Category: NFL Football

Land-o-Links – 10/10/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Big Ten, Chicago Bears, College Football, Illinois Fighting Illini, Land-o-Links, NFL Football, Random Thoughts, Sports2 Comments

Prediction for next Monday Night’s game: Bears 423, Cardinals -7.

On to today’s links:

1) A Message From Chad and Steve (YouTube) – With hundreds of millions of Google stock in his pocket at age 28, it looks like Steve Chen has leapfrogged me as the most successful member of the Class of 2000 from the University of Illinois.

2) Rocky Horror Football Show (Chicago Tribune) – Eric Zorn’s history of the “There’s a Timeout… Where?… On the Field” ritual between the Soldier Field PA announcer and Bears fans. (Question for the Illini faithful out there: didn’t we do this long before 2000 or is my memory colored? Help me out here!)

3) Zook Defends Decision To Go For Two Early (Chicago Sun-Times) – Initially, I thought Florida fans would have eaten even Bill Belichick alive if he were the first Gator coach to follow Steve Spurrier, but now I’m starting to realize why Ron Zook didn’t last very long in Gainesville.

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4) Most Overexposed Celebrities (Forbes) – No surprise at #1 here, although K-Fed can never be too high for my tastes.

5) Steve Irwin Memorial Meast of the Week – Week 5 (Kissing Suzy Kolber) – A fitting honor for our beloved Bears defense.

And finally…

6) IHEARTBACON.COM – I want to eat my computer right now.

(Image from Deadspin)

Drunk Off Bears Kool-Aid and Illini Juice (Plus Other Random Thoughts)

On By Frank the TankIn Big Ten, Chicago White Sox, College Football, Illinois Fighting Illini, Major League Baseball, NBA Basketball, NFL Football, Sports2 Comments

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Alright, I’m excited now. The Bears just mauled the defending NFC Champion Seattle Seahawks on all facets of the game. Rex Grossman is leading a balanced offensive attack brilliantly (with Bernard Berrian turning into a Willie Gault-esque deep threat), while Tommie Harris is blossoming into a star on defense. With the Bears’ next four opponents having only a combined four wins total so far, we’re in excellent shape. I’d still like to have a little more confidence in the running game in the first half, which is going to become more important as the weather starts turning colder, but considering this is pretty much the first time Chicago has had a legitimate passing threat at the quarterback position since the days of Erik Kramer, I’m ecstatic about the offense overall. The most difficult thing for me now is to avoid getting too wrapped up in the Super Bowl Shuffle Redux hype that’s going to blanket the city for the next few months (let’s hope Ricky Manning Jr.’s community service doesn’t include a suspension from the NFL). However, I’ve definitely put the Bears Kool-Aid on ice.

Some other random thoughts:

1) Juice Digs John L. Smith’s Grave – The Bears and Illini winning in the same weekend?! Next thing you know, Screech Powers is going to star in a porno video. Not only did Illinois ruin Michigan State’s homecoming by securing an upset as 25 1/2 point underdogs, but the Illini did it in clutch fashion with Juice Williams leading a charge downfield in with less than three minutes to go in the game to set up the game-winning field goal by Jason Reda. Obviously, there are going to be a lot more growing pains with a freshman quarterback being thrust into Big Ten play, but seeing the potential of what Juice can do is making the future of our program appear a whole lot more positive. (What was up with our team trying to plant a flag on the field after the game, though? That was completely unnecessary and Ron Zook rightly apologized in his postgame press conference.) Needless to say, after the Spartans’ debacles against Notre Dame and Illinois in consecutive weeks, firejohnlsmith.net is extremely fired up. With the next two games on the Illinois schedule being at home against Indiana and Ohio (as opposed to Ohio State), this season could end up looking a whole lot better than what we expected just a week ago.

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2) College Football Potpourri – If all goes according to plan, the Michigan-Ohio State game is going to determine who gets into the national championship game as opposed to “just” a Rose Bowl bid… Troy Smith rules. I still don’t know how the national media got so wrapped up in the Brady Quinn bukkake in the preseason that Smith wasn’t the Heisman Trophy favorite from the get-go. Now they know… After a spanking by Notre Dame (and Darius Walker in particular), Purdue’s defense might very well prove to be the worst in the Big Ten. If the Illini want to make a glorious comeback to vindicate my greenie-induced preseason prediction of the team making a bowl, it’s going to hinge on the Purdue game on November 11th.

