I was on a blissful vacation last weekend, which means that I thankfully didn’t have to watch a horrific couple of days of football from the Illini and Bears. Therefore, I’ll direct you to Illinitalk and Blog Down Chicago Bears for their respective rants. Onto this week’s parlay picks (home teams in CAPS):
COLLEGE FOOTBALL PARLAY
(1) NAVY MIDSHIPMEN (+2.5) over Pittsburgh Panthers – I have few rules in life, but one of them is that a Dave Wannstedt-coached team is not allowed to be ranked for two weeks in a row.
(2) Miami Hurricanes (-3.5) over DUKE BLUE DEVILS – The mighty might have fallen a bit in Miami, but they’re still light years ahead of Puke football.
(3) ILLINOIS FIGHTING ILLINI (-15.5) over Indiana Hoosiers – The bookies are absolutely KILLING me with another double-digit spread in favor of Illinois for the second week in a row (and we know how that turned out against Minnesota), especially with the Hawaii-style defense (as in no defense) that the Illini appear to be utilizing lately. Still, WTF was I thinking in picking Indiana last week after they put up an embarrassing performance against Iowa? I should have known better than to choose those Satan’s Spawn enablers. Let’s hope that the Minnesota game was the equivalent of the Iowa game last year – a Zookian brain fart against an inferior team.
Frank the Tank’s College Football Parlay Record
Last Week: 1-2
Illini Games for the Season: 2-3
Overall Season: 11-9-1
NFL FOOTBALL PARLAY
(1) GREEN BAY PACKERS (+2) over Indianapolis Colts – The bookies have essentially made the Packers into my anti-Illini for gambling purposes this year, where I’m pretty sure every spread involving Green Bay so far has been within a field goal. They’re way too enticing again, especially at home against an Indy club that largely running on reputation this season.
(2) CAROLINA PANTHERS (-3) over New Orleans Saints – You know that the spreads are FUBAR this week when I’m including this game, which involves two scarily inconsistent teams. I’m still in denial that we are entering a world where the Dolphins are a favorite against the Ravens and Vegas is spotting double-digits to Brian Griese versus a Mike Holmgren-coached team.
(3) CHICAGO BEARS (-3) over Minnesota Vikings – The fact that the Bears have the same record as the Vikings right now is a complete abomination. The New York Times pointed out that the difference between the Bears being 6-0 as opposed to 3-3 is a swing of a total of 8 points in an aggregate of 4 minutes at the conclusion of their 3 losses. Meanwhile, the Vikings needed a questionable pass interference call to pull out a win against the pathetic Lions. This really ought to be a double-digit spread for the Bears on paper, but Vegas correctly recognizes that there are still plenty of ways that we can pry defeat from the jaws of victory in the fourth quarter.
Frank the Tank’s NFL Football Parlay Record
Last Week: 1-2
Bears Games for the Season: 1-4–1
Overall Season: 6-9-3
FIRST BULLS RANT OF THE SEASON
On a final note, if Larry Hughes starts another Bulls preseason game instead of Derrick Rose (yes, I’ve been watching preseason basketball – there’s some serious b-ball withdrawl on my end), I will personally see to it that Vinny Del Negro’s rims are ripped off his car and sold off on Maxwell Street next Sunday. In a remarkable turn of events, Stacey King actually stated something worthwhile on Tuesday’s broadcast by noting that the rest of the Bulls need to adjust to Derrick Rose’s game as opposed to the other way around. My gawd, I think he’s got it!!! There will be a justifiable fan mutiny if we continue to hear crap that Rose needs to be coddled into the lineup. I agree that all observers need to temper expectations for production out of 19-year old rookie point guard, but he needs as much time on the floor as possible since this team needs to be built around his talent and skills instead of trying to wedge him into a rotation with 18 other undersized guards. The regular season hasn’t even started yet and the presence of Larry Hughes is already making me twitch – this isn’t a good sign. At the very least, I need to be able to take in the sight of two of my man crushes in Rose and Deron Williams going at each other in a special exhibition game at the Assembly Hall in Champaign on Friday night – I’m officially getting all tingly right now.
Go Bulls, Go Deron, Go Illini, and Go Bears!
(Image from ESPN.com)