Category: NFL Football

Mustache Bowl XL

On By Frank the TankIn NFL Football, Sports2 Comments

Two weeks ago, it was the battle of the beards.  For the Super Bowl, though, it’s time for the moustache challenge between coaches Mike Holmgren and Bill Cowher.  Of course, this duel is all an argument in semantics.  There’s only one mustachioed coach in Super Bowl history that’s got the total package: Iron Mike Ditka.  As Golas has pointed out, Da Coach is now lending his efforts to some interesting public service announcements.

Anyway, everyone this week has been complaining that there’s been no buzz about the teams in this Super Bowl at all.  As a football fan, I take this as a good sign since the quality of the actual game usually has an inverse relationship to the amount of hype the game receives during Super Bowl week (i.e. two of the best Super Bowls in recent memory have involved the bland media market-challenged Tennessee Titans and Carolina Panthers – ‘nuff said).  Plus, looking at how these teams match up with each other, I think it really is going to be a great game.  If it’s not, at least there’s a new “Grey’s Anatomy” on right afterwards.  Here’s how I break the game down:

1) Offense – The Steelers have a good and efficient offense.  As a Bears and Big Ten football fan, I have a soft spot for the grind-it-out running game that Pittsburgh employs.  Big Ben Roethlisberger has also improved to the point where he’s actually making great throws as opposed to just “managing” the game.  However, Mike Holmgren is one of the best offensive-minded coaches in history.  He has a stud quarterback in Matt Hasselback and the NFL MVP at running in Shaun Alexander.  Other than the Colts, the Seahawks have the best offensive unit in football, so they have a clear but not huge edge on this side of the ball.  Advantage: Seattle Seahawks

2) Defense – I have to admit that I don’t know much about the Seattle defense other than they’ve got a guy smaller than me playing at linebacker.  They did a great job against Steve Smith, possibly the most dangerous player in football, in the NFC Championship Game.  However, the Seahawks won’t be able to stack their defense against one Steelers player – Pittsburgh runs the ball too well and they have a great wide receiver in Hines Ward.

I do know, though that Pittsburgh has a championship-caliber defense.  They’ve shut down some of the highest-powered offenses in football during the playoffs (Bengals, Colts, and Broncos).  Troy Polamalu, when his hair doesn’t get in the way, is a spectacular safety.  I’m all about the Steelers D.  Advantage: Pittsburgh Steelers

3) Special Teams – Pittsburgh can put in fellow Chicago south suburbanite Antwaan Randle El on special teams.  That’s all you need to know.  Advantage: Pittsburgh Steelers

4) Coaching – This is a tough one.  Both Holmgren and Cowher are among the elite of NFL head coaches, which is why they’ve both been in the league for so long.  I’ve got to give Holmgren the edge here – he’s won the Super Bowl before, while Cowher lost his only Super bowl appearance as well as having a history of his team melting down in the AFC Championship Game.  I’ve got to give the edge to Paul Allen’s buddy here.  Advantage: Seattle Seahawks

5) Prediction – This is just my gut feeling, but I think that Seattle is going to come out more fired up for this game.  The Seahawks were the #1 seed in the NFC playoffs, yet are 4-point underdogs to the lowest seed from the AFC playoffs.  Plus, all anyone seems to care about this week is that Jerome Bettis is back playing in his hometown. There’s a little too much favoritsm toward the Steelers when the fact of the matter is that these are two evenly matched teams.  Therefore, my prediction is:

Seattle Seahawks (+4) over Pittsburgh Steelers, with the final score being 30-27 in favor of the Seahawks.

So, I’m taking the points and the over (the over/under is 47) in what should be a great game.  Enjoy the pregame show that’s already started this Friday morning, the game, the Rolling Stones, an Illini basketball mauling of Penn State to exact revenge on how the football Nittany Lions scored 5 million points on us in our Homecoming game (it would have been even worse if JoePa hadn’t yanked his starters before the first half was even over – thank goodness game 1 of the World Series was going on at the same time), and the commercials!

Big Ben Wins the Beard Bowl and Other Weekend Sports Tidbits

On By Frank the TankIn Big East, Big Ten, College Basketball, DePaul Blue Demons, Illinois Fighting Illini, NBA Basketball, NFL Football, SportsLeave a comment

Despite the worst two conference championship games in recent memory (although I at least didn’t repeat the debacle known as my divisional playoff predictions), there was a lot going on in the world of sports this past weekend, particularly on the basketball court:

1) AFC Championship Game: Beard Bowl is a Big Ben Beatdown – The Steelers are the gold standard of where the Bears want to be.  Pittsburgh has a stifling defense coupled with a powerful running game, much like the Bears did this past season.  However, as Rick Morrissey aptly pointed out in today’s Chicago Tribune, the biggest reason why the Steelers are heading to Motown while the Bears are staying home is that Ben Roethlisberger can do a whole lot more than just “manage” a game – he brings a ton to the quarterback position in terms of passing accuracy, mobility, and poise.  Plus, Bill Cowher has completely shocked everyone by turning his QB loose and stretching the field out with aggressive passing plays over the last two games.  The Steelers have been completely in rythm on offense.