3) NFL Football Potpourri – How is it that my one fantasy team that lost Shaun Alexander to the Madden Jinx is taking no prisoners with a perfect record so far, while my other fantasy team with Drew Brees, Edgerrin James, and other solid players is winless? I’ve never had such a dichotomy between my two franchises… When Peyton Manning does what he did against the Jets on Sunday in the playoffs against a top-tier defense, then I’ll take notice of the Colts. Until then, they’re always going to be suspect… As much as the nation might be going through a Terrell Owens hype overload, I’ll admit that I’m extremely excited for T.O.’s return to Philadelphia next week. As someone that has spent more time in Philly than any place other than Chicago since I have so much family that lives there, I’m forecasting a downpour of pill bottles raining onto the Cowboys’ sideline on Sunday. I love Philly fans!

4) Baseball Hangover and Postseason Predictions – You know that feeling where your team has been competitive all year but there’s a sudden point where it’s all over for that team and you lose sight of the fact that the season is still going on? While this happens to Cubs fans every year around the middle of June, the White Sox kept my full attention up until about two weeks ago. Since that time, I’ve been in such a baseball funk that I didn’t realize that the Tigers had blown the AL Central on the last day of the season until last night. The best comparison that I can think of are of the times immediately following Illinois getting eliminated in the NCAA Tournament – I kind of have a hangover for a bit where it’s tough for me to get into the other games. I’ve just about gotten over the malaise where I can watch the baseball playoffs with interest again, so here are my predictions (which you should immediately bet against):

a) AL Division Series: Twins over A’s in 5 (even without Francisco Liriano, Minnesota has the best pitching staff out of the postseason participants and the team has simply been playing out of its mind), Yankees over Tigers in 4 (Detroit has been wheezing for the last couple of months)

b) NL Division Series: Dodgers over Mets in 5 (I’ve been saying all along that the Mets are overrated and with Pedro Martinez being out, they’re bowing out in the first round), Cardinals over Padres (just a gut feeling even though St. Louis has looked awful lately)

c) AL Championship Series – Twins over Yankees in 6 (You can talk about you want about the Yankees’ reincarnation of Murderers’ Row at the plate, but their number one starter is Chien-Ming Wang. Even as a fellow Asian, a 19-game winner with only 76 strikeouts in 218 innings pitched is fool’s gold.)

d) NL Championship Series – Dodgers over Cardinals in 7 (Should turn out to be a great series. There’s some type of magic with L.A. this season.)

e) World Series – Twins over Dodgers in 6 (It doesn’t matter which AL you put into this slot. Whoever comes out of the Junior Circuit side of the bracket is going to smoke the NL champs.)

And finally…

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5) Bull Market Around the Corner – It’s hard to believe, but Bulls training camp has already opened with Ben Wallace at the helm. I just secured tickets to the first meeting of the year between the Bulls and Pistons, so I’m one of the handful of people on Earth ready to get the NBA season started. Let’s just hope our Big Ben sinks just a few more free throws this season.

(Images from Chicago Tribune, Chicago Tribune, and Chicago Tribune again)

I Doubted the Madden Jinx and Got Punk’d (Plus Other Random Thoughts)

On By Frank the TankIn Big Ten, Chicago Bears, College Football, Illinois Fighting Illini, NFL Football, Random Thoughts, Sports6 Comments

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I’ve tried to avoid much fantasy sports talk on this blog, but I need to vent here. I heard all of the calls prior to the season about the Madden Jinx and that I should avoid drafting Shaun Alexander for my fantasy football team. However, I’m way too left-brained to believe in such theories, so I ignored all of such talk and grabbed the Seahawks running back when I got the number three pick in one of my drafts (although I would have taken my main man LaDainian Tomlinson if he had been available). Needless to say, we’re not even a month into the season and Shaun Alexander went ahead and broke his foot, meaning that he will be out indefinitely. With the long list of marquee players (compiled nicely by the SportsColumn Blog) either having injuries or numbers drop off drastically immediately after being on the cover of Madden, I’m now a full believer in the jinx. Some other random thoughts:

1) Bears Escape the Hump Dome – Without Tommie Harris, the Bears would have lost Sunday’s game against the Vikings. That being said, Rex Grossman showed that he could rebound from a Favre-esque aggressive mistake with a clutch play at the end. At the same time, it was jarring to no longer see Mike Tice prowl the sidelines in Minnesota after he was hired away in a bidding war by Isiah Thomas to be an assistant coach with the Knicks.

2) Juice Needs Some More Fermenting – Ron Zook finally decided to start Juice Williams at quarterback on Saturday for the Illini, which resulted in the freshman not completing his first 450 passes of the game. I’ve come to the point where I was actually ecstatic when the game was still scoreless near the end of first half for Illinois (although Iowa promptly scoring three touchdowns in the last five minutes of the second quarter snapped me out of my semi-joy). What kind of crack/smack/crank hybrid was I smoking when I said the Illini were going to make a bowl this season?! I’m sure all of you have learned by now to never take me seriously on anything.

