox? – The Sox dropped 2 out of 3 to the Royals, which up until last week, when Kansas City voters passed a tax referendum to renovate Kauffman Stadium, was Candidate #1 of MLB Teams That Need to Move to Las Vegas. Supposedly, we're only one week into a five-year moratorium on complaining about a team after they've won a championship. Is everyone sure it isn't supposed to be a five-week moratorium instead?

5) Cubs – Cards vs. Yankees – Red Sox – Here's what I believe is the primary difference between Cubs – Cardinals rivalry and the Yankees – Red Sox rivalry (besides the "small" factor of actually winning the World Series recently): While the Cards could be equated with the Yankees in terms of success compared to their respective rivals, I've never met a Chicagoan that actually would ever willingly move to St. Louis (I'm not talking about heading to Wash U for college for 4 years – I mean permanent residence). I know I wouldn't. In contrast, the bemoaning of the constant failures of the Red Sox (up until 2004, of course) was an extension of the overall inferiority complex that Bostonians feel toward New York City. So, what's worse? Is it the Chicagoan that looks down upon St. Louis as an inferior city yet the Cubs maddeningly don't have anywhere near the history of success of their rube rivals (in football terms, subsitute "St. Louis" with "Green Bay" here)? Or is it the Bostonian that consistently feels inferior on both fronts? I'll leave you with that thought on your Monday morning.

Bucky, the Pink Line, Kelvin, and the Final Four

On By Frank the TankIn Big Ten, College Basketball, Music, Pop Culture, Random Thoughts, Sports, Television2 Comments

Some random thoughts for your Final Four weekend:

1) Bucky Survives and Advances – Forget about Presidential elections. What terrifies me about the voting patterns of the Red States is that Bucky Covington could very well be our next American Idol. If you've watched this season at all and have any discernible taste in music (or just an appreciation of proper intonation), you know exactly what I'm talking about. Not only did he not finish in the bottom 3 this week, but next week everyone has to sing country songs (looks like I'll be just tuning in for the results show), which plays right into Bucky's Southern Strategy. We can't let this happen. Vote or die, people!

2) The Pink Line – I seriously thought the Chicago Tribune was pulling an early April Fool's joke on us with this morning's front page article. Unfortunately, every time I set the bar lower for the CTA, they manage to limbo right under there.

3) Kelvin Sampson Hired at IU – The only thing more surprising than the announcement of Sampson's hiring at Indiana is the tepid response of Hoosier fans. As I said before, IU fans were expecting Coach K to drop everything, move to Bloomington, and bring along Phil Jackson and Pat Riley as his assistants. Notwithstanding the ignorance of its fan base, I believe that Indiana made a great hire and he was certainly as close to the top of the coaching mountain as the school could reasonably attain.

Take this from an Illini guy who was hoping that IU would screw up and bow to nepotistic pressure to hire within the “Indiana Family” a la Steve Alford (or the gold standard of Isiah Thomas): anyone that argues that Indiana should have hired Alford over Sampson is insane. Sampson has proven he can win lots of games and recruit great talent at the basketball backwaters of Pullman and Norman. It's interesting to note that the Hoosier fans that are most critical of the baggage regarding Sampson's calls to recruits are pretty much the same people that vehemently defended a coach that choked his players. Seems just a little bit hypocritical for them to pull out the "integrity" card, no?

All in all, Kelvin Sampson is a great fit for Indiana and is going to provide some tough competition on the floor and on the recruiting trails in the Big Ten. Indiana fans ought to thank their lucky stars they got this good of a coach.

4) Final Four Predictions – I'm not betting against George Mason anymore – I'm a believer. So, I'm going with George Mason over Florida and UCLA over LSU in the semifinals.

Have a great weekend!