At the same time, Jesus H. Unabomber, er, I mean Jake Plummer finally showed his true colors and imploded as predicted here and elsewhere.  The interception he threw five seconds after the Broncos got decent field position for the first time all day was about as predictable as Jason going on a killing spree in a Friday the 13th movie.  Plummer’s fantastic beard couldn’t hide the fact that he just isn’t a guy you can depend on in crunch time.

2) NFC Championship Game: Holmgren Climbs Hasselback Mountain – Watching this game was essentially 3 hours of “what if” questions going through my mind, as in, “What if the Bears had double-teamed Steve Smith?”  The Panthers offense was clueless yesterday with the Seahawks draping two or more defenders over Smith the entire game.  Troy Aikman appropriately called the Bears “arrogant” for believing that they could stick to single coverage on Smith last week.  The Seahawks weren’t stupid and cocky on defense regarding the Panther wide receiver and made the needed adjustments, which is why Seattle is headed to their first Super Bowl this season while we here in Chicago continue to buy books about the ’85 Bears.

Meanwhile, Matt Hasselback has come a long way from his “We want the ball and we’re going to score” comment against the Packers after the overtime coinflip in a 2004 playoff game at Lambeau.  This guy looks like a Super Bowl quarterback.  Mike Holmgren has probably cemented his standing as the best teacher of quarterbacks in history, with Joe Montana, Steve Young, Brett Favre, and now Hasselback under his belt.

3) Two More Weeks??? – Other than the fact that the games themselves were terrible this year, the worst thing about conference championship weekend is that we all have to wait two friggin’ weeks until the Super Bowl.  The Super Bowl should actually feature a pretty good matchup this year, but I don’t know how many human-interest stories can be milked from the Pittsburgh – Seattle pairing for two whole weeks.

4) Here Comes McBride – Richard McBride, it’s a pleasure to see you again.  Hitting four three-pointers was a very good thing on Saturday.  It was an even better thing to see the Illini notch their first Big Ten road victory, even if it was against Northwestern.  In addition to McBride, Dee Brown and James Augustine got back on track in the victory.  The only thing that troubles me is that Illinois didn’t completely shut the door on the Wildcats in the second half.  Northwestern never really got back into the game, but it’s disheartening to see a 20-plus point lead dwindle to 10-points in a matter of minutes.  We still need to improve on closing out games if we want to win another Big Ten title and make a deep run in the NCAA Tournament.

5) DePaul is Done – Unfortunately, this is probably going to be the last time I write about DePaul in the near future since the Blue Demons have gone in the past week from an NCAA Tournament bubble team to a club that is unlikely to even make the Big East Conference Tournament.  After losing to Providence on Saturday, DePaul has dropped to 1-5 in Big East play and 8-9 overall.  With the toughest games of the season remaining on their schedule (i.e. Georgetown, Villanova, at St. John’s, at Louisville, and Syracuse) the Blue Demons are pretty much out of it when it comes to any type of postseason play.  DePaul freshman forward Wilson Chandler looks like a stud, but the team is at least a year away from making the NCAA Tournament.

6) Kobe’s 81 – On the one hand, Kobe Bryant’s 81-point performance on Sunday evening might be the greatest individual performance in a regular season NBA game ever.  It is certainly a whole lot tougher for a perimeter player such as Kobe to drop that many points compared to a big man like Wilt Chamberlain (whose size compared to the rest of the league was even more of a factor in the NBA of the ’60s).

On the other hand, Kobe’s career seems to be the inverse of Michael Jordan’s and that’s a very bad thing for the Lakers.  The highest individual numbers for Jordan came in the first few seasons of his career – it wasn’t until he figured out that he needed to get the rest of his team involved that he started to win championships.  Kobe found great success as a team player at the beginning of his career in winning three rings with the Lakers.  Now, as Kobe gets older, he seems to be taking more shots and getting higher individual marks even though his team gets worse.

So, as amazing as Kobe’s non-Wilt record 81-point game was last night, the trajectory of his basketball career is headed in the completely wrong direction.

Beard Bowl XL

On By Frank the TankIn NFL Football, Sports3 Comments

I usually get a steady stream of people on my site who are searching for information on “Frank the Tank.”  This past week, however, the top search engine terms that sent visitors to Frank the Tank’s Slant were all variations of “Jake Plummer + beard + hair.”  Best ones so far: “beard battle jake plummer vs ben roethlisberger,” “jake the snake plummer needs a haircut,” and “JAKE PLUMMER HAS A CAMARO” (it should be noted that the caps were not added by me for emphasis).

Clearly, America has found the real storyline to the conference championship weekend: the playoff beard showdown between Jake the Snake and Big Ben.  On this front, I’ve got to give the edge to Plummer – as I said earlier this week, he looks like a cross between Jesus and the Unabomber.  Roethlisberger has an impressive beard, but Jake the Snake takes the cake with his simultaneous disregard for the hair on his head, as well.

