Category: Random Thoughts

Land-o-Links – 8/22/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Land-o-Links, Random Thoughts2 Comments

A bonus post today on some random items because: (a) I need to not think about the White Sox, (b) I need to not think about the Bears offense, and (c) today is Maddenoliday, which means I will be out of commission for the next several days after I pick up my pre-ordered copy of Madden 2007 in a couple of hours.  On to today’s links:

1) Pink Taco’s Owners Make Bid to Name Cards Stadium (Arizona Republic) (from Deadspin) – Mulva?

2) Now the Music Industry Wants Guitarists to Stop Sharing (New York Times) – What about tips for Guitar Hero?

3) Video of the Day: Kevin Federline on The Teen Choice Awards (TV with MeeVee) – There are some things that you can’t unsee.

4) A New Way to Use the Force (Wall Street Journal) (subscription required) – How George Lucas plans to keep rolling in the dough even without any new Star Wars movies.  Thankfully, we will be able to hear that goofy Ewok song at the end of Return of the Jedi once more pretty soon.

5) Kids Say the Darndest Things in Their Blogs (Washington Post) – This simply isn’t true.  I was an embarrassment to my parents long before I started a blog.

And finally…

6) Man Trapped Waist-Deep in Chocolate (San Francisco Chronicle) – Only in Wisconsin.

“That’s All Things Considered’s Music!!!” and Land-o-Links for 8/18/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Big Ten, Chicago White Sox, College Basketball, Illinois Fighting Illini, Land-o-Links, Major League Baseball, Random Thoughts, SportsLeave a comment

During my ten-minute drive from my house to the train station every morning, I usually listen to National Public Radio. This is because: (a) the music stations seem to think that people only want to hear 45-minute discussions about the latest celebrity engagement/marriage/divorce during the morning drive as opposed to, say, listening to music; (b) the sports stations have about a 2-to-1 commercial-to-program ratio in the morning; and (c) I like my news coverage to be more than reciting the latest Yahoo! News headlines.

So, since I only spend a few minutes in the car each day, NPR is perfect for that time. I know that I’m going to get a couple of in-depth news stories that I wouldn’t have found on my own. (By the way, do you know how you have that stomach turning moment in life where you realize that you have turned into your parents? For me, it was when I started to willingly listen to NPR. I used to complain to my father all of the time in the car when he listened to NPR instead of the mysogynist hip-hop music that I favored. Now look at what’s happened to me – I own a house in the suburbs and listen to NPR while driving a minivan. Once I start complaining about any hoodlums in neighborhood that keep partying with the bass too loud, my transformation will be complete.)

At the same time, I’m not going to be deluged with a bunch of commercials in the traditional sense. NPR does have sponsors for segments, which are usually refined entities that fit the tone and tenor of the station such as financial services companies, corporate law firms, museums, and fine arts festivals.

Considering all of this, I nearly urinated on myself in the car the other day when the NPR announcer non-chalantly stated, “Your Chicago Public Radio traffic and weather report has been brought to you by the WWE SummerSlam.” My goodness, the Hulkster is body slamming the Hezbollah!!! Who’s ready for the Garrison Keillor/Carl Kasell tag team??? The only thing that could have been funnier is if the announcer had capped it by informing the listeners that they could watch everything live this Sunday at the Rosemont Horizon. Vince McMahon must have sent in one helluva check during the spring pledge drive. Anyway, here are the links for the weekend:

1) Slippery When Airborne (Malay Mail) (from Danny M) – YES, THOSE SNAKES DESERVED TO DIE, AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!!!

2) 2006-07 Illinois Men’s Basketball Schedule (FightingIllini.com) – The nonconference schedule is definitely a step down from the last five or six seasons, although that’s appropriate since this is probably going to be a weaker transition year before the Illini ramp it up again for the monster freshman class starting in 2007-08 (assuming Indiana stops doing the devil’s work in trying to steal our recruit). I’m definitely looking forward to the Arizona game on December 2nd, which will be our first meeting with the Wildcats since the greatest sports event I have ever seen and probably ever will see. If for some reason you need a reminder of what occurred on March 26, 2005, bestill the power of YouTube here.

