Basking in My Otioseness

May sweeps might be over, but that didn't stop me from some hardcore vegetating on the couch last night:

1) Samir Goes Down – I doomed Samir Patel with my “MJ in 1991” comment yesterday. He wilted like a flower suffering from eremacausis and didn't even make it to the prime time final of the National Spelling Bee. Patel is already looking toward a recrudesce next year after he takes some time off to play in the White Sox farm system. The winner Katharine Close, however, was a machine last night. While every other contestant had to stoop to the standard stalling techniques of repeating the same questions about the definition and country of origin over and over again at one point or another, she just proceeded to pound out every word without a hint of hesitation. It was like those days in the late-1980s when you would pay fifty bucks to watch a Mike Tyson fight on pay-per-view and then he would pummel his opponent in 45 seconds. She knocked those words back to Bolivia.

2) WTF Sox Bullpen?! – I'm extremely disappointed in the White Sox on this 3-game losing streak since they (a) couldn't take advantage of the Tigers finally having to play someone other than the Royals (much less the Yankees) and (b) completely let the Indians back into the AL Central race as opposed to killing them off. What's even more worrisome is the status of our bullpen, which is a glaring weakness that has been covered up so far this season by the hot Sox offense. I'd seriously rather have the Cubs bullpen out there over what we have on the South Side for the stretch run. I'm hoping Kenny Williams is burning up the phone lines to address this situation ASAP.

3) Dirk Rolls Over the Suns – How spectacular has Dirk Nowitzki been for the Mavs during the playoffs? Not only is he a 7-footer that can drop 50 points in a game both inside and outside of the arc, but his Governor of Cal-i-for-ni-a postgame interviews have been classic. You know he's stepped up to another level when every tall white European draft prospect with a halfway decent jumpshot from now until the end of time will be described as possibly becoming the “next Dirk Nowitzki”. Shaq vs. Dirk in the NBA Finals is exactly the matchup that I long to see.

4) They Wouldn't Do This to Catherine Zeta-Jones – Why does the T-Mobile commercial centering around an arena full of fans (presumably all Pistons backers) cheering and waiting for Ben Wallace to come out during his pregame introduction show the Miami Heat home floor at the beginning? And why does Vince Carter have a bulimic dog? These are the things in life that really bother me.

Happy Friday and enjoy your weekend!

A Tale of Two Managers

Let's see if you can match up the following actual quotes from this past Sunday with the appropriate Chicago baseball manager:

1) Manager A: "We have to get better as a team… It's not about individuals. We have to get better with the little things."

2) Manager B: "I'm proud of how the team battled back, especially the way things have been going… We don't quit."

Interestingly, Manager A's remarks came after his team won 7-5 and continues to roll on with the second-best record in all of baseball. In contrast, Manager B's quotes were in the wake of his team losing its sixth game in a row by giving up a franchise record 8 home runs in a single game and their third baseman letting a routine pop-up bounce off of his head that allowed a Braves player onto base (who would subsequently score Atlanta's winning run). Is there any wonder why Ozzie Guillen (Manager A) is the most beloved coach in Chicago history this side of Mike Ditka while Dusty Baker (Manager B) is questioning whether he's going to still have a job by the All-Star break?

I'll be the first to admit that the Cubs' problems run a whole lot deeper than Dusty Baker. There are the injury problems, the naive belief over the offseason by Jim Hendry that there wouldn't be injury problems, and the lack of financial commitment by the Tribune Company to spend the money that is commiserate with a franchise that draws over 40,000 fans a game. However, Dusty's attitude that he and his team are merely the victims of bad luck doesn't address why he doesn't bench a veteran such as Neifi Perez when he drops a cut-off throw and airmails a ball over the catcher's head… on the same fucking play! I wouldn't expect Dusty to yell and scream when it's not in his nature to do so, but I do expect him to hold his players accountable rather than constantly giving them free passes.