As for the games on the field, though, here are my picks against the spread and in no particular order (home team in CAPS):

1) AFC Championship: Pittsburgh Steelers (+3) over DENVER BRONCOS – The dominance of Jake Plummer’s beard won’t be enough to propel the Broncos to victory on Sunday.  The two things I look at before analyzing a game are the defenses and the quarterbacks.  If a team has both the edge on defense and at the quarterback position, I’d be hardpressed to pick against that team.  In this case, the Steelers have a top tier defense that shut down one of the best offensive units in NFL history in the Colts last week and on the road, no less.  The Broncos have a good defense, but they aren’t a shutdown-type of unit comparable to Pittsburgh.

At the same time, Big Ben Roethlisberger is the more accurate and efficient passer of the two quarterbacks.  I still don’t believe that Jake Plummer has all of the sudden turned into a steady championship-caliber QB after being one of the most inconsistent passers in the NFL of the past decade.  If Peyton Manning was rattled by the Steelers, Jake the Snake is way overdue for a meltdown.  Since both teams employ similar running philosophies (run-first offenses using multiple running backs), I foresee this game coming down to a mistake by one of the QBs.  My bet’s on Plummer making the mistake rather than Big Ben.  Of course, I said this last week when comparing Tom Brady and Plummer and look what happened.  Still…

Prediction: Steelers 24, Broncos 20

2) NFC Championship: SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (-3 1/2) over Carolina Panthers – This game is all about health.  Carolina running back DeShaun Foster being out with a broken leg is a big deal since it will allow Seattle to put multiple defenders on Steve Smith (which is what the Bears should have done last week) without worrying as much about being burned by the Panthers running game.  At the same time, Panthers defensive end Julius Peppers will be hampered with a shoulder injury.

Matt Hasselback was able to take apart a solid Redskins defense last week after his NFL MVP running back Shaun Alexander got knocked out with a concussion.  Now, Alexander will be back and going up against a Panther defense unit whose best player, Peppers, is wobbly.  Also, remember that the Panthers gave up 21 points to the inept Bears offense before Peppers got injured, which isn’t a good sign.

Prediction: Seahawks 31, Panthers 21

Enjoy the football games and what will be an Illini romp over Northwestern.  Have a great weekend!

Bears Defense is Gross, Man

On By Frank the TankIn Big Ten, Chicago Bears, College Basketball, Illinois Fighting Illini, NFL Football, SportsLeave a comment

No Super Bears Super Bowl this season.  The rock of the Bears, the defensive unit, completely failed the team in yesterday’s 29-21 loss to the Carolina Panthers.  It was tough to watch Jake Delhomme and Steve Smith carve up the NFL’s best defense in front of a rabid crowd in Solider Field.  The Bears defensive frontline couldn’t get any pressure on Delhomme whatsoever, which allowed Steve Smith and the Carolina receiving corps get open against our secondary.

I was actually impressed with the Bears offense during the second half of the game.  Rex Grossman struggled for much of the first half, but it seemed like everything started clicking on the Bears’ last drive in the second quarter that resulted in a touchdown.  It would have been nice if the Bears were able to use the running game a little bit more, but I have no qualms about the use of the pass if we’re able to score 21 points.  When we beat Carolina back in November, we were only able to score 13 points using the Kyle Orton management system.

In a chilling twist of fate, Bears fans have the defense to blame for a loss rather than the lack of offense.  21 points should have been plenty for this defense to pull out a victory.  However, the Bears could not get a single key stop.  They were awful at cracking down on the Panthers on third down.  They were awful in terms of getting to the quarterback.  They were awful in covering Steve Smith and the other Panther receivers (I said on Friday stopping Smith wasn’t as important as halting DeShaun Foster, which goes to show you that I’m an idiot).  They were awful in stopping the Carolina running game when it mattered.  Charles “Peanut” Tillman will get a lot of flack for the times he got burned by Steve Smith yesterday, but the entire defensive unit is to blame for the Bears getting eliminated.  The way Carolina converted seemingly every crucial third down play into a first down was pathetic.

This is sad because the NFC was for the Bears’ taking this season.  I doubt they would have done anything against any of the AFC playoff teams in a hypothetical Super Bowl matchup, yet the Panthers and Seahawks were certainly beatable on the NFC side of the bracket.  So, we’ll just have to hope that the Bears continue the upward trajectory next year.  Unlike the 2001 Bears playoff team that was loaded with veterans and subsequently fell off the table in 2002, the current Bears are young and are in better position to string together several winning seasons.  There are a number of changes that we need to make (believe me, I’ll be putting up my thoughts on how the Bears should attack this offseason very soon), but I feel okay about heading into next year.  It certainly helps that all three of the Bears’ NFC North competitors will have new coaches and rebuilding next season, so we’ll at least be the favorite in the division in the short term.

Of course, division championships don’t mean that much to us Bears fans.  We want another Super Bowl victory, and the only way that’s going to happen is if we get great production from both sides of the ball.  It’s unfortunate that yesterday, the defense that we thought we could count on didn’t leave up to its end of the bargain.