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(Random Note #1: A couple of my buddies were playing pickup hoops in downtown Chicago last weekend when out of the blue, Dee Brown showed up along with an entourage of 5 other guys and joined the game. Quoting one of the players regarding Dee: “He broke my ankles, drained threes in my face, and trash talked…it was awesome. In one game, we were on the same team and he caught me on a backdoor move. The play was so smooth…it’s like we’ve been playing together for years.” That might be the most awesome story I have ever heard in my life.)

(Random Note #2: The picture above of Deron Williams posterizing Channing Frye has been the wallpaper on my computer since March 27, 2005. Just so you know.)

3) 5 Predictions for the Big Ten (ESPN.com) – Switching to football, I’ll gladly take “long-term optimism” and run with it.

4) The Barkers Meet MySpace (E! Online News) – Well, this is certainly one way to get your side of the story out to the public.

5) The Buerhle Bile File: Making History: Game 120 Thoughts (Chi-Sox Blog) – After what was supposed to be a break in the schedule against the Royals (the White Sox ended up barely splitting the 4-game series against the worst team in baseball), the Sox now have 10 straight games with the Twins and Tigers. I was really hoping that I could enjoy the next 6 weeks without having the worry about the Sox making the playoffs, but no dice here.

6) Snakes on Claire Danes (YouTube) – Heh-heh…

And finally…

7) Australians Upset Over Loud Manilow Music (San Francisco Chronicle) – Sometimes, you’re better off just putting up with those punk kids because the solution is ten times worse.

(Image from FightingIllini.com)

Land-o-Links – 8/14/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Chicago White Sox, Land-o-Links, Major League Baseball, NFL Football, Random Thoughts, SportsLeave a comment

A few links to get your week started off right:

1) Disconnected in Suburbia – After being banned from the interweb by the FCC for a few weeks, Chronically Insane is back and we’re all better for it.

2) Fat Factors (New York Times) – This is a lengthy article, but it goes over fascinating studies scientists are performing to examine factors outside of genes and eating/exercise habits that could cause obesity (including viruses).

3) Try As They Might, Bears Can’t Quell QB Derby (Chicago Tribune) – I forgot to mention another reason as to why preseason football is excruciating: the inevitable infatuation Bears fans develop with the backup quarterback after the first preseason game. This puppy love will continue until that backup quarterback actually has to play or the last game of the season, whichever comes first.

4) You Hearin’ Those Footsteps? (South Side Sox) – I’m feeling a little bit better today about the playoff hopes for the White Sox, but there’s still a ton of work to be done.

5) Stephen A. Smith Heckled at the 2006 NBA Draft, Second Round (YouTube) (from Minneapolis Red Sox) – QUITE FRANKLY, I NEED MY CHEESE DOODLES!!!

6) VH-1 Flavor of Love Blog – Unofficial takes on the best show on television.

And finally…

7) Kanye West to Tour With Rolling Stones and U2 (AllHipHop.com) – I got jipped with the opening act when I went to see the Stones back in January. Wow!!!

Preseason Blues and Land-o-Links for 8/5/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Big Ten, Chicago Bears, College Football, Illinois Fighting Illini, Land-o-Links, NFL Football, Random Thoughts, Sports5 Comments

I love football. It doesn’t matter whether it’s pro football or college football – I’ll watch it all. I run multiple fantasy football teams every year. There have to be monstrous extraneous factors for me to miss watching a Bears or Illini game. However, for all of this love for the pigskin, there’s one thing that doesn’t excite me at all: preseason football.

Even though my heart flutters a little bit when NFL training camps open, preseason football just doesn’t do it for me. Don’t get me wrong – I’ll most likely end up watching the Hall of Fame Game this weekend along with all of the Bears preseason games (not to mention that a number of professional gamblers believe that the preseason presents great betting opportunities). Yet, as opposed to whetting my appetite for the upcoming regular season, which is what spring training does for me with baseball, the NFL preseason is an excruciatingly long month that puts me on edge.

