Land-o-Links – 6/1/2006

Damn Pistons.  After Ben Wallace packed Shaq in last night's game, I now have a really awful feeling that we're going to be denied a Dwyane Wade and Shaq NBA Finals for the second year in a row even though the Heat only need one more win.  Anyway, here are today's links:

1) Who Will Win?  We Handicap the Spellers – Samir Patel is going to finally bring it home tonight.  He's on the cusp of cementing his greatness like MJ in 1991.

2) Suburban School Board Rejects Book BanFreakonomics, Slaughterhouse-Five, Beloved… all books that a District 214 board member attempted to ban. Of course, she never actually read any of these books in their entirety (a common theme among book burners). Thankfully, northwest suburban Chicago isn't located in Kansas and cooler heads prevailed.

3) Not Heard 'Round The World – Instant karma's gonna get you.

4) Pimp My Grill – My eyes are popping out of my head like a Looney Tunes character right now.

And finally…

5) He Believed He Could Build – R. Kelly to Olympia Fields: I want to piss on you

Land-o-Links – 5/24/2006

Soul Patrol! Taylor Hicks is taking it home tonight. Until then, here are the links for the day:

1) Report Says High Gas Prices Not Caused by Gouging – Really? Gas prices fluctuate according to the normal rules of supply and demand as opposed to being controlled by the Pentaverate consisting of the oil companies, Karl Rove, the Queen, the Vatican, and Col. Sanders? I still don't believe it.

2) Three 6 Mafia to Peform During WWE's 'Smackdown' – Let's take a look at that Oscar scoreboard again: Three 6 Mafia 1, Martin Scorsese 0.

3) Thomas, Aldridge – or Maybe a Trade? – Isiah Thomas is the gift that keeps on giving. With the Bulls securing the #2 pick in this year's NBA Draft, we're guaranteed either Tyrus Thomas or LaMarcus Aldridge to fill our need for size or there's still the possibility of parlaying this pick into a trade for Kevin Garnett. Now, if we can only get Isiah to taking over the coaching reigns in New York, we can send Greg Oden a non-refundable plane ticket from Columbus to Chicago for June 2007.

And finally…

4) Another Win Bites the Dust – How many more blown saves will it take for Ryan Dempster to achieve LaTroy Hawkins status? I say another 2 and he's there.

A Humane Society

Sadly, the one image that I'll probably never forget from this past weekend was the horrific sight of Barbaro coming up lame in the Preakness on Saturday. His injury turned out to be close to the worst-case scenario with a near-complete shattering of his hind leg. Normally, a horse suffering Barbaro's type of injury would have been euthanized immediately on the track and even after a promising surgery yesterday, he still has only a 50-50 chance of surviving.

The author Jane Schwartz wrote an introspective piece in the New York Times today examining why people care so much about an animal to which they have no personal connection. This brings up the larger point of how much people care about animals in general. For instance, while watching the season finale of "Grey's Anatomy", I felt ten times more pangs of emotion when Meredith's dog was put down (by Chris O'Donnell, no less – Hoo-Hah!) than when Izzie's not-really-boyfriend-but-still-the-love-of-her-life Denny Duquette died at the end of the show. I certainly don't mean that I would value an animal's life over a human's life, but I also doubt that I was the only person that felt that way after that episode.

The funny thing is that I used to think the notion of caring about an animal that much was crazy. Growing up, I never had a real pet other than a goldfish that might have survived about a week after I had won it from a carnie. My disdain for cats was once so deep that I was quoted as stating that felines were the "welfare babies of the animal kingdom."

That attitude changed about a year-and-a-half ago, when my wife convinced me to go to the Naperville Humane Society to take a look at some tiny kittens that she saw. Of course, a lifetime of cat-hating was pretty much wiped away once I had a few moments to play with a 3-month-old tabby named Tater Tot (props to the shelter for coming up with name – his stripes completely match the color of the delectable fried potato treats). After taking a day to think about what my wife and I were plunging ourselves into, I came back to next day to sign the adoption papers and he was brought home after his neutering.

About a week later, my wife came back home one day from work and found Tater slumping along slowly and barely being able to open his eyes. His fur was dried out and his weight had dropped to less than one pound. Terrified, my wife immediately took him to our veterinarian to see what was wrong. After an examination, the prognosis was not good at all – Tater was severely dehydrated and the vet didn't know if he would survive the night, much less be healthy long-term. For the next few evenings, we transported him back and forth to an overnight facility, where he would lay in an incubator and receive a catheter to keep him alive. Numerous tests were performed to see if Tater had certain diseases commiserate with his symptoms, but nothing came back positive. Even though that was the case, the doctors that looked at him all thought that his sickness was so severe that it was almost certain that he wouldn't make it.