Other Weekend Sports Tidbits

Not only did the Bears lose, but I also picked every NFL playoff game incorrectly this weekend.  I’m not sure why I usually put together great fantasy football teams yet this NFL season has been terrible on the prognostication front (in contrast to my mad college football picking skillz).  This is disconcerting since I probably watch more pro football than any other sport – more evidence that I’m an idiot.  The past weekend was a rare instance where I would have done better against the spread (I thought the Steelers would beat the spread but lose straight up).  Anyway, here’s the weekend in review:

1) The Bus With No Brakes – At least the Steelers-Colts game prior to the Bears tilt on Sunday was incredible.  Bill Cowher deserves a lot of credit for letting Ben Roethlisberger loose from the get go.  Everyone was anticipating Pittsburgh to use their standard pound-the-ground attack, but Big Ben came out firing passes to Heinz Ward and Antwaan Randle-El in the first quarter.  Meanwhile, the Steelers defense was able to hold the Colts all-world offense completely down for the first half, which no one has been able to do at all this year.  The rust on Peyton Manning and the rest of the Indianapolis team certainly showed in this game.  By the time the Colts charged back in the fourth quarter (with some big-time help from the officials), it was almost too late.  But then, Jerome “The Bus” Bettis, while trying to run out the clock for the Steelers, fumbled the ball back to Indy in what could have been a sports blunder on par with Bill Buckner if not for a game saving tackle by Big Ben.  The Colts got into position for a certain Mike Vanderjagt field goal to take the game to overtime, but the “idiot kicker” pushed the ball way wide right to instead give us a Scott Norwood-type moment.  A ridiculous finish to an incredible game!  As I said on Friday, I was torn on this game and thought that everyone underestimated the Steelers, but I still believed Indianapolis would pull it out in the end.  Instead, Pittsburgh became the first #6 seed to beat a #1 seed in the NFL playoffs and Peyton Manning is going to continue to get whispers behind his back on how he can’t win the big one.

2) Plummer Pummels Patriots – Well, I was right about not believing the Colts would make the Super Bowl, but I’ll eat crow for saying about 15 times over the past month that the Patriots would be the AFC champions.  I honestly can’t believe how many mistakes the Patriots made (few NFL teams can overcome 5 turnovers).  It’s doubly unfathomable to me that Jake Plummer, looking like a cross between Jesus and the Unabomber with that haircut and beard, didn’t melt down with the exception of one interception.  The sheer field position that was handed over to the Broncos by the Patriots – New England had nearly 140 more total yards than Denver but lost by two touchdowns – cemented the deal here.  I really feel this game was a fluke on par with a low-seeded mid-major upsetting a power program in the NCAA Tournament; if this game were played ten times, I’m positive the Patriots would win nine of those times.  Alas, this was the one instance where Denver got the benefit of all the bounces.  This makes me believe the Broncos are getting killed next week against the Steelers despite the home-field advantage.

3) Hasselback Mountain – The Shaun Alexander concussion for a few moments seemed like the cursed Seahawks’ answer to the Bengals’ Carson Palmer injury (kind of like how Grady Little left in Pedro Martinez about 500 pitches too long so that the Red Sox could keep pace with the Cubs and Steve Bartman in 2003).  However, Matt Hasselback was incredible in overcoming the loss of the NFL Offensive Player of the Year and deftly led Seattle to a solid victory over a pretty good Redskins defense.  As I said on Friday, my head was saying the Seahawks would win while my gut was going with the Redskins – I trusted my gut, which makes me an idiot today.  At this point, I’ve got to rank Hasselback as the best quarterback left in the playoffs (Big Ben Roethlisberger and Jake Delhomme have got skills, but Hasselback is the most polished).  The early feeling here is that the Seahawks are going to the Super Bowl, though I might change my mind by the end of the week.

4) Illini Muck Up Fichigan – The Illini pulled out a close victory over Michigan on Saturday with our seniors Dee Brown and James Augustine carrying the load (by the way, what’s up with the Big Ten scheduling the Illinois-Michigan game, last week’s Michigan State-Wisconsin matchup and yesterday’s double-overtime Michigan State-Ohio State battle in the same time slots as the NFL Playoffs?  Not very cool for this NFL/Big Ten nut).  The second half play for Illinois, however, was suspect and we were fortunate to overcome our foul troubles.  The early conference schedule doesn’t let up for the Illini – next up is a Super Tuesday game at Indiana.  Brian Randle and Shaun Pruitt can’t be playing with 4 fouls in the second half or else Marco Killingsworth is going to run all over us.  Still, I’m comfortable with our chances as long as Mike Davis is patrolling the Hoosier sidelines.

Anyway, I’m now going to crawl into a hole for the next couple of days and emerge with a Jake Plummer beard to wallow in my Bears misery.  At least the Packers still suck.

Dr. Z, You Damned Dirty Ape!