3) Sparty Crying in His Irish Coffee – I’ve watched countless Bears and Illini games in my lifetime, which means that I’m a certified expert in pathetic football performances. Therefore, I can unequivocally tell you that Michigan State played the worst fourth quarter I have ever seen in my life against Notre Dame on Saturday. I don’t think anyone watching that game on Saturday thought there was any way that the Irish would come back against the Spartans. In fact, the Chicago Tribune that arrived on my doorstep on Sunday morning, which was published before the game ended, had headlines and a page-long article proclaiming MSU’s dominance along with ripping the lackluster performance of Notre Dame. With the new college rules in place that make the clock run faster than even the NFL and the way that Michigan State was running the ball, even the worst coach could avoid giving up three touchdowns in the final quarter, right? Well, the flurry of turnovers, botched play calls, and the continued insistence of the Spartans to run the option even though they kept getting stuffed as opposed to using their 260-pound running back to pound the ball downhill (it should be noted that ABC announcer and former Notre Dame coach Bob Davie said on multiple occasions that MSU ought to keep using the option to keep the Irish off-balance, which is empirical evidence of why he is no longer coaching anywhere). Congratulations, Michigan State – your 2006 team picture is now next to the definition of “fugly” in the dictionary. I’m not even a Spartan fan and I was mortified by that performance, so you can only imagine how the Enlightened Spartan feels. I think I just saw John L. Smith’s head roll by my desk.

A post-mortem on the disappointing White Sox season will come at some point. Until then, enjoy your Tuesday!

(Image from Wikipedia)

Random Predictions and Land-o-Links for 9/22/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Big Ten, Chicago White Sox, College Football, Illinois Fighting Illini, Land-o-Links, Major League Baseball, NFL Football, Random Thoughts, SportsLeave a comment

Predictions for the day: Bears over the Vikings on Sunday, Iowa continues my Illinois misery, Michigan State over Notre Dame in a close one, Alex will hook up with Dr. Addison Shepherd on Grey’s Anatomy within the next few episodes (I’ve been convinced of this since the middle of last season), and an angry Tiger Woods will avenge his wife’s honor to lead the U.S. to victory in the Ryder Cup. On to today’s links…

1) The Links of Death (Fleece the Pig, Flog the Pony) – A comprehensive around-the-web roundup on the death of the Chicago White Sox, including a reference to yours truly.

2) Star Wars Lego Orchestra (Linda) – An animated Stormtrooper Lego orchestra performs the Imperial March with Darth Vader as the conductor. ‘Nuff said.

3) ‘Spaceballs’ to Become TV Cartoon (CNN.com) (from Kenny) – Tangentially, I’m really hoping that Pizza the Hut is going to be resurrected.

4) Tribune to Consider Sale of Some Media Assets (New York Times) – For the Cubs fans out there that have been craving for new ownership, it might be around the corner.

5) My Dreams Aren’t All Wet (Chronically Insane) – Despite the classy title of this post, this all has to do with the popularity of soccer in the United States. Meanwhile, the Wall Street Journal reported today that Zidane’s World Cup head butt has made him a bigger endorsement commodity than ever.

6) Chief Update Plus the QB Decision (Illinitalk) – I completely agree that it’s time for the Illini to free the Juice.

7) Oh, I’ve Had Those Days (Minneapolis Red Sox) – Heh…

And finally…

8) Toasting Benefits of Social Drinking (Los Angeles Times) – A scientific study shows that drinkers make more money than non-drinkers. Taking into account all of my previous “studying” in college and law school, I should soon be a billionaire.

Have a great weekend and HOORAY BEARS!

You Can’t Spell NBC Without Howie Mandel and Land-o-Links for 9/19/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Chicago White Sox, Land-o-Links, Major League Baseball, NBA Basketball, NFL Football, Random Thoughts, SportsLeave a comment

I’m positive that the contestants on Deal or No Deal are culled from the people that failed the Wheel of Fortune pretests. There also should be a VIP lounge in hell strictly for the “friends and family” that continue to shout “No Deal!” when the contestant, who almost always has some type of huge debt due to medical problems/school loans/lost job/etc., could end up with a six-figure check if he or she would just walk away but invariably opens up one case too many. Anyway, some random links for your Tuesday:

1) Requiem for a Season (Ron Karkovice Fan Club) – This was written even before Magglio Ordonez slammed the White Sox last night to put us on life support. It turns out that Mags and Big Frank Thomas were out for blood money the past few days. Let’s move on before I go postal on something somewhere…

2) Time to Move the Mississippi, Experts Say (New York Times) – Engineers are examining ways to divert the Mississippi River to spill out into the Gulf Coast farther north. Next, after going through the process on how the Chicago River is turned green on St. Patrick’s Day, they’ll tackle the age-old problem of trying to make it look blue for the rest of the year. (Thank you, I’ll be here all week.)

3) No-Show Kemp Blows Chance With Bulls (Chicago Tribune) – In 2016, the first 30 picks of the NBA Draft will all be children of Shawn Kemp.