NCAA Tournament Picks and Land-o-Links – 3/23/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Big Ten, Chicago Bears, College Basketball, Land-o-Links, NFL Football, Random Thoughts, SportsLeave a comment

My quick picks for tonight’s NCAA Tournament games are all chalk: Memphis over Bradley (although I’m proud of the Braves, the Tigers have too much firepower), Duke over LSU (probably will be a really close game), Texas over West Virginia (no longer will “Pittsnogle” be used as a verb in basketball), UCLA over Gonzaga (I will continue to pick Gonzaga to lose and call them overrated until the basketball gods rightfully bounce such an atrocious defensive team – they are the college version of the Dallas Mavericks).

Now, on to today’s links:

1) 2007 TV Rights Are On Big Ten’s Mind – Could Fox pay the Big Ten enough money to get the conference to abandon ESPN? I don’t care what the price is – leaving ESPN for more money would be fool’s gold for the Big Ten. The fact that no one outside of the Pacific time zone sees Pac-10 games has less to do with geography and more because none of their games are on ESPN. Plenty of hoops junkies have seen West Coast-based mid-major conferences such as the Mountain West, WCC, and Big West as a result of ESPN’s Big Monday. According to Teddy Greenstein, it looks like the Big Ten is going to do the right thing in the end and stay put.

2) Soap and the Campus: A Web-Site Spoof Succeeds – Have you ever met someone who went to Boston College? The old joke about them rings true: they think they’re Harvard in academics and Notre Dame in football. That’s a lot of bluster from a school that’s tied with our fair University of Illinois in the latest U.S. News rankings.

3) First Stadiums, Now Teams Take a Corporate Identity – If the MLS expands to Milwaukee, you know that the team must be called Milwaukee’s Best. There’s no other choice.

4) Chicago Parking Map – For those of you who can’t find a free parking space on the street and are willing to just give up and pay up, this should be a useful tool.

5) Signing New QB Should Have Been a Brees – I know that (a) Brian Griese isn’t exactly an addition to the Bears that makes my heart flutter and (b) complaining that Jay Mariotti is nuts is sort of like complaining that Chicago has corrupt politicians – it sucks but it’s never going to change. Still, what exactly were people expecting out of the Bears? It was a reasonable demand for the Bears to go out and get a solid backup quarterback, which is what they did in this situation by signing Griese. The Bears had as much of a chance of nabbing Drew Brees or Daunte Culpepper as the White Sox and Cubs had of trading for A-Rod a couple of years ago. Maybe I’m so happy to see that the Bears were proactive on the QB front for once that it’s coloring my thought process, but my gut reaction is that Mariotti needs to stop whining.

Land-o-Links – 3/13/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Land-o-Links, Random ThoughtsLeave a comment

Warning: I know it’s been like this already for the past week, but as long as the Illini are in the NCAA Tournament (and probably for the duration of March Madness regardless of whether they win or lose), Frank the Tank’s Slant will essentially be a college basketball blog. My numerous post ideas on the upcoming baseball season, the NFL free agency market, and wacky politicians will be on hold for awhile. However, I’ll still be tossing up some Land-o-Links to keep the non-basketball fans happy:

1) Upset ‘Brokeback’ Fans Advertise Their Feelings – Watts in 1965, Rodney King in 1992, “Brokeback Mountain” fans in 2006… watch out Los Angeles.

2) Lipinski and Other Abandon Parade Float as Smoke Erupts – Was anyone at the South Side Irish Parade sober enough to know this even happened?

3) The Origins of Uncle O’Grimacey (from Chicagoist) – March Madness + St. Patrick’s Day = Shamrock Shakes at McDonald’s! One sad thing, though: I never got to see Grimace’s Irish uncle.

And finally:

4) Flavor of Love: The Spit Hits the Fan – I can’t believe that I only started watching “Flavor of Love” on VH1 until midway through the season. The highly anticipated reunion special is going to be on next Sunday evening. This is quite possibly going to be the first TV series that I’m ever going to buy on DVD. I thought “Cheaters” was the pinnacle of reality television, but “Flavor of Love” has relegated that show to a pretender to the throne.