On By Frank the TankIn Chicago Bears, NFL Football, Sports4 Comments

The last piece of the 2005-06 Frank the Tank Trifecta is almost in place – the Illini Final Four, the White Sox World Series, and now, just two victories to a Super Bears Super Bowl.  So, enough with Dr. Z’s preseason predictions (Bears ranked #32 out of 32?  Oops!).  I’ve been waiting for this weekend for four years!  Here are my NFL divisional playoff picks in order of confidence but not against the spread (home teams in CAPS):

1) New England Patriots over DENVER BRONCOS – I’ll repeat what I said on Monday: if you had to bet your life savings on either a team led by Tom Brady or a club commanded by Jake “The Snake” Plummer, who would you pick?  This is pretty easy.

2) CHICAGO BEARS over Carolina Panthers – How could this Super Fan put Da Bears at #2 in the confidence rankings?  We still have a QB that has played in 1 ½ games this season and has never been in the playoffs – that’s not cool considering how Carolina battered Eli Manning last week.  However, the Chicago Bears defense is rested, healthy, and ready to attack.  The Bears don’t need to stop Steve Smith (who had 169 receiving yards on November 20th against us) as much as they need to halt DeShaun Foster and the Panthers’ running game.  This is going to be a close game, but I believe the Bears will dominate on defense and create just enough offense (and, most importantly, avoid turnovers) to advance to the NFC Championship Game.

3) INDIANAPOLIS COLTS over Pittsburgh Steelers – The Colts are going to pull this one out only because they can take advantage of the carpet at the RCA/Hoosier/firemikedavis.com Dome.  The current 9 ½-point spread in favor of Indy is way too large; they’ll win but the Steelers will cover.  As I alluded to on Monday, I believe that the Pittsburgh power running game is going to give the speed-oriented Colts defense fits for most of the game.  However, in a flip-flop of the Bears’ situation, the Colts will probably make just enough stops on the defensive side of the ball to allow their offense to win this game in the end.

4) Washington Redskins over SEATTLE SEAHAWKS – This one really defies any logic.  On the Seattle side, Shaun Alexander is the NFL Offensive Player of the Year, Matt Hasselback is an accomplished quarterback with playoff experience, and Mike Holmgren is one of only a handful of coaches that has a postseason pedigree that can compete with Joe Gibbs.  The Redskins also were fortunate come out with a win last week after an abysmal game on offense.  Not surprisingly, the Seahawks are huge 9-point favorites.  However, I just have a gut feeling on this one.  I feel like Clinton Portis is going to be able to run well against the Seahawks defense, and when the Redskins are able to run the ball, they can beat anyone.  Plus, even though I’d like to see the Bears punish Mike Holmgren for all of the pain he inflicted on us as the Packers coach in 1990s, the first two times I was ever scarred as a sports fan in my life were when I witnessed, as a young child, the Redskins come into Solider Field and stun the Bears in consecutive playoff games in 1986 and 1987 (the latter of which was Walter Payton’s last game).  It’s time for the Bears to avenge the first sports scars of Frank the Tank, so it’s going to be Chicago vs. Washington for the NFC Championship next week.

Have a great weekend, Go Illini, Muck Fichigan, and GO BEARS!

Ugly Illini and Other Weekend Sports Tidbits

On By Frank the TankIn Big Ten, College Basketball, NFL Football, Sports1 Comment

The DePaul post was a long time coming and, as a result, long-winded, so here are my other thoughts from the weekend in sports in a separate section:

1) Got Offense? Not These Illini – The side benefit from attending the DePaul-Notre Dame game on Saturday was that my TV was spared from random objects being punched through the screen since I couldn’t watch the Illinois-Iowa game.  Whether we can have consistent offensive output when Dee Brown isn’t playing well is a major concern.  However, I must say that this had all the trappings of a trap game for the Illini.  We just came off an emotional and huge win against highly ranked Michigan State and were going on the road to face a pretty good team that was a lot more pumped-up to play us than we were to play them.  I’m confident Bruce Weber will right the ship in time for next Saturday’s game against (Muck) Fichigan.

2) Wisky’s Back, Tell a Friend – Every year, college basketball prognosticators talk about how many starters Wisconsin lost and that the Badgers will be going through a rebuilding phase.  And then every year, Wisconsin spanks everyone who comes into the Kohl Center and they end up as one of the top two or three teams in the Big Ten.  So, the Badger beating of the Spartans on Sunday shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone.  Honestly, I’ve got to give Wisky coach Bo Ryan mad props – I can’t think of another coach in the country who has such a finely tuned system where he can drop in 4 new starters who were barely All-Wisconsin out of high school much less McDonald’s All-Americans and continue to contend for the Big Ten title.  Wisconsin has a great coach and a great program.