4) Hip-Hop Lovers in Britain Have More Sex According to Survey (AllHipHop.com) – If you need any more proof that country music sucks, I don’t know what to tell you.

5) Rose’s Decision to Sign Confession Balls… Brilliant (ESPN.com) – The scumbag makes the news again with another money-making scheme. One argument that I hear a lot that I can’t stand: if Pete Rose confesses to gambling on baseball, he ought to be forgiven and let into the Hall of Fame. This doesn’t make sense whatsoever. If gambling is the “death penalty” offense for baseball, confessing to committing the offense is essentially proof of such offense, which thereby means that baseball has no choice but to apply the corresponding penalty. The “Rose didn’t use steroids like Bonds, McGwire, or Sosa” argument doesn’t do anything for me, either. The number one reason why I love watching sports is that, unlike the majority of television shows, movies, and other forms of entertainment, the outcome of every game is unpredictable and not predetermined. When people with influence can alter such outcome as a result of gambling, Major League Baseball becomes nothing more than a WWE match with bats and balls. Nothing is worse for sports than the prospect of its players, managers, and coaches gambling on their own games and, therefore, Pete Rose should never even get a sniff of Cooperstown.

And finally…

6) Evolution of Dance (YouTube) – Somehow, this clip is the most-watched video of all-time on YouTube (and it’s not even close – it has twice as many views as the #2 video). The average outtake from The Simpsons or Seinfeld blows thie clip away in terms of overall comedic value, but I do have to make the recommendation to watch this only because the comedian here uses a number of patented Frank the Tank dance moves when U Can’t Touch This starts playing about halfway through. You’ll see what I’m talking about.

Regardless of everything else going on in the world, one thing continues to hold true: Hooray Bears!

All is Right With the World: Bears Smack the Pack

On By Frank the TankIn Big East, Big Ten, Chicago White Sox, College Football, Illinois Fighting Illini, Major League Baseball, NFL Football, Sports3 Comments

Illinois has severely cramped its chances to make it to the Motor City Bowl this year with a craptacular 33-0 drubbing at Rutgers (Rutgers?!) and Ron Zook is talking about employing more of the “rugby punt” as a “secret weapon” (I wish that was a joke). The White Sox pitching staff continues to get shelled in the late innings of ballgames while messing up a golden opportunity to gain some ground with the Twins and Tigers beating up on each other.

So why is it that I woke up this morning feeling more than satisifed with my sports weekend? Well, the Bears completely maimed the Packers, that’s why. After more than a decade of Brett Favre slicing up the Bears defense with his gunslinger mentality, father time has finally caught up to him and Green Bay is paying the price. The Bears defense throttled him so much that he suffered the first shutout in his career.

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What I was really happy about, however, was that for the first time since probably the Erik Kramer “era”, the Bears put together a complete game on both the offensive and defensive sides of the ball. Rex Grossman was sharp and accurate, Mushin Muhammad caught more difficult passes in this game than all of last season, the offense figured out that the tight end and fullback can actually be incorporated into the game plan as opposed to being statues, the running game was solid, the Bernard Berrian touchdown play puts NFL defenses on notice that they can’t stack 11 guys in the box against the Bears anymore, the defensive line ran ramshod over the Green Bay offensive front, the secondary blanketed everyone outside of Favre’s crutch in Donald Driver, Devin Hester has shown that he’s electrifying on special teams (after I ripped on the Bears’ draft this past April, I have to give a ton of credit to Jerry Angelo for that pick), and our kicking and punting games were flawless.

There are a couple of things that the Bears need to improve upon, particularly converting touchdowns in the red zone. However, it’s a huge turning point in that we can go into Lambeau Field again with a sense of confidence and the Favre bogey man has been fully eradicated. The Bears just beat their biggest and most hated rival on the road on opening day with a 26-0 shutout. Life doesn’t get much better than that.

(Image from Chicago Tribune)

Hooray Bears! Frank the Tank’s NFL Preview 2006

On By Frank the TankIn Chicago Bears, NFL Football, SportsLeave a comment

Last week it was the start of college football, while the pro game kicks off tonight. Here’s my preview of the Bears and the rest of the NFL:

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1) Super Bears Super Bowl? Uhhh… – The people of Chicago are in their typical manic depressive mood about the Bears. On the one hand, the team is returning all of their starters from the 2005 NFC North champions, which includes one of the top defenses in football in the past decade. At the same time, the Bears finally have an experienced backup quarterback in Brian Griese just in case Rex Grossman snaps a leg again (better than even odds on that one). As a result, Bears fans are riding high with optimism going into this season.