In contrast again, when the White Sox looked complacent for a moment and lost only two games in a row, Ozzie was right there to wake them up with a profanity-laced tirade. Guess what happened afterwards: the Sox have come back and bashed in runs for two straight wins. Even after that success, Ozzie still believes that the team needs to have more practices regarding fundamentals when they get back home.

Ozzie has instilled the attitude that nothing is taken for granted on the South Side. His team knows that they need to go balls-out everyday or else they're going to be sitting on the bench. Dusty, however, still thinks this is just an unfortunate stretch for the Cubs. The problem is that this unfortunate stretch has lasted over 98 years, so Cubs fans have the right to be losing their collective patience.

Feeling Punchy Today?

A few thoughts on the world of sports from the past few days:

1) Punchless Cubs – I'll spare everyone an excessively long diatribe on Michael Barrett's cheap shot on A.J. Pierzynski. However, I will point out that I enjoy the North Side spin that this will somehow fire up the Cubs, as if having their starting catcher and best hitter since Derrek Lee's injury getting slammed with a suspension that could run a week or more is going to do a lot to "fire up" an already putrid offense. Just what the Cubs needed – Henry Blanco and his .051 batting average while the Cubs play Atlanta this weekend and then 16 straight NL Central games after that! Plus, regardless of team allegiances, the sight of Neifi Perez as a cleanup hitter should be mortifying to any baseball fan. Look, I know A.J. is an asshole, but Cubs fans need to take a step back and look at how Barrett's groundless punch has the potential to sink that lineup into an even greater abyss at the worst possible time.

2) Sox and Hound – The thing I love about this White Sox team is that I expect them to make a comeback every time that they fall behind. Regardless of how large of a deficit, they always keep applying pressure to the opposition. Even after Frank Thomas returned to the Cell with revenge on his mind with two homers (for a guy hitting under .200) that would have sucked the life out of a lesser team, the Sox pressed back and won on a suicide squeeze play executed perfectly by Pablo Ozuna in the 10th inning. Great teams make those types of great plays.

3) Great NBA Playoffs, But No More Bron-Bron – I haven't enjoyed watching the NBA Playoffs this much since the Jordan Era. The Mavericks pulling it out in overtime over the Spurs in game 7 last night was a fitting end to a classic series. This sets up a Mavs/Suns Western Conference Finals matchup, where the over/under on total points per game is going to be 300. However, I was disappointed in LeBron James and the Cavs failing to get a defensive rebound for the last minute of Game 6 against the Pistons on Friday night. That guaranteed that Cleveland's Curse of MJ Making Craig Ehlo His Bitch would continue for another year – everyone who watched that meltdown on Friday instantly foresaw the Pistons' throttling of the Cavs in Sunday's Game 7. I have no personal love for the Cavaliers, but as a basketball fan I relished the prospect of LeBron facing up Dwyane Wade and Shaq in a best-of-7 series. I'll just have to take comfort in the fact that we're not going to see a snore-inducing repeat of a Pistons/Spurs NBA Finals. Regardless, this postseason proves that the NBA is back this year.

The Beauty of Being a Sox Fan This Weekend

Since the days of the old Windy City Classic exhibitions where the White Sox and Cubs (or at least a bunch of their minor leaguers a la Michael Jordan playing for the Sox at Wrigley back in 1994) would play each other for charity to the advent of interleague play, there was always one thing in common with all of those games: Sox fans cared a whole lot more about winning those matches than Cubs fans.

I don't need to go into too much detail about the well-worn stories of the historic inferiority complex of Sox fans compared to our cuddly neighbors to the north with their gem of a ballpark and superstation-fueled national fanbase. I'll sum up those dark ages in this fashion: few things would get my blood-boiling more than traveling out-of-town, mentioning to someone that I was from Chicago, and then having that person ask about what I thought of the "Cubbies," to which I would retort something rhyming with that the team could go chuck themselves. It was the ignorance of general public believing that everyone from Chicago loved the Cubs that was more maddening to me than anything else. Since the Sox were more often than not out of the pennant race by June, beating the Cubs was the one thing that would matter for the entire year.