The reason is that the NFL preseason has absolutely no correlation with what occurs during the regular season. (Random Factoid for Use in a Bar Bet – Question: What was the Bears’ preseason record before their 15-1 Super Bowl season in 1985? Answer: 1 win, 3 losses.) While the third game of the preseason is usually when teams leave their starters in for the most amount of time, the ultimate goal for most head coaches is to make sure they don’t have too many injuries going into the season opener. That means the average preseason game might see the starting units on the field for the first quarter, at most (I doubt we’ll see Rex Grossman take snaps for more than a series or two per game). After that, it’s a cacophony of scrubs trying to grab a third-string spot or a place on the practice squad. That’s not real football. At least in spring training baseball games, there is a feeling that the game of baseball is actually being played with the players that are going to be out there everyday.

There is nothing better in sports than a football game where both teams are playing at the highest level. However, preseason football is a bastardized version of this great sport. That being said, I’ll still watch it, though. On to today’s links:

1) Best Sports Cities 2006: Welcome Back, Chicago (Sporting News) – It’s no contest.

2) Zook’s Latest Coup Gives Hope (Mark Tupper Weblog) – How many “risks” are going to be acceptable for Ron Zook to take in order to get the Illini football program back on the map? Illinois just enrolled Melvin Alaeze, who was the number one rated defensive end in the nation out of the high school Class of 2005 but had his scholarship to Maryland rescinded because he (a) failed to qualify academically (which concerns me since Illinois is considerably more difficult to get into than Maryland) and (b) has some problems with the reefer. Of course, something tells me that if he really is the faster and stronger version of Simeon Rice that the scouts claim and Illinois turns into a perennial bowl game participant that we believe it should be, we’re going to end up forgetting these details within the next couple years. It’s somewhat sad, but it’s true everywhere in big-time college athletics.

3) Wee, Wee, Wee – Half the Way Home (Siberia, Minnesota) – Some of my Illini brethren have been foiled again. It’s probably a good thing that Facebook didn’t exist when I was in college (and an extremely good thing for Minneapolis Red Sox).

4) Whoa, Wait – You Meant That? (Chicagoist) – This is what happens when the Chicago City Council fails high school economics.

5) Bears Need Offense to Help Defense (ESPN.com) – The Bears training camp report filed by John Clayton AKA Bill Gates’ Dorkier Little Brother. Interesting tidbit: only one Bears team over the past 10 seasons has averaged more than 21 points a game, which was the 2001 club that averaged a huge 21.1. Bleh!

6) Top Ten Will Farrell SNL Skits of All Time (TK) – For anyone that has ever wondered, I seriously have had the nickname of Frank the Tank since my tenure at Brookwood Junior High at the beginning of the 1990s, which was long before Will Farrell’s character of the same name ever appeared in Old School.

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And finally…

7) Write Your Very Own Sports Guy Column (The Chicago Sports Review) (from Deadspin) – Bill Simmons AKA The Sports Guy on ESPN’s Page 2 is one of my favorite columnists on any subject, whether it’s inside or outside of the sports arena. Over time, he has developed a distinct writing style which has influenced plenty of writers out there (including myself), where a column on a sports topic is heavily interspersed with reality TV show and ’80s pop culture references. In fact, Simmons’ writing style has become so pervasive that it was only a matter of time that someone put up a “Mad Libs”-style form to create your own Sports Guy column. You can take a look at my end product, which is on the next page, but you really need to try it out yourself first before reading anyone else’s versions in order to get the full effect.

(UPDATE: The real Sports Guy has new mailbag column today, where he provides an apt description of the cab line at the Las Vegas airport.)

Continue reading “Preseason Blues and Land-o-Links for 8/5/2006” →

Yankee Doodle Dealings and Land-o-Links for 8/2/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Big Ten, Chicago Bulls, College Football, Illinois Fighting Illini, Land-o-Links, Major League Baseball, NBA Basketball, Random Thoughts, SportsLeave a comment

Pitching and defense win championships in baseball. It’s a concept that’s constantly beaten into our heads, right? Yet, almost every baseball prognosticator alive is convinced that the Yankees have taken control of the American League by adding Bobby Abreu and Craig Wilson to the lineup along with fifth starter Cory Lidle. (Mercifully, the great Gregg Doyel is an exception.)