During that time, I was a complete emotional wreck. I was someone that a couple of weeks earlier couldn't fathom the thought of even owning a cat, yet other than the day back in college when I found out that my father had cancer, that was the most scared I had ever been in my life. I reached the point where I wondered if we should just take Tater home so that he wouldn't spend his last hours in a hospital. My wife, bless her heart, was resolute, though: we were not going to give up.

It probably wasn't rational to keep pressing on – we had already spent more money than I had spent on myself in my entire life for doctors and Tater still wasn't showing any improvement after days of being in constant care. As a last hope, our vet referred us to a specialist at a 24-hour care facility. We took Tater there and all we could do at that point was to pray for a miracle.

Amazingly, the miracle came! Within 2 days, Tater's health had turned for the better against all odds. There wasn't any magic drug or treatment. What had brought him to almost certain death only a few days before just suddenly went away and no one could explain what had happened. Within moments after finally bringing Tater back home after he spent days tied to machines just to keep his vital signs stable, he starting jumping around and batting at shoelaces and strings as if he were completely normal. To this day, my wife and I light up everytime he comes into the room with his boundless energy.

The thoughts of those personally agonizing days have come up again in the wake of Barbaro's grim outlook. Schwartz compared the plight of Barbaro to the story of the 1975 Triple Crown contender Ruffian, where she suffered a similar injury that resulted in an emergency surgery that ultimately failed. According to Schwartz, "No one who was involved with Ruffian's treatment expected her to survive. Not in any rational sense. They operated on her in the hope that they might buy time for a miracle to take place."

Tater Tot is living proof that such a miracle can indeed take place. Let's hope that Barbaro has his own miracle.

Land-o-Links – 5/18/2006

I haven't written about baseball in quite awhile, so I hope to put together something tomorrow in anticipation of this weekend's White Sox – Cubs crosstown series. Until then, here are today's links:

1) Yo! I'll Tell You What I Want… What I Really, Really Want – This is particularly funny to me because I was seriously going to write about Earworms myself pretty soon, mostly because that goddamned (yet catchy) Shakira/Wyclef Jean song has been stuck in my head for about 64 consecutive days as of this post. By the way, this Disconnected in Suburbia blog (by Chronically Insane, one of Minneapolis Red Sox's friends) is fantastic reading and highly recommended.

2) 'American Idol' Resurrects Clive Davis Once More – It might be just me, but if I had to choose three "legitimate" business executives that I'm convinced have ordered hits Corleone-style, they would be: (1) David Stern, (2) Michael Eisner, and (3) Clive Davis. I've never had much of a problem personally with Stern or Eisner, but Clive has flat-out creeped me out for years. I thought he was on "American Idol" the last couple of nights to whack Elliot Yamin and then take the cannoli. However, Clive does have the distinction of being the first producer of a reality series about putting together a boy band where the leader of said boy band went so far off the deep end that it became the subject of an entirely separate reality series. Shit, that makes putting together platinum records look like child's play.

And finally…

3) Snoop Dogg Permanently Banned From the UK – In other news, Holiday Inn outlets and Tanqueray proprietors across the United Kingdom have filed for bankruptcy protection today.

Land-o-Links – 5/16/2006

I hope all of you got your helpings of "Grey's Anatomy" and "24" last night without any delays caused by Dubya. Anyway, on to today's links:

1) What Happened to Michael Jackson's Fortune? – This ought to be the first installment of a new E! or VH1 series about how celebrities have blown their fortunes, such as "What Happened to Hammer's Fortune?" or "What Happened to Gary Coleman's Fortune?" That's got to be better than another installment of some stupid list show that invariably concludes with a story about a Brad-Angelina-Tom-Katie cyborg baby.

2) Lost on Thursdays? – ABC might have finally figured it out regarding non-stop seasons. (Update: ABC has made it official that it will run "Lost" continuously and without repeats next season, but it's staying on Wednesday nights.  Instead, "Grey's Anatomy" is moving to Thursday.)

3) NU Probes Alleged Hazing – I'm proud to say that the representatives of my alma mater's athletic department actually have some class and dignity, unlike those Dookies and Wildcats.

And finally…

4) Ron Zook Rocks It, Dude, Totally (submitted by Minneapolis Red Sox) – Um, let's scratch what I just stated above.