However, the Chicago Tribune's John Kass wrote a poignant column today which perfectly sums up how the baseball universe has turned since last October. We won the World Series, which pretty much washed away the outright bitterness that I always applied to these crosstown games. What matters more than beating the Cubs is staying ahead of Detroit (who is inexplicably crushing everyone this year) and Cleveland while making another run in October – and I can say that without a hint of B.S. Winning a World Series and having an even more talented team on paper the next season changes your perspective on things.

Meanwhile, what do Cubs fans have to look forward to? Watching the savior Kerry Wood get rocked for a homerun per inning in each of his outings? Hoping Derrek Lee comes back before they fall behind the Pirates in the NL Central standings? Praying that Mark Prior still has at least one or two functioning limbs? For the first time that I can recall, this crosstown weekend actually means more to Cubs fans than Sox fans. Sure, I still want the Sox to pummel the Cubs everytime in the same manner that I'd like to see the Bears beat the Packers or the Illini to oust Michigan, but the season doesn't hinge on this weekend anymore. For me, that's a beautiful thing.

A Tradition Unlike Any Other: Frank the Tank’s Random Weekend Thoughts

Random sports thoughts from the weekend:

1) Lefty Again – I was perplexed for a moment when I thought I saw Hootie Johnson, Jim Nantz, and Tiger Woods present the Green Jacket to Bartolo Colon in the Butler Cabin, but then I realized it was just Phil Mickelson. Seriously though, it was amazing to see Mickelson, who two years ago was golf's version of the Chicago Cubs, turn in such a dominating performance yesterday with a leaderboard filled with Tiger, Vijay Singh, Fred Couples, Retief Goosen, and Jose Maria Olazabel (one of the most underrated athletes in any sport) right behind him. The two best things about the Masters: (1) only 4 commercial breaks per hour with a limit of 2 commercials during each break and (2) when CBS jumps to "bonus coverage" of another hole, there isn't a shot of a coach taking a timeout to immediately go into another commercial break. As a result, I watched about 12 hours of golf this past weekend and the answer to your question is yes, I have no life.

2) Badgers and the Frozen Four – After watching Wisconsin beat Boston College in the Frozen Four to win the national championship in front of a virtual home crowd in Milwaukee, I believe that it's time for Illinois to make the leap to NCAA Division I hockey. One of these days, I'll write a long-winded and detailed rant on "How Bill Wirtz Fucked Up with Frank the Tank" explaining why I'm not an NHL fan and how the Blackhawks are dead to me, but when I was in college, going to Illini club hockey games was one of one of my favorite things to do on campus. Even though Illinois just had a club-level team, all of the games were packed with fans. Considering how popular the hockey teams are at the other Big Ten schools that have Division I programs, that hockey is typically the only sport other than football and men's basketball that consistently turns a profit for athletic departments, and the Assembly Hall can be turned into a rink for games, this seems to be a no-brainer for Illinois (although it seems that the rest of college hockey is petrified of the Big Ten forming its own hockey conference).

3) WTF, Bulls?! – The Bulls suffocated the Sixers last week in Philadelphia and the Sixers were reeling from losing another game on Friday night, so it would seem that the Bulls were destined to take a 2-game lead over Philly for the last Eastern Conference playoff spot on Saturday night in the rubber match in the comforts of the United Center, right? Well, I'll need to check the box score again to confirm this, but I believe that Allen Iverson made 5,000 straight jumpers along with 4,000 free throws in the third quarter while the Bulls shot 1-out-of-10,000,000. Believe me, if you think those numbers are bad, it looked a lot worse watching it live. So, there's now a tie for the last playoff spot with the Bulls needing to play the super-hot Nets on Tuesday. Just awful.