Now, considering that the Yankees were able to obtain these players for very little in exchange, these were certainly great deals when examining them on paper. However, even with the injuries to Hideki Matsui and Gary Sheffield, the Yankees weren’t having any trouble scoring runs before the trade deadline. Their biggest concern, as with many other teams, was and still is starting pitching. Lidle’s stats need to be taken with a monster grain of salt since he’s coming from the National League. If Bronson Arroyo all of the sudden becomes an ace by switching leagues, you know that there’s a serious gap in quality.

The upshot here is that the Yankees could very well bash in enough runs to make it to the postseason, but there’s no way that they’re winning the World Series this year with that pitching staff. For all of those that get a little too excited about sexy offensive stats, remember how the Indianpolis Colts and the Dallas Mavericks ended their respective seasons in 2006. The adage about pitching and defense winning championships is old and tired, but it bears repeating since people seem to forget it every single year. On to today’s links:

1) Parsing Mel’s Meltdown (Washington Post) – Let’s see… Steven Spielberg… Jeffrey Katzenberg… the Weinstein brothers… it seems to me that Hollywood isn’t the greatest town in the world to have a beef with Jewish people. (By the way, I hope I will look half as good as this if I ever have to get a mugshot taken in a drunken stupor.)

2) Bulls Announce 2006-07 Regular Season (Bulls.com) – Call me crazy, but the last time that I’ve been this excited about an upcoming season for any of my rooting interests was with the 2004-05 Illini basketball team. There’s nothing quite like watching a team on the ascent after improving significantly during the offseason. The coverage of the Bulls is getting back up to the numbers of the Jordan Era, with 30 of their games being broadcast on national television (which doesn’t even include the games on Superstation WGN). If anything, it could be a banner October with the Bulls (tipping off on Halloween), White Sox (as long as our pitchers stop giving up run totals in the double-digits), Bears, and better-than-even odds for a Big Ten win for Illinois football since we have Indiana at home this year.

3) Defending Conference Co-Champion Ohio State Named Big Ten Football Preseason Favorite (Big Ten.com) – In case you missed the blanket ESPNEWS coverage of Big Ten Media Day yesterday, the media members voted for the obvious preseason choice for conference football champs. With these high gridiron expectations being coupled with one of the greatest basketball recruiting classes in history coming into Columbus this year, it’s a great time to be a Buckeye. As for the Illini, did I mention the fact that Illinois gets to play Indiana at home this year?

4) Move Over, Napa (Chicago Tribune) – My wife and I were up in the Saugatuck-Douglas area over the Fourth of July weekend, and I’ll have to say that I’m a fan of the Michigan vino.

And finally…

5) Man Has Erection For 10 Years and Wins $400k in Lawsuit (San Francisco Chronicle) – Chuck Norris doesn’t understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts more than four hours. As seen in this article, his erections have been known to last up to ten years.

(UPDATE: Deadspin is reporting that the Latino sensation Miller Park Chorizo, which began racing last week, won’t be back until next season because Major League Baseball needs to “vet all new mascots.”  This finally answers my question as to what Bud Selig does all day.)

Land-o-Links – 7/25/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Chicago White Sox, Land-o-Links, Major League Baseball, NBA Basketball, NFL Football, Politics, Random Thoughts, Sports4 Comments

About a week-and-a-half ago on a Saturday, a small fire occurred in the building next door to my company’s offices in the Loop. On the following Monday, every store and restaurant on the floor where the fire occurred, which includes Bank of America, Dunkin’ Donuts, Nestle Toll House Cookies, and Gateway Newsstands, was closed with the glaring exception of one right in the middle of it all: Starbucks. God forbid that the zombie-like addicts don’t get their caffeine crack during the Monday rush-hour. The point here is that whatever you think of Starbucks, they obviously have such a well-tuned disaster plan that they ought to be put in charge of running FEMA. Anyway, on to today’s links:

1) Welcome, All Chorizos! (Deadspin) – Usually, “South of the Border” to people from Wisconsin means FIBs.