Land-o-Links – 5/10/2006

The links are University of Illinois-centric today – there just happen to be a number of news items out there (nothing about Chief Illiniwek here, although I'll tackle that at some point):

1) U. of I. Admission About to Get Harder for Residents – It's really interesting to see how efforts to make the University of Illinois into a more selective and elite institution seems to be thought of as a bad thing. At least that's the impression that I got from today's front page Chicago Tribune article. Of course, they just interviewed complaining high school students, parents, and counselors while not bothering to talk to a single U of I alum or current student. I understand the dilemma here, where the academic goals of a public university might run counter to the notion that it's supposed to provide a taxpayer-supported service to in-state residents.

However, as an alum, I want Illinois to be perceived nationally to be at the same level as Michigan and Berkeley. In order to achieve that, Chancellor Herman's initiative to bring in more out-of-state and international students is necessary. Wisconsin is an example of a public school that has been beating us in that regard and it's reflected in our Big Ten rival to the north consistently being rated higher than us in the U.S. News rankings. The quality of our faculty and the GPA and test score numbers of our students are right in line with both Michigan and Wisconsin, yet the biggest difference is that those other two schools draw a large percentage of high quality out-of-state students, particularly from the East Coast, while our student body has consisted of over 90% Illinois residents for quite awhile. If we only draw people from a single region, we're going to be perceived as a regional school.

2) Eighth Annual ACC/Big Ten Challenge Matchups – Is it too early to start thinking about college basketball again? I don't think so. We get a home date with Maryland on Tuesday, November 28th, which should be a pretty good matchup. The Ohio State-UNC game on November 29th, though, will probably be the top non-conference meeting of the year.

3) Illini Ponder Chicago Tournament – More basketball: Illinois might set up their own basketball tournament to take place over Thanksgiving weekend at the new arena being built in Hoffman Estates.

And finally…

4) The World's Best University – A little pep-talk from a guy graduating this year that points out one of the things I loved about attending Illinois: balance.

Land-o-Links – 5/8/2006

I'm extremely disappointed in Kobe and Company for completely blowing their momentum from this past week. This isn't because I have any affinity for the Lakers – in fact, I can't stand them. I just wanted to see a Lakers-Clippers playoff series. To me, the gap between the Lakers and Clippers is the greatest disparity in terms of history and cachet in any pro intra-city rivalry. It would have been magnificent to see all of those pent-up emotions boil over in the playoffs with all of the games being played in the same building. Unfortunately, this second round of the NBA Playoffs is the biggest letdown in terms of a "what-could-have-been" sports matchup since the prospect of a Cubs-Red Sox World Series in 2003. Anyway, on to today's links:

1) Freakonomics: A Star is Made – Stephen J. Dubner and Steven D. Levitt, the authors of "Freakonomics," put together this short examination of how much natural talent really plays into performing at high levels in any profession. They also look at a statistical quirk as to how a disproportionate number of top soccer players are born in the earliest months of the year. By the way, if you haven't read "Freakonomics" yet, I suggest that you go pick it up ASAP – it's absolutely one of the most fascinating books I've ever read.

2) Homer No. 713 a Super-Sized Blast – Is there anything I care less about? I'm sick of it.

3) Conan O'Brien Speaks: 'Chicago is in our DNA' – Conan's in town this week.

And finally…

4) McNally Smith College of Music Announces 'Ice Cube Scholarship' – I thought all of us at Illinois were cool for going to a school that awards the Hugh Hefner Scholarships. However, at this point, I don't believe anything can beat being called an "Ice Cube Scholar."

Land-o-Links – 5/1/2006

NFL Draft thoughts coming later today and some NBA Playoff talk is on the board for tomorrow. Until then, here are today's links:

1) ABC Gives Fans a "Lost Experience" – I'm a big "Lost" fan, so this sounds like a great idea. We'll see how this plays out over the summer.

2) Atlantic City May Lose in New Monopoly – Hasbro is putting out a "Here and Now" edition of Monopoly that dedicates a spot on the board for 22 different American cities, but Atlantic City was not included. Not surprisingly, Atlantic City boosters aren't exactly happy about diluting their most famous claim to fame outside of Donald Trump's bankrupt casinos (a "classic edition" of Monopoly with the original board will still be produced). If you've never been to Atlantic City, just picture Joliet with bigger casinos, trashier ghettos, and a lot of seagulls and water taffy shops. As a result, I'm not surprised that Hasbro wanted to upgrade their board game's image. However, I do give some credence to their gripe after finding out that Cleveland, out of all places, is getting a spot on the board.

