Dr. Z, You Damned Dirty Ape!

The last piece of the 2005-06 Frank the Tank Trifecta is almost in place – the Illini Final Four, the White Sox World Series, and now, just two victories to a Super Bears Super Bowl.  So, enough with Dr. Z’s preseason predictions (Bears ranked #32 out of 32?  Oops!).  I’ve been waiting for this weekend for four years!  Here are my NFL divisional playoff picks in order of confidence but not against the spread (home teams in CAPS):

1) New England Patriots over DENVER BRONCOS – I’ll repeat what I said on Monday: if you had to bet your life savings on either a team led by Tom Brady or a club commanded by Jake “The Snake” Plummer, who would you pick?  This is pretty easy.

2) CHICAGO BEARS over Carolina Panthers – How could this Super Fan put Da Bears at #2 in the confidence rankings?  We still have a QB that has played in 1 ½ games this season and has never been in the playoffs – that’s not cool considering how Carolina battered Eli Manning last week.  However, the Chicago Bears defense is rested, healthy, and ready to attack.  The Bears don’t need to stop Steve Smith (who had 169 receiving yards on November 20th against us) as much as they need to halt DeShaun Foster and the Panthers’ running game.  This is going to be a close game, but I believe the Bears will dominate on defense and create just enough offense (and, most importantly, avoid turnovers) to advance to the NFC Championship Game.

3) INDIANAPOLIS COLTS over Pittsburgh Steelers – The Colts are going to pull this one out only because they can take advantage of the carpet at the RCA/Hoosier/firemikedavis.com Dome.  The current 9 ½-point spread in favor of Indy is way too large; they’ll win but the Steelers will cover.  As I alluded to on Monday, I believe that the Pittsburgh power running game is going to give the speed-oriented Colts defense fits for most of the game.  However, in a flip-flop of the Bears’ situation, the Colts will probably make just enough stops on the defensive side of the ball to allow their offense to win this game in the end.

4) Washington Redskins over SEATTLE SEAHAWKS – This one really defies any logic.  On the Seattle side, Shaun Alexander is the NFL Offensive Player of the Year, Matt Hasselback is an accomplished quarterback with playoff experience, and Mike Holmgren is one of only a handful of coaches that has a postseason pedigree that can compete with Joe Gibbs.  The Redskins also were fortunate come out with a win last week after an abysmal game on offense.  Not surprisingly, the Seahawks are huge 9-point favorites.  However, I just have a gut feeling on this one.  I feel like Clinton Portis is going to be able to run well against the Seahawks defense, and when the Redskins are able to run the ball, they can beat anyone.  Plus, even though I’d like to see the Bears punish Mike Holmgren for all of the pain he inflicted on us as the Packers coach in 1990s, the first two times I was ever scarred as a sports fan in my life were when I witnessed, as a young child, the Redskins come into Solider Field and stun the Bears in consecutive playoff games in 1986 and 1987 (the latter of which was Walter Payton’s last game).  It’s time for the Bears to avenge the first sports scars of Frank the Tank, so it’s going to be Chicago vs. Washington for the NFC Championship next week.

Have a great weekend, Go Illini, Muck Fichigan, and GO BEARS!


4 thoughts on “Dr. Z, You Damned Dirty Ape!

  1. Golas

    Ouch-for-four on the weekend.
    This week can you post your picks as early as possible? My bookie hates last-minute calls on Friday or Saturday and I’d really like to cash in on such balls-on prognostication.


  2. Yup, after the high of the BCS bowl picks, this was a sad weekend for Frank the Tank. I’m lucky I don’t have too many readers in Carolina, Pittsburgh, Denver, or Seattle (actually, I don’t have too many readers anywhere) otherwise I’d be getting a lot of “lack of respect” hate mail right now.


  3. Golas

    See, I thought this proved Steve Smith was an avid reader here. You got him all fired up and he went out with something to prove. If your team can’t advance, maybe you can claim responsibility for one of the best playoff performances.


  4. Steve Smith got a billion yards against the Bears in the regular season, which is why I thought stopping the run was so important. Anyway, it doesn’t matter since the Bears couldn’t stop the run or pass on Sunday. I didn’t realize that Smith would get a million touchdowns, though.


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