2) 2008: The Case for Barack Obama (Washington Post) – If I were Barack, I’d be running for President right away. Out of the 5 Presidents that we’ve elected over the past 30 years, the only one that had any substantive national experience was George H.W. Bush. If anything, the more time that you spend in the U.S. Senate, the worse presidential candidate you become (see John Kerry, Al Gore, and Bob Dole).

3) White Sox Acquire MacDougal (South Side Sox) – For all of the Alfonso Soriano rumors, acquiring Mike MacDougal from the Royals to shore up a less-than-stellar bullpen was the move that the White Sox really needed to make before the trade deadline. Even South Side player-hater Minneapolis Red Sox approved of the move! Of course, it would help if we started winning again.

4) Chicago Bulls’ New ‘Bench Seat’ Runs $125,500 Per Season (Crain’s Chicago Business) – While this might sound expensive, the cost of this seat for an entire year is almost $60,000 less than what Ben Wallace will be making per game from the Bulls during the life of his new contract. From that standpoint, this is a steal, right?

5) Camp Starts Thursday (Da’ Bears Blog) – I don’t know about you, but Bears training camp, which opens up tomorrow, has completely snuck up on me.  This is noteworthy because I usually start counting down the days to the opening of training camp by around the Fourth of July, particularly when the Bears are coming off of a playoff run as they are this year.  However, with everything that has been going on with the Sox and Bulls over the summer plus an even worse than average season for the Cubs, we’re in a rare period where the Bears aren’t dominating the Chicago sports scene.  That being said, I’m starting to get the annual football itch.

And finally…

6) New Monopoly Version Uses Debit Card (Yahoo! News) – No word on whether we need to pay $1.50 for each time that we pass “Go”.

Land-o-Links – 7/21/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Land-o-Links, Major League Baseball, NBA Basketball, Random Thoughts, Soccer, Sports1 Comment

I’m not happy with the performance of the White Sox lately at all. If this keeps up, we might be worrying a lot more about the AL wild card contenders behind us right now than Detroit. Well, at least there are some links to take away attention from the slumping Sox:

1) Making Money in Basketball (Blog Maverick) – Mark Cuban’s suggestion on how to build a successful minor league basketball franchise: pay off high school kids… seriously. While his “business plan” here starts with this unfathomable leap, he does make an excellent point as to how European basketball teams make their serious profits from the buyout clauses of the players that they develop that go on to the NBA and that there’s no reason that an American minor league club couldn’t do the same. The Wall Street Journal had an article a couple of weeks ago about how the reverse of this money flow occurs in the soccer world, where European soccer clubs will pay large “transfer rights” to Latin American clubs for the top players that they develop, which are completely separate from the actual playing contracts for those players (it’s a virtual stock market regarding the value of soccer players, which is why the Journal reported that hedge funds have been getting into the action). In the case of superstar Cristiano Ronaldo, Manchester United paid his old club in Portugal $19.2 million for his transfer rights. Something tells me that the Pistons paid a bit less for the rights to Darko Milicic (although I could be very wrong in that thought).

2) Scientists Plan to Rebuild Neanderthal Genome (New York Times) – They’re exclusively using DNA samples from Patrick Ewing and Bill Laimbeer.

3) Ex-Village People Singer Answers Charges (Los Angeles Times) – You knew it had to be the cop, right? By the way, it might be just me, but I always have an internal chuckle at every wedding that I attend where all of the grandmothers are whooping it up to “YMCA” since it’s obvious that they have absolutely no clue what that song is about.

4) Remini Held Suri Cruise During L.A. Visit (Washington Post) – There still hasn’t been any denial that this baby is an alien cyborg. Hmmmm….

5) Quite Frankly, Baker Bails Out (Chicago Tribune) – A number of Cubs bloggers received emails that appeared to come from the producers of Stephen A. Smith’s show on ESPN, urging them to join the studio audience during a Dusty Baker interview and boo him. Smith stated that he believed it was a hoax and then blamed Deadspin for all of this. Of course, Deadspin has a nice retort to Stephen A’s accusations.