However, most Bears fans are clairvoyant enough to realize that there aren’t only holes in a historically anemic offense, but the vaunted defense isn’t impenetrable, as well. As I alluded to above, the quarterback situation looks alright with Grossman, Griese, and our champion drinker Kyle Orton. The problem, though, is that those quarterbacks still have little to throw to outside of Mushin Muhammad as of today while having an unsettled situation in the backfield. Is Mark Bradley going to stay healthy enough to become a viable #2 wide receiver? Can the Bears incorporate the tight ends into their passing schemes even though the club didn’t use an opportunity to upgrade at that position through the draft? Will the team ever settle on an appropriate way to use both Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson at running back? Can we bring Matt Suhey out of retirement so that we have a viable fullback again? In the six weeks since the start of training camp, none of these questions on offense have been fully answered.

Meanwhile, the defense isn’t necessarily going to continue on an upward trajectory. The cornerback position is on the uptick with computer nerd beater Rick Manning Jr., but that’s countered by the injury situation with Mike Brown at safety. While Brian Urlacher has the national attention, Nike commercials, and 98 rating on Madden ’07, the performance of the Bears defense really depends upon the presence of Brown more than anyone else. Remember how Steve Smith was more open than the gap between the teeth of Flavor of Love’s Buckwild (if you took every single guest in the history of the Jerry Springer Show and put them into a blender, Buckwild would be the resulting smoothie) against the Bears in the playoffs last season? Well, it just so happened that Mike Brown had to sit out of that game due to injuries. That wasn’t a coincidence at all. If Brown is healthy and able to avoid the injured list, the Bears defense is going to improve upon last season with a stronger secondary. On the other hand, if Mike Brown ends up missing several games, the Bears are going to have a hugely disappointing year on the defensive side of the ball.

I don’t put too much stock in the fact that the Bears supposedly have the weakest schedule in the NFL based upon last year’s records since parity is so rampant in the pro football. However, I do believe that the rest of the NFC North is awful on the field and every single team in that division other than the Bears has a new head coach. This means that, at the very least, the Bears should be able to back into the playoffs even with some holes on offense and defense. How far they can go after that, though, depends upon whether they can answer all of those offensive questions and Mike Brown is healthy. I put the over/under on regular season wins for the Bears at 10.

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2) NFC North Final Standings Prediction – As I said above, the Bears can back into the playoffs with these guys as the prime competition, although Minnesota and Detroit aren’t as bad as advertised. There’s no hope for the Packers. The projected NFC north standings: (1) Chicago Bears, (2) Minnesota Vikings, (3) Detroit Lions, (4) Green Bay Packers.

3) NFC East Final Standings Prediction – ESPN is going to slob the knob of the NFC East as being the best division in the NFL all year long. If you’re smart, you’ll ignore this sentiment and bet heavily against whoever comes out of this division in the playoffs. This division is definitely the most competitive from the standpoint that every team has a chance to finish on top, but that’s due to parity as opposed to quality. With or without Terrell Owens, the Cowboys are still a team where a geriatric Drew Beldsoe is battling for a spot with a quarterback from Eastern Illinois, which is not exactly the mark of a Super Bowl contender. That being said, when it comes to non-Bears games this season, I’m a whole lot more interested in the Dallas-Philadelphia matchups than the overblown “Manning Bowl” coming up on Sunday night. In fact, I think Philly will recapture a little bit of pre-T.O. debacle magic this year and surprise a whole lot of people (even though they shouldn’t be a sleeper considering that they made the Super Bowl two years ago). The projected NFC East standings: (1) Philadelphia Eagles, (2) New York Giants, (3) Dallas Cowboys, (4) Washington Redskins.

4) NFC South Final Standings Prediction – In terms of pure athletes, this division is stacked with Michael Vick, Reggie Bush, and Steve Smith. In terms of teams, there’s only one true Super Bowl contender, which is Carolina. Jon Gruden is due for some success, though, so I foresee a wild card spot for Tampa Bay. The projected NFC South standings: (1) Carolina Panthers, (2) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Wild Card), (3) Atlanta Falcons, (4) New Orleans Saints.

5) NFC West Final Standings Prediction – This division looks like the run-and-shoot west of the 1980s all over again. Seattle, St. Louis, and Arizona are all going to have high octane offensive units. I can’t tell you much about San Francisco other than the Niners still suck and have a really young quarterback at the helm. The Seahawks will continue to be the class of the division while the Rams will bounce back to take the second wild card spot from the fashionable pick of the Cardinals. The projected NFC West standings: (1) Seattle Seahawks, (2) St. Louis Rams (Wild Card), (3) Arizona Cardinals, (4) San Francisco 49ers.