The other part of this story is that everyone gets to vote on which famous site gets to represent each city on Monopoly.com for the next couple of weeks. Chicago actually will get two spots on the board – one is a regular spot and the other will be O'Hare since airports will be replacing the railroads (JFK, LAX, and Atlanta are the other air hubs being included). The 3 choices for Chicago are Wrigley Field (which is winning by a landslide right now), Michigan Avenue, and Navy Pier. Now, even this Sox fan can understand Wrigley's inclusion as choice, but why on Earth is Navy Pier on this list over obvious sites such as the Sears Tower, Millennium Park, and Buckingham Fountain? Anyway, the top vote-getter out of all of the sites in the country will receive the coveted Boardwalk space.

3) Snoop Dogg Arrested in London Airport – My wife and I actually had to sleep overnight in Heathrow when our flight back home from London was stuck in New York as a result of the 2003 blackout. Needless to say, it would have been a lot more fun experience if I was able to hit the duty free store with Snoop.

And finally…

4) 50 Cent Joins Campaign to Prevent Childhood Obesity – Note that 50 Cent sells grape drink, NOT grape juice. I want that purple stuff!

Land-o-Links – 4/27/2006

Thoughts on this weekend's NFL Draft should be coming tomorrow if I have time.  Until then, here are the links for the day:

1) MTV's 'Super Sweet 16' Gives a Sour Pleasure – I'm actually one those people that believes MTV's transition to not showing music videos was one of the greatest developments of the 1990s outside of the collapse of the Soviet Union.  "Date My Mom", "Next", "The Gauntlet", "Super Sweet 16"… they're all on Frank the Tank's watch list.  Let me just tell you that the record executive's son's party that was held at Jay-Z's club and had Kanye West, P. Diddy, and Jermaine Dupri in the house looked dope.

2) Mick Jagger Joins a New ABC Sitcom – I'm giggling at the thought of Keith Richards busting through Mick's apartment door like Kramer.

3) Sacre Bleu! No Foie Gras For You – Mayor Daley has his wacky power trips sometimes, but overall he's done a pretty good job for the city.  The Chicago City Council, on the hand, is turning this town into the People's Republic of Chicago and is making Berkeley look level-headed and rational.  I've never had foie gras and don't have a huge desire to try it, yet NPR pointed out this morning how arbitrary this ban is considering  farms feed pigs and cattle the exact same way (and I don't think we're going to be banning steak and bacon here anytime soon).  Aldermen are great at getting potholes filled and streets plowed.  They just shouldn't EVER EVER EVER be allowed to make substantive policy decisions.

And last but not least… 

4) Schaumburg to Toast 'Leon' – I joke all the time that certain athletes ought to be traded for some cases of beer.  Now, not only did this actually happen, but look who it happened to.

Land-o-Links – 4/25/2006

My top 99%-unlikely-but-you-never-know sports wish right now is the Bulls being able to bring Dwyane Wade back to his hometown of Chi-town when he becomes a free agent in 2007. This is a guy I'd pay serious money to watch every night. The way he's been exploding on both ends of the floor against the Bulls so far in the playoffs is just ridiculous. For the here and now, even being down 2-0 in the series, the Bulls are doing about as well as they possibly can against the Heat, who feature 2 of the top 5 players in the NBA with Wade and Shaq. At this point, if the Bulls lose this series but stretch it out to 6 games, that would be an impressive accomplishment considering their severe talent disadvantage. After that, I'll just dream of Dwayne making the United Center his homecourt. Here are some exceptional links for the day:

1) Hernandez Apologizes for Comments – "I'm Keith Hernandez."

seinfeld_hernandez.jpg 24sheep.xlarge1.jpg

2) Advertiser Counts on Sheep to Pull Eyes Over the Wool – The Dutch finally got sick of all those sheep farmer jokes.

3) Outdoor Life Network to Become Versus – The sad thing here is that I know OLN paid a lot of consultants a lot of money to run this by a lot focus groups… and this is what they came up with.

4) Blackbelt's at Back of Cicero President – As all Chicago South Siders know, Cicero puts the "ass" in "class."

5) Finland Squirms as Its Latest Export Steps into the Spotlight – Hint: the Finns aren't worried about the latest phones from Nokia.

And speaking of rockers in masks…

6) Rival Bands Clash Over Little-Person KISS Tribute – This is the type of case I need to be working on.

(Photos from ESPN.com, New York Times)