And finally…

6) Pennsylvania Man, 80, Admits Dealing Crack for Sex (San Francisco Chronicle) – On that note, have a great weekend!

Land-o-Links – 7/18/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Big East, Big Ten, Chicago White Sox, College Basketball, DePaul Blue Demons, Illinois Fighting Illini, Major League Baseball, Random Thoughts, Sports3 Comments

Have the Mets stopped scoring on the Cubs yet? All jokes aside, my White Sox didn’t fare any better against the other New York team this weekend. The three game sweep at the hands of the Yankees makes the series beginning tonight against the Tigers a pivotal point in the season. I still don’t quite believe in Detroit because of their inexperience, but I’d be remiss if I neglected to mention that the baseball world didn’t think the Sox were for real until the last out of the World Series last season. In fact, the 2004 Red Sox are the only World Series winners of the last five years that really had any “big game” experience prior to their championship season. Until tonight’s game, here are the links for the day:

1) The True Nature of Bo’s Tecmo Dominance (Deadspin) – The Big Three of Old School Nintendo: Mario in “Super Mario Bros.”, Link in “The Legend of Zelda”, and Bo Jackson in “Tecmo Bowl”.

(Update: Per TK, the Bo Jackson footage was from Tecmo Super Bowl as opposed to Tecmo Bowl. The original Tecmo Bowl didn’t use NFL teams or players.)

2) Oprah: I’m Not Gay (Washington Post) – Crisis averted for American males: there will not be an Oprah/Rosie love child.

3) The Deal-Breakers (Chicago Tribune) – Rationally, to paraphrase the former Hollywood magnate Samuel Goldwyn, I believe that verbal commitments aren’t worth the paper that they’re written on, so I can’t really be shocked by this or play the “unethical” card here. Emotionally, however, if Kelvin Sampson and Indiana somehow steal Eric Gordon from Illinois, my hatred for the Hoosiers would catapult them past Duke and the Packers on my personal list of the most evil teams in all of sports (and that’s akin to switching the order of the Ten Commandments for me). If you’re not up for a couple of rants per week on this blog for the next umpteen years about how Sampson is the Anti-Christ, you absolutely do not want this to happen.

4) DePaul Big East Basketball Opponents for 2006-07 (DePaul Blue Demons) – Having two games apiece against Notre Dame and St. John’s is a good thing. However, what’s up with South Florida (who I don’t believe should have ever been invited to the Big East) appearing twice on the schedule instead of traditional rival Marquette? That’s not very cool. All in all, I have some doubts as to whether DePaul is going to have enough to get to the NCAA Tournament next season since the tough Big East gauntlet is coupled with a brutal non-conference schedule with home games against Kansas (speaking of a school with a coach that is the Anti-Christ), Wake Forest, and California, along with a trip to the Maui Classic that will feature Kentucky, Memphis, UCLA, and Oklahoma.

5) Chicago Weighs New Prohibition: Bad-for-You Fats (New York Times) – If Ed Burke had read my list of Chicago buffets from last week, he never would have proposed such a clamp on the joys of humanity. Do we live in Russia or something?

6) Never Say Never (Chicagoist) – See, Naperville isn’t such a bad place to live! However, I do remember seeing the noted T-shirt being sold around the corner from my old apartment in the city right before my wife and I made the move out west.

And finally…

7) Snoop Dogg Planning West Cost Dominance (AllHipHop.com) – Tell us what you really think about non-West Coast rappers shooting videos in your ‘hood, Snoop.

Frank the Tank’s Great All-You-Can-Eat Buffets of Chicago

On By Frank the TankIn Food, Random Thoughts8 Comments

There are a number of factors that make America great – freedom of speech, the dedication to innovation, our steadfast refusal to adopt the metric system, and, most importantly, the preponderance of all-you-can-eat buffets across the land.  As a moral duty to all my readers, I’d like to share some of my favorites from the Chicago area in no particular order (please note that these are old school eat-from-the-trough buffets, so the amazing all-you-can-eat Brazilian steakhouses such as Fogo de Chao that are on a whole other level aren’t included here):

1) Aurelio’s Pizza Buffet (506 West Harrison Street, Chicago) – My favorite food in the entire world is pizza and my favorite pizza in the entire world is from Homewood-based Aurelio’s. Thus, when Aurelio’s began a lunch buffet a few blocks away from my Loop office, my cholesterol level shot up about 100 points just with the marvelous foodie thoughts dancing through my head. Plus, the salad bar has crushed up bits of real bacon (that’s really the only time I ever touch the salad bar over there), which means you can turn any slice of pizza into a bacon special.