3) NFC Wild Card Weekend – I was really hoping that the Bears would draw Tampa Bay for next weekend’s second round match-up, but the Redskins were able to take advantage of the enigma known as Chris Simms first.  How else could Washington have possibly won with 120 total yards of offense (pencil in a Seattle victory next week)?  So, the Bears are getting a rematch with a Carolina team that currently has an offense that’s humming.  Plus, the Panther defense smothered the Giants’ Eli Manning, who is a seasoned veteran at QB compared to Rex Grossman (there are few things more satisfying in sports than watching New Yorkers boo their own team for 3 quarters – it was like watching a Knicks game).  Still, we killed this team back in November and we’re going to have a completely healthy defense with Mike Brown back in the fold.  I love our chances to advance in the playoffs for the first time since Da Coach was at the helm.  I’m seriously giddy!

4) AFC Wild Card Weekend – As I stated three weeks ago, the Patriots are the team to beat in the AFC.  I don’t care if next week’s game is in the thin air of Denver; if you had to bet your life savings on a team, are you going to take a club led by Tom Brady or one commanded by Jake Plummer?  Exactly.  On the other side of the bracket, it was a shame that Carson Palmer’s injury killed Cincinnati against the Steelers on Sunday, but I was silently hoping that Jon Kitna would somehow also get knocked out so I could once again see Craig Krenzel in an NFL game without a Bears uniform.  I’m up in the air on the Colts-Steelers game next week (I think the power running game of Pittsburgh can really take control of the tempo on the speed-oriented Indy defense), although it ultimately won’t matter since I’m sticking by my prediction three weeks ago that the Pats will be the AFC Super Bowl rep again.

5) Bulls Out of Funk – The Bulls finally came back this weekend with a 2-game winning streak, although Sam Smith from the Tribune is preaching to the choir here when he says we have too many guards and should trade one of them, preferably Chris Duhon as opposed to the more oft-mentioned Ben Gordon, for a big man.

Taking the Brown Line to Victory

On By Frank the TankIn Big Ten, College Basketball, NFL Football, SportsLeave a comment

My first substantive post on this blog  – “The Paranoia of Illini Nation” – was about how we Illini fans have been too sensitive about the “lack of respect” our team gets from the national media.  However, I’ve got to backtrack a little bit from that comment when it comes to Dee Brown.

How is it possible that there’s been absolutely no buzz from across the country for Dee as National Player of the Year?  Check out the latest mid-season predictions from the ESPN.com crew.  It’s one thing to be skeptical about our Final Four chances this season (although last night’s victory should put to the rest the claim that we haven’t beaten anyone yet), but it’s something different when last year’s Sporting News Player of the Year isn’t even considered an All-American by 6 out of 8 “experts,” much less this year’s player of the year.

All of the discussion has centered around the battle between Duke’s J.J. Reddick and Gonzaga’s Ugly Mustache Known as Adam Morrison.  It’s incredulous to me, however, that a guy who was named national player of the year by one organization last season and has led his team to a 15-0 start this season despite losing 3 key teammates as starters isn’t even mentioned as a possible candidate.  Maybe a few more 34-point games like last night will get Dickie V and Company to notice Dee again.

Speaking of the Illinois win over Michigan State, this looked more like an extension of the Big Ten football season than the start of conference basketball play with the exception of Dee’s ridiculous shooting performance (check out Rick Morrissey’s column on Dee and last night’s game in today’s Chicago Tribune).  The Illini continued their dominance on the defensive side of the ball – MSU’s Maurice Alger couldn’t get anything going whatsoever.  We just need to get James Augustine to stop traveling every other time he gets a feed into the post.

All in all, this was the first “marquee” victory for the Illini this year and sets the team up for yet another run at the Big Ten title.  As for Dee’s game, it could be summed up with Tom to the Izzo’s answer to Erin Andrews’ halftime question on what plan he had to stop the Illini point guard: “Recruit Michael Jordan.”

Some other sports tidbits:

1) NFL Wild Card Picks – If there’s one thing that keeps me from having a holiday hangover every year, it’s the fact that the NFL playoffs go on for the month afterwards.  With the bonus of the Bears actually participating this year, I can hardly contain myself.  So, here are my Wild Card picks in order of confidence but not against the spread (home team in CAPS): (1) NEW ENGLAND over Jacksonville, (2) Pittsburgh over CINCINNATI, (3) TAMPA BAY over Washington, (4) Carolina over N.Y. GIANTS.

2) TNT’s NBA Studio Team – Even if you’re not a big follower of the NBA, do yourself a favor and check out the halftime and postgame shows for TNT’s NBA games on Thursday nights.  Ernie Johnson, Charles Barkley, and Kenny Smith, without question, give TNT the best combination of insightful analysis spiced with entertainment (it’s important that it’s not the other way around) of any studio team of any sport on any network.

3) S.O.B(ulls) – Speaking of the NBA, the Bulls seriously need to win tonight.  It’s getting Blackhawks-ugly right now for the Scott Skiles crew.

4) Dancing with the Stars – OK, this isn’t a sport, but the competition is inexplicably compelling to me (Evander Holyfield was awesome last year).  Since I switched over to the Illini – MSU game halfway through, my only comment is this: if Nick Lachey is riding shotgun on his soon-to-be-ex-wife Jessica Simpson’s ride to superstardom and Ashlee Simpson is in the backseat, then Nick’s brother Drew has got to be in the trunk.