6) AFC North Final Standings Prediction – This division is the real class of the NFL as opposed to the NFC East. Pittsburgh has the returning Super Bowl champs, Cincinnati looks to be back on track with Carson Palmer back in the fold, Baltimore will still have a top tier defense, and Cleveland has some playmakers on both sides of the ball with Willie McGinest and my main man Reuben Droughns (okay, Reuben isn’t exactly as barn burner, but I’ve got him as a #2 running back on one of my fantasy teams, so here’s to hoping). The Steelers and Bengals are locks to make the playoffs out of this division. The projected AFC North standings: (1) Pittsburgh Steelers, (2) Cincinnati Bengals (Wild Card), (3) Cleveland Browns, (4) Baltimore Ravens.

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7) AFC East Final Standings Prediction – I’m going with old reliable here with New England. Miami is going to be an extremely interesting team with Daunte Culpepper in the fold, if only for the fact that a boat party on the Atlantic Ocean off of South Beach has got to be a step up over anything that could possibly be put together on Lake Minnetonka. I’m a believer in the coaching skills of Nick Saban, so I’ll slot the Dolphins as a Wild Card team this season. Feel free to ignore the team from New York and also that one from New Jersey called the Jets. The projected AFC East standings: (1) New England Patriots, (2) Miami Dolphins (Wild Card), (3) Buffalo Bills, (4) New York Jets.

8) AFC South Final Standings Prediction – NFL prognosticators across the world pick Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts to win the Super Bowl before the season starts. Indy blows through the regular season with mind-blowing offensive stats, perpetuating the belief that they are unstoppable. Manning picks apart a subpar defense in the Wild Card round with a numbing number of audibles at the line of scrimmage, cementing the perception that he’s a quarterbacking genius. The Colts then get “stunned” in the next round of the playoffs by a team with a great defense (i.e. Steelers or Patriots), which leads to everyone questioning whether Manning can win the big one. Lather, rinse, repeat. The projected AFC South standings: (1) Indianapolis Colts, (2) Tennessee Titans, (3) Jacksonville Jaguars, (4) Houston Texans.

9) AFC West Final Standings Prediction – On fantasy football draft boards across the nation, a Chiefs running back was the consensus #1 pick. If he wasn’t taken in the first spot, he was almost certainly gone at #2 or #3. The name of that player was Priest Holmes and the year was 2004, which was only two seasons ago. Flash forward to 2006 and we see the current Chiefs running back, Larry Johnson, in the same vaunted position. Maybe it’s just me, but isn’t the whole reason why Johnson rose in value so quickly was because Kansas City employed a platoon at the running back position and the reason why he got so many carries last year was that Holmes got injured? Even with a new head coach in Herman Edwards, is there any reason why the Chiefs wouldn’t go back to a tandem running back corps with a solid runner in Michael Bennett as the #2 guy? LJ is going to score a bunch of touchdowns, but his rushing yards aren’t going to be anywhere near what they were last season. Those that took division rival LaDainian Tomlinson, however, are going to be very happy. Back to real life… The projected AFC West standings: (1) Denver Broncos, (2) Kansas City Chiefs, (3) San Diego Chargers, (4) Oakland Raiders.

10) Super Bowl Prediction – I love my Bears, but I just don’t see a better team than Carolina in the NFC this season. In the AFC, I believe that Tom Brady is out for blood money after that ugly performance against Denver last year. Since the AFC is once again several steps above the NFC in quality… New England Patriots over Carolina Panthers.

And finally…

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11) Remembering Sweetness – When I was a young kid back in the mid-1980s, I owned an NFL Films video called “The NFL’s Greatest Hits”, which was a compilation of bone rattling tackles and hits by defensive players that would be penalized today in the wussy world that bans spears with the helmet and protects the quarterback like a piece of Waterford crystal. In middle of this ode to the great defenders of the day such as Lawrence Taylor and Mike Singletary, however, was a segment on Walter Payton. NFL Films included a special reel of Payton runs where he put his shoulder down and smacked the guys that tried to tackle him back five or ten yards. With apologies to Barry Sanders, that highlight reel epitomized why Walter Payton was and is the greatest football player of all time – never before and never again will you ever see another running back, or for that matter, any offensive player, get canonized on an NFL Greatest Hits video.

I searched all over YouTube for this film but wasn’t able to find it. However, I did come across this awesome Walter Payton montage that will give even the most hardened Packers fan goosebumps – I’ve already watched it ten times. If and when the Bears or whoever your favorite team is fumbles in the red zone or blows some coverage on a mediocre wide receiver this season, think back to this Payton film displaying a man that had the ultimate combination of class, skill, work ethic, and competitiveness. He’s the reason why I fell in love with sports. Rest in peace, Sweetness.