2) KFC Buffet (700 North Milwaukee Avenue, Vernon Hills) – Did I just say that there is KFC that allows a patron to delve into an orgy of Original Recipe, Extra Crispy, and sides without limitation? Damn straight. As far as I know, this is the only one that exists in Chicagoland. After having lived in nearby Libertyville for a couple of years, I can no longer eat KFC like a normal human being. Unless I get 15 wings and 5 breasts, I’m not satisfied. Damn you Colonel Sanders, with your beady little eyes!

3) Malahini Terrace (321 West 75th Street, Clarendon Hills) – Pretty much all Chinese buffets are inherently good. However, the last time I went to this place, it had Peking duck as one its offerings, which makes it inherently stupendous. (Sidenote: How about a pay-per-view battle between General Tso and Colonel Sanders for chicken supremacy? That would totally kick the hell out of that Burger King chicken fight from a couple of years ago.)

4) John Barleycorn’s Sunday Brunch (3524 North Clark Street, Chicago) – Yes, I know that the bar is played out for anyone that is more than two years removed from college. However, the breakfast spread here with made-to-order omelettes is surprisingly good at an inexpensive price, although my memories might be colored by the fact that I was probably nursing a hangover during my visit.

5) Bobak’s (5275 South Archer Avenue, Chicago) – It’s Xanadu on Archer. Chicken stuffed in pork stuffed in beef stuffed into a deep-fried pierogi… that essentially describes the experience at this Polish classic. In the end though, it all comes down to how many of the Nobel Peace Prize-winning bacon-wrapped hot dogs you can down Kobayashi-style. That is not a misprint. I would never, ever joke about the existence of a restaurant that offers hot dogs wrapped in bacon, which has been verified by Dan Brown as the main course at the Last Supper. Just be sure to duck your heads while you’re in the parking lot to avoid the jets flying into Midway.

Oops! I Screwed Up – Corrections for 7/13/2006

On By Frank the TankIn Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Major League Baseball, Random Thoughts, Sports1 Comment

Every once in awhile, Frank the Tank’s Slant unintentionally prints erroneous information and is not able to update it within a reasonable amount of time. Unlike the vaunted New York Times, which buries its corrections in the middle of the obituaries section, this blog will devote an entire post on its front page from time-to-time to rectify its unaddressed errors. Please review the following:

1) In the Land-o-Links – 6/15/2006 post, Frank the Tank’s Slant reported that the opening line for the new Jay-Z/Beyonce song is “I used to run the bases like Juan Pierre”, which is incorrect. Instead, the opening line is actually “I used to run base like Juan Pierre”, where “base” is a reference to free base cocaine, A.K.A. crack. Frank the Tank’s Slant sincerely regrets the error and apologizes to Shawn Carter A.K.A. Jay-Z A.K.A. Jigga A.K.A. Hova. This blog should have known better.

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2) In the 2006 American League Preview post, Frank the Tank’s Slant has managed to bungle every prediction as of this year’s All-Star Break. While this blog stands by its predictions and will not issue a full retraction unless it is warranted at the conclusion of the Major League Baseball season, Frank the Tank’s Slant sincerely regrets influencing anyone that would have been intoxicated enough to actually base wagers on such predictions.

3) In the 2006 National League Preview post, please see all of the comments for the 2006 American League Preview above, except that this blog will issue a full retraction of its idiotic and insane prediction regarding the Chicago Cubs immediately (and please note that the prediction was made by a diehard White Sox fan, which makes this whole situation completely unacceptable).

A special non-sports post is on tap for tomorrow that everyone can relate to. Until then, enjoy your Thursday!

(Image from Wikipedia)