4) How Long is the Grace Period for the White Sox? – The Sox dropped 2 out of 3 to the Royals, which up until last week, when Kansas City voters passed a tax referendum to renovate Kauffman Stadium, was Candidate #1 of MLB Teams That Need to Move to Las Vegas. Supposedly, we're only one week into a five-year moratorium on complaining about a team after they've won a championship. Is everyone sure it isn't supposed to be a five-week moratorium instead?

5) Cubs – Cards vs. Yankees – Red Sox – Here's what I believe is the primary difference between Cubs – Cardinals rivalry and the Yankees – Red Sox rivalry (besides the "small" factor of actually winning the World Series recently): While the Cards could be equated with the Yankees in terms of success compared to their respective rivals, I've never met a Chicagoan that actually would ever willingly move to St. Louis (I'm not talking about heading to Wash U for college for 4 years – I mean permanent residence). I know I wouldn't. In contrast, the bemoaning of the constant failures of the Red Sox (up until 2004, of course) was an extension of the overall inferiority complex that Bostonians feel toward New York City. So, what's worse? Is it the Chicagoan that looks down upon St. Louis as an inferior city yet the Cubs maddeningly don't have anywhere near the history of success of their rube rivals (in football terms, subsitute "St. Louis" with "Green Bay" here)? Or is it the Bostonian that consistently feels inferior on both fronts? I'll leave you with that thought on your Monday morning.

Hello Goodbye: Opening Day and One Shining Moment

The first Monday in April is always the most bittersweet day on the sports calendar for me.  On the one hand, there's the NCAA National Championship Game, which means that after tonight we'll have to mothball college basketball all the way until November.  Since Illinois (and the rest of the Big Ten, for that matter) failed to get to the second weekend of the NCAA Tournament, this period off is going to seem extra-long.  It also doesn't help that after the ousting of George Mason, this NCAA Final has almost no buzz going for it.  Anyway, I always harken back to the oldest adage in sports that defense wins championships.  In this case, the formerly high-flying UCLA has morphed into a bruising Big Ten/Big East-type team with suffocating defense.  Florida has the athletic advantage, but I believe that the Bruins' D will slow the game down similar to their regional final game against the super-athletic Memphis team.  It will be an close and ugly victory for UCLA.  Honestly, I'm just waiting for the "One Shining Moment" montage, which is the ultimate capper to any sports season (although I didn't see last year's rendition since I was being talked off the ledge after having my heart crushed in the Illini loss).

On the other hand, it's Opening Day in baseball and the White Sox have begun their World Series title defense.  I didn't stay up until 2 am to watch the end of last night's Sox opener, but it's great to see Jim Thome's hot bat in spring training carry over into the regular season.  This is probably the most excited I've ever been for the start of baseball season.  For my entire lifetime as well as the lifetimes of several generations of Chicagoans, the White Sox have come out of every offseason with tons of questions marks following a disappointing season.  However, the Sox erased all of those years of misery with their stunning World Series run last season and an offseason that strengthened the team even more.  I don't take much pleasure in how the Sox have become the dominant favorite to win the World Series again this year (I want to avoid the Sports Illustrated jinx at all costs), but it's a whole lot better than going through the motions of a 162-game season without anything on the line.

Picking only one of baseball, basketball, or football as my favorite sport is pretty much impossible – that would be like asking a father to pick one of his three kids as his favorite.  Every one of those sports has aspects that I love (my wife notes that I always have a sport to watch with deep interest, so my complaints about one of the seasons ending falls on deaf ears).  Suffice to say, saying goodbye to basketball (I'm not counting the Bulls here since even if they make the NBA playoffs, they're practically guaranteed to be swept by the Pistons – I won't have much more interest in the NBA after that occurs) while saying hello to baseball makes this a day of mixed emotions.