I won’t be able to see tomorrow’s Illinois – Iowa game live since I’ll be attending DePaul’s inaugural Big East home game against Catholic school rival Notre Dame (floor seats!), but I’ll be keeping track.  Enjoy the NFL, go Bulls, go Illini, and go Blue Demons!

The Tice is Right

On By Frank the TankIn Big Ten, Chicago Bulls, College Football, NBA Basketball, NFL FootballLeave a comment

The Bears did their part in trying to save Mike Tice’s coaching job in Minnesota this weekend by working Brad Maynard into the QB rotation.  I was hoping that the late season surge and one more win by the Vikings would treat us to another season of Tice in all of his glorious idiocy.  Alas, it was not to be.  The players hadn’t even finished showering after the game by the time Vikings management axed Tice on Sunday.  All of the NFC North outside of Minnesota will dearly miss the hodge podge of putrid defense, ticket scalping, sex cruises, and underachieving teams.  I challenge anyone to find a more horrific yet unintentionally hilarious coach in the history of the NFL.

Meanwhile, I’m feeling really good about the Bears’ chances to advance in the playoffs and it’s hard to fully justify.  We’re being led by a QB who has played in 1 1/2 games this season.  The performance in Green Bay on Christmas Day wasn’t exactly dominating.  Yet when our team is heading into the playoffs with the best defensive unit in the NFL (the stats may say the Bucs finished ahead of the Bears, but that’s the product of the scrubs’ play in week 17), I’ve got to feel pretty good.  We’re going to be subjected to another month of talk about the ridiculous offensive output of the Colts and Seahawks, but once again, people are going to smoke the peace pipe of high scoring teams and forget that defense wins championships.  At this point, I really like the historical symmetry of the Bears and Patriots meeting in the Super Bowl once again 20 years after the great culmination to the 1985 Bears season.  If that happens, people are going to question whether I made a deal with the devil after the Illini made the Final Four and the White Sox won the World Series in a one-year timespan.

Other New Year’s Weekend Sports Tidbits:

1) You Can’t Teach (the Bulls) Height – The Bulls’ losing streak hit 7 games last night and it’s apparent that the team’s great depth at the guard and small forward positions cannot compensate for their sheer lack of size in the frontcourt.  John Paxson shouldn’t be blamed for the Eddy Curry fiasco this past summer, but it would have been nice if someone like new Bucks center Jamaal Magloire (who smacked the Bulls for 14 points last night) was in a Bulls uniform as a replacement.  Unless the Bulls get some size by the trade deadline, I don’t think we’re making the playoffs this season.

2) Troy’s Conquest – I predicted in my BCS bowl picks last week that Ohio State would easily cover the spread against Notre Dame in the Fiesta Bowl, but I thought it would be because of the Buckeye defense.  Instead, OSU QB Troy Smith threw for more big passing plays in a single game than Woody Hayes called for in his entire coaching career while rolling over the overrated Irish.  Kudos to Buckeye coach Jim Tressel for turning a classic grind-it-out Big Ten running team into an explosive offense in the hands of Smith.  With the junior QB likely returning, we might be watching Ohio State go for national championships in both football and basketball next year.  (On a side note, doesn’t Brady Quinn’s sister/A.J. Hawk’s girlfriend bear a spooky resemblance to Steven Tyler?  Lady looks like a dude!)

Coming soon: recaps of the Rose Bowl and the huge Illinois – Michigan State Big Ten opener, plus some long overdue posts on politics and the baseball hot stove league.  Until then, happy back to work day!

Rex in Effect

On By Frank the TankIn Big East, Big Ten, Chicago Bulls, College Basketball, DePaul Blue Demons, Illinois Fighting Illini, NBA Basketball, NFL Football, Sports2 Comments

Well, there’s no longer a quarterback controversy in Chicago.  The Bears mauled the Frozen Dirty Birds 16-3 at Soldier Field last night as Kyle Orton got yanked for Rex Grossman in the second half.  Like a cowboy gunslinging back into town (by cowboy, I mean the Clint Eastwood-type as opposed to the Jake Gyllenhaal-type), Grossman’s return to action showed the potential of the Bears having some semblance of a passing game.  Kudos to Lovie Smith and Ron Turner for calling the long pass play from Grossman to Mushin Muhammad right out of the gate – the bold move to change the QB midstream would not have meant anything if wasn’t backed up with aggressive play-calling.  Of course, Grossman still had to channel the spirit of A.J. Pierzynski after throwing a goal line pick that was fumbled right back by the Falcons on the same play.  The Bears offense did look like it changed attitudes after the QB change, but as excited as I am with these developments, this was only one half of a football game and Grossman still threw a pretty bad interception.  We should hold off drinking the Kool-Aid of how great this offense is going to be for the rest of the season and postseason.  Let’s just call it a positive step for now.