(Images from ImageShack, eBay, Deadspin, and Encarta)

Leinart, Lachey, and Land-o-Links for 8/29/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Big Ten, Chicago Bears, College Football, Illinois Fighting Illini, Land-o-Links, NFL Football, Random Thoughts, Sports3 Comments

I can start thinking about the White Sox again, but I will continue to just ignore what my eyes are telling me about the Bears offense. By the way, regardless of what anyone might have thought of him at USC, Nick Lachey’s wingman Matt Leinart (or maybe it’s the other way around) looked incredible for the Arizona Cardinals while playing against the first team Bears defensive unit on Friday night. I know I’ve said before that the NFL preseason is worthless, yet it’s still pretty impressive when a rookie is able to more than hold his own against one of the league’s supposed top defenses. Of course, how great can the Bears defense be if they can’t stop a rookie, no matter how great he was in college? At least I can take solace in that the Packers look worse than ever. Here are today’s links:

1) Big Ten Preview (Views From Life on a Bench) (from Deadspin) – An entertaining look at the upcoming Big Ten football season, but I was curious as to the hateration for our Illini uniforms. Then, I found out that we are getting new uniforms this season, which include some Miami Hurricanes-style piping for our standard jerseys and then a special orange incarnation (a variety of which has appeared before). Let’s just say that my eyes haven’t burned this badly since K-Fed’s “performance” last week. Look, I love our orange basketball uniforms, but we really need to shelve the monochromatic orange football unis. Teams such as Penn State, Michigan, and Notre Dame are dressed to play football. Our Illini, however, are straight out of a Charlie Brown Halloween special.

2) Watch What You Snap (Chicagoist) – Don’t let the terrorists win. Be alert of those people taking pictures of, uh, Metra trains.

3) Do Not Draft Domanick Davis, People (Deadspin) – I cannot tell you how close I was to drafting Domanick Davis in my first fantasy football draft of the season this past Saturday – it was between him and Reuben Droughns for my #2 running back. On a split second decision, I went with Reuben because, well, that’s a damn fine sandwich. Plus, I’ve had Davis on at least one of my teams for the past two years and he has provided diminishing returns since David Carr’s passer rating has hovered in the low teens (the football equivalent of the Mendoza Line should heretofore be called the “Carr Line”), which gave opposing defenses the opportunity to stack 11 teams in the box against the Texans. Still, until I saw this, I had a little bit of buyer’s remorse since Davis historically has put up decent receiving numbers in addition to his running stats. For once, the fantasy football gods might have thrown me a bone. In the real football world, it’s a good thing for Houston that they took Reggie Bush with the biggest no-brainer #1 draft pick since Peyton Manning. Oh, hold on a second…

4) Web Guitar Wizard Revealed at Last (New York Times) – The identity of funtwo has been uncovered. If you haven’t seen this kid’s technically astounding rock rendition of Pachelbel’s Canon on YouTube, here you go.

5) NBC Expresses Regret for Air-Crash Skit (Washington Post) – The P.C. brigade marches on. By this logic, ABC will need to apologize for airing “Lost” in the first place.

And finally…

6) Hip-Hop Infused Poker Show Coming to Television (AllHipHop.com) – Something tells me that this is going to be a cross between the World Series of Poker and Wilmer Valderrama’s latest MTV vehicle “Yo Momma”, which means that this is a virtual lock to be the greatest program in the history of television.

(UPDATE: Speaking of Matt Leinart, it looks like he’s going to be a daddy.) 

Madden Says Griese and Land-o-Links for 8/25/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Chicago White Sox, Major League Baseball, NFL Football, Random Thoughts, SportsLeave a comment

After going through training camp and the first preseason game on Madden 2007 using the Bears in franchise mode, the computer did a reorganization of the depth chart where there are “position battles” to reflect the performance of the players. So, what sign is the game presenting to me when it yanks Rex Grossman out of the starting quarterback role and replaces him with Brian Griese (despite Rex’s higher player rating)? The game is becoming a little too real for me. On to today’s links:

1) America’s Drunkest Cities (Forbes) – Milwaukee is #1. In other news, the sun also rises in the east. Our fair city of Chicago got a more than respectable #6 ranking, which still blows away places such as Las Vegas, Los Angeles, and Miami.

2) How the Facts Align: Erasing Pluto From Textbooks, Encyclopedias, Etc. (Washington Post) – My Very Educated Mother Just Said Uh-oh No Pluto.

3) Firing on All Cyllinders (Chi-Sox Blog) – Are the White Sox back on track? We don’t have much time to think about it since the Twins are in town starting today.

4) Making Room for the Hopeless Pop Star in Crowd of Professional Amateurs (New York Times) – A defense of the singing skills of Paris Hilton and her spiritual cousin K-Fed (all of my sensory nodes are still burning from the other day)… sort of.

And finally…

5) Case of Missing iPod Comes With Playlist of Issues (Chicago Tribune) – Only in Naperville.

Football vs. Football: Pro or College?