2006 American League Preview

With all of the craziness in the NCAA Tournament, let's not forget that the baseball season is starting on Sunday with no less than our Chicago White Sox unveiling their World Championship banner. Minnesota Red Sox has provided a spectacular in-depth look at all of the baseball teams at his Siberian Baseball site, so I highly recommend checking that out. Here are my quick predictions for the American League this season (with the National League and playoff predictions coming up within the next few days):

AL EAST

1) New York Yankees – With a true leadoff man back in the fray with the Yanks again in Johnny Damon, this team is going to slug its way to the top of the division again. The lack of improvement in the starting rotation is going to kill them again in the playoffs, though.

2) Toronto Blue Jays – The crazy Canucks were tipsy in giving B.J. Ryan such an exorbinant contract, but A.J. Burnett is going to thrive under Roy Halladay (Burnett made a wise choice in picking a place where he wouldn't be the #1 starter). This team is going to leapfrog the Red Sox by virtue of having the best pitching staff in the division.

3) Boston Red Sox – The "Josh Beckett/Curt Schilling DL Watch" is a spinoff of the Chicago original of the "Kerry Wood/Mark Prior DL Watch." If Beckett and Schilling were guaranteed to be healthy all season, I would pick the Bosox to win this division. I'm not betting on that happening, though. Plus, the loss of Johnny Damon is going to hurt this offense more than Red Sox fans care to admit.

4) Tampa Bay Devil Rays – Honestly, the collection of young talent on this team reminds me of the Indians from last year. I would not be shocked if this team makes a quantum leap over the Red Sox and Blue Jays this season. Seriously – anyone that runs a fantasy baseball team knows that the Rays have some good talent on that roster.

5) Baltimore Orioles – This team has picked up both Corey Patterson and Latroy Hawkins. I foresee supreme suckage.

AL CENTRAL

1) Chicago White Sox – When the world champs have gotten deeper in both hitting and pitching, that spells a repeat. I've already gone in depth on how much I loved the offseason moves by the Sox. This is going to be another fun year on the South Side. The only area that concerns me is closer – I still don't have faith that Bobby Jenks is going to be as consistent as we need him to be.

2) Cleveland Indians – This team is a little bit weaker without Kevin Millwood, but that will be balanced by the growth of their phenomenal young players by the end of the year. This is my bet for the Wild Card team.

3) Detroit Tigers – They haven't improved at all, it's just that…

4) Minnesota Twins – … this is the year that the Twins fall off the table. Notwithstanding Johan Santana, who is the best pitcher in baseball right now, this team regressed substantially last year and they haven't made any improvements.

5) Kansas City Royals – Transaction wire yesterday: “The Kansas City Royals have been optioned to the Pacific Coast League. The Portland Beavers have been called up as replacements.”

AL WEST

1) The Los Angeles Angels of the Town Up the Road from Laguna Beach and Other O.C. Cities Cooler Than Anaheim – Still an incredibly balanced team. The only way the Angels don't win this division is if Bartolo Colon gets too hungry one day and eats Vladimir Guerrero and Mike Scoscia suspends Colon indefinitely for not leaving any scraps. Anyway, the Angels are really good.

2) Oakland A's – Moneyball continues to allow this team to compete, but the Angels have surged clearly ahead of Oaktown and the Wild Card is getting out of reach with the AL East teams and the rise of the Indians. I'm still a big Barry Zito fan, though.

3) Seattle Mariners – The pitcher everyone compares phenom Felix Hernandez to is Dwight Gooden, as if that was a good thing. Funny, a pitcher that became coked up to the point where the zenith of his career was at age 19 doesn't conjure up a positive image. Let's hope he doesn't go down this road. Ichiro continues to kick ass, but the rest of the lineup is pretty lackluster.

4) Texas Rangers – W's old team will once again lead the league (a) in batters that hit 30 homeruns with only 60 RBI and a OBA under .300 and (b) pitchers that strikeout more cameramen than hitters. This is a higher-rent older version of the Devil Rays.