For all of the headlines Rex is receiving in today’s papers (Rick Morrissey, Mike Downey, and Jay Mariotti are all predictably gushing), the Bears defense once again won the game last night in what was probably their best performance of the season to date.  In addition to 2 interceptions, they held Michael Vick to 122 yards passing, 35 yards rushing, and, most amazingly, ZERO “Are you kidding me?!” calls from Mike Patrick.  When the average NFL QB, much less Vick, receives about 5 “Are you kidding me?!” calls from Mike Patrick for routine passing plays on any given Sunday night game and your defense holds the opposing QB to zero, that defense has done its job not only for your team but also the ears of every ESPN viewer in the country.

We should also take a moment to reflect on Kyle Orton since it seems that a lot of Bears fans are just piling on him right now.  This guy was drafted in the 4th round this year with the intent of him being #3 on the Bears depth chart.  After Rex broke his ankle in the preseason and the Bears finally figured out that Chad Hutchinson is a much better surfer than passer, the team, without any other viable alternative, threw Orton in there.

At the beginning of the year, most sane Bears fans thought we would be lucky to do a repeat of the 5-11 record from the 2004 season with a rookie QB at the helm.  Instead, we’re now looking at the Bears possibly clinching the NFC North division title on Christmas Day against, of all teams, the Packers on the Frozen Tundra (I can’t tell you how beautiful that sounds).  While Orton may never be a player that an NFL team could build an offense around, he largely has played mistake-free football for 13 weeks, which can’t be said of guys like Brett Favre.  Let’s all thank him for making a huge contribution for what’s been an incredible season so far.

Other Weekend Sports Tidbits:

1) The Vikings Not Currently Incarcerated Finally Lose – The Steelers continued their romp through the NFC North by pasting the Vikings in the Hump Dome.  This thankfully gives the Bears a 2-game cushion in the division with 2 games to go.  At the same time, the Vikings’ inexplicable 6-game winning streak before yesterday practically guarantees us to see another year of the coaching train wreck formerly known as Mike Tice.  Man, this season has gone so well for the Bears on so many levels.

2) Don’t Be Fooled Again: Pats Will Win the AFC – After witnessing the Patriots’ deconstruction of the Bucs on Saturday, I became convinced that New England is heading to the Super Bowl yet again (and this was before the Colts’ quest for perfection was stomped out by San Diego).  I don’t care how the Colts spanked the Pats in Foxboro a few Monday nights ago or if the AFC Championship will be played on the carpet of the RCA/Hoosier/firemikedavis.com Dome – Bill Belicheck has adjusted his defense to compensate for that unit’s rash of injuries and the offense is humming along.  I’m calling it right now – the Patriots will beat the Colts in the playoffs.

3) Illini Sloppily Roll Over the City of Coppin (State) – From all accounts I’ve seen of this game, the 19-point margin of victory by the Illini last night over Coppin State was illusory.  16 turnovers and trouble against yet another zone defense doesn’t sound very pleasing.  Maybe our guys were, uh, a little groggy from studying for finals all week.  Still, for all of the game-to-game inconsistencies in terms of quality of play, the Illini continue to be extremely consistent in grabbing victories by pushing their record to 11-0 and have vaulted to #6 in the latest AP and Coaches’ Polls.

4) Ol’ Dirty Wants DePaul’s Money – Jeez, any complaints about the inconsistency of the Illini are quashed by the bipolar performances of DePaul.  Literally moments after a triumphant upset of #16 Wake Forest in Winston-Salem, the Blue Demons suffered the worst defeat in their program’s entire history on Saturday in a road game against Colonial Athletic Association power Ol’ Dirty University.  ODU more than doubled up on DePaul in a ridiculous 87-43 game.  I really have no clue on what to expect from the Demons when they get initiated into the Big East in a couple of weeks.

5) Detroit Roadblock Part II and a Coach Dale Whuppin’ – It’s starting to feel like the world prior to 1991 again, when a young Bulls team kept making strides until getting slapped back to Earth by the Detroit Pistons.  The only difference is that the old Bad Boy Pistons teams were dirty and evil thugs (I have never hated nor will I ever hate an athlete more than Bill Laimbeer.  Larry Bird once said “God was disguised as Michael Jordan” when His Airness was on the basketball court.  By that same token, Satan’s Spawn was disguised as Bill Laimbeer) while the current Pistons play brilliant lock-down defense while passing the ball on offense as well as any team in the NBA.  So, it wasn’t a shock that the Bulls were pulverised by the Detroit by 28 points on Friday evening.  Fortunately, Scott Skiles went Norman Dale on the team by running them through a full 2-hour practice right before their Saturday evening game against the Celtics.  Coach Skiles might need to do this more often – the Bulls went out and trounced Boston by 32 points while hitting 14 out of 17 from the 3-point arc.

Anyway, any weekend with victories by the Bears, Illini, and Bulls is a great sports weekend.  I’ll have much more on the Illini following Wednesday night’s Braggin’ Rights Game against Mizzou.  Plus, I’ll reveal the celebrity that Mizzou coach Quin Snyder spookily reminds me of.