On By Frank the TankIn Big Ten, Chicago Bears, College Football, Illinois Fighting Illini, NFL Football, Sports4 Comments

To me, there’s no question that the college game is superior to the pro game in the basketball world. Even though I enjoy the NBA and believe that, pound for pound, its players are the best athletes in the world, it doesn’t hold a candle to the passion associated with college basketball from the first game of the regular season up until the Final Four.

Comparing college football with pro football, on the other hand, is a much tougher task for me. ESPN.com is currently running a debate on which style of football is better, with Ivan Maisel supporting the college game and Len Pasquerelli championing the NFL. Choosing one over the other is kind of like asking a mother which child is her favorite or whether it was more shocking to find out that Liberace was gay versus Lance Bass – if there’s any answer at all, we’re definitely splitting hairs here. From my personal perspective, the fact that the earliest concrete sports memories that I have are of the 1985 Bears Super Bowl season means that the NFL has the oldest roots of my sports fandom (as well as creating a lifetime of unreasonable expectations for the Bears). On the other hand, as I’ve mentioned previously, since I’ve gone to college, there is now no team that I care about more in any sport at any level than the Illinois Fighting Illini (which has been great for basketball, but not so hot lately for football), meaning that the college game has deeper roots for me.

Obviously, the quality of play is going to be higher in the NFL since the players re paid professionals as opposed to amatuer students, so that’s a given. However, there are a whole host of other factors that are in play here in a best-of-seven format:

1) Watching Teams That You Care About – I don’t care that the Packers are owned by the citizens of Green Bay. If you went to a BCS school, the allegiance to your college program runs deeper than anyone could ever have with a pro team.  As of yesterday on Stubhub.com, the least expensive tickets (where you can buy at least a pair) for the New Year’s Eve game between the Bears and Packers, which is the NFL matchup with the highest demand in one of the most expensive scalping markets in the country, are $175 apiece.  In contrast, the cheapest tickets for the September 9th game between Notre Dame and Penn State in South Bend (and these are among the worst seats in a stadium with nearly 20,000 more seats than Soldier Field) are currently $725 each.  When a regular season college football game can command higher ticket prices than the Super Bowl, you can see who has the most obsessive fans.

EDGE: College Football

2) Watching Teams That You Don’t Care About – While I program the Illini and Bears schedules into my electronic calendar every year, I’m also the type of guy that will end up watching a whole lot more football games that don’t involve my teams at all. On the college side, there are the superior rivalries (see #3 below), where the classic games end up getting names like the “Game of the Century” and are are talked about years later in the manner of the great heavyweight boxing matches involving Muhammad Ali or Joe Louis. However, NFL football has the fantasy football component, which means I suddenly end up having a vested interest in nearly every game on the docket. As Adam Smith would say…

EDGE: NFL Football

3) Rivalries – I’m saying this as someone that prays at the alter of the rivalry between the Bears and the Packers: the NFL has nothing on Michigan vs. Ohio State, Army vs. Navy, Florida vs. Florida State, Texas vs. Texas A&M, Alabama vs. Auburn, and a host of other college rivalries.

EDGE: College Football

4) Postseason – I’m hoping that one of these days, the BCS college presidents will accept my modest proposal for a playoff system that uses the bowls. Until then…

HUGE EDGE BY DEFAULT: NFL Football

5) Television Pregame Shows – On the college side, ESPN has an immensely entertaining pregame show hosted by Chris Fowler, Kirk Herbstreit, and Lee Corso that is on location as part of the tailgate scene at one of the top games of the week.  For the NFL, there is a choice of an extra hour of Joe Buck, the unstoppable yapping of Chris “YWML” Berman, or an Isotoner gloves spokesman.

MONSTER EDGE: College Football

6) Offseason Activities – When the season is over, pro football has the NFL Draft, which I believe is usually more entertaining than the Super Bowl itself.  As for college, there are spring football practices and middle-aged guys with receding hairlines complaining on internet message boards about the school choices of pimply-faced 17-year kids.

EDGE: NFL Football

7) Miscellaneous – College football has great marching bands, fight songs ingrained in your brain, extreme tailgating, the way Keith Jackson pronounces “A-LA-BAM-A!!!”, drunk student cheering sections, perky cheerleaders, real mascots, and school pride.  Meanwhile, NFL Football has booze at the game that you don’t have to smuggle into the stadium in a flask, Madden NFL for the PS2 or Xbox 360, cheerleaders that were trained at the Admiral Theatre, a plethora of teaser bets, and the gift that keeps on giving with the Super Bowl Shuffle.  It’s a tight one here, but this has got to go this way…

EDGE: College Football

So there you have it.  College Football slightly edges out NFL Football 4-3 on the preference scale for Frank the Tank.  It would be even more preferable if Illinois could win a Big Ten conference game or two each season.  Regardless, I’ll be a happy man in September when the Bears and Illini are both back on the gridiron for real again.