Minnie Minoso is in the Frank the Tank Hall of Fame

The first autograph I ever received from anyone was from Minnie Minoso, a gracious ambassador for the White Sox and baseball in general.  A lot of Chicago baseball fans were hoping that he would get a call yesterday from a special committee of Negro League and pre-Negro League historians informing him that he would be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame.  Unfortunately, it didn’t happen for Minnie Minoso.

We can debate all day whether he deserved to be enshrined in Cooperstown (his Major League stats don’t seem extraordinary until you realize that he was deprived of his prime years at the top level of the game because of racial segregation).  One thing is clear, though – Minnie Minoso has handled himself with grace and class for the past seven decades with nary a word, complaint, or campaign about the Hall of Fame.  He put it best in a statement yesterday: “I know that baseball fans have me in their own Hall of Fame – the one in their hearts… that matters more to me than any official recognition. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be, and I am truly honored to be considered. I’ve given my life to baseball, and the game has given me so much. That’s what matters the most to me.”

A certain broadcaster/former third baseman from the North Side of Chicago should take note.

Big Hurt Feelings

During my teenage years, my room was plastered with posters and memorabilia of mainly two different Chicago athletes: Michael Jordan and Frank Thomas.  During much of the 1990s, it wasn’t that far-fetched to believe that Thomas and his contemporary Ken Griffey Jr. would redefine baseball for a generation in the same way that Jordan redefined basketball.

Indeed, Frank Thomas put up a ridiculous array of across-the-board offensive numbers at the plate for the first decade of his career with a rare combination of power and patience at the plate that could only be compared to Ted Williams.  In the 105-year history of the Chicago White Sox, Thomas holds the club career records for home runs, RBI, runs scored, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, walks, doubles, and total bases (along with the highest career batting average of any Sox player who played after 1950).

Even if he didn’t end up redefining baseball, judging by his statistics and physical dominance at the plate during the 1990s, Frank Thomas is the best player in White Sox history.  No other player in the American League in 2005 had been with the same team longer than him.  Yet, Sox fans seem to be more relieved than in angst over Thomas’ recent signing with the Oakland A’s.  It was as if what felt like a drawn-out divorce finally came to its conclusion.

From a team blueprint standpoint, not re-signing Thomas was the correct decision.  He had been injury-prone for the past several seasons and it would have been difficult for Kenny Williams to depend on the designated hitter coming back, particularly when the Sox clearly needed take steps to improve their lineup.  Jim Thome is the better risk in terms of being able to come back from a serious injury.

I don’t feel good, however, about two things.  First, as delirious as I’ve been about the White Sox world championship, it was tough to not see Frank Thomas as an integral part of that team.  Imagine if the ’85 Bears had gone through their romp to the championship but Walter Payton was injured on the sidelines the whole season (of course, the next worst thing actually did happen when the Fridge got a rushing touchdown in Super Bowl XX while Payton didn’t).  This is essentially what happened with Frank Thomas and the Sox last season.  It would have been nice to see if Thomas could be a major contributor to the White Sox bid to repeat in 2006.

Second, Jerry Reinsdorf has parted ways with yet another star athlete on negative terms.  Thomas said yesterday that he was most hurt by the fact that Reinsdorf never called him once in the offseason to let him know the direction the Sox were heading.  The City of Chicago could create a veritable hall of fame stocked with players that have had messy breakups with the Bulls and White Sox during the Reinsdorf era: Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Horace Grant, Carlton Fisk, Jack McDowell, Robin Ventura, and Ozzie Guillen to name a few.  The only saving grace is that most of those guys have ended up mending their relationships with Reinsdorf over time (and in the cases of Pippen and Guillen, they actually returned to their teams as a player and a manager respectively).  I just wish Reinsdorf could find a better way not to have an acrimonious relationship with almost every talented player he’s ever had on his two teams.

As for the Big Hurt, there might be no place in baseball that he’ll be more appreciated than in Oakland.  Frank Thomas is the perfect portrait of the “Moneyball” player that A’s GM Billy Beane lusts for – a guy with a high on-base percentage that draws a lot of walks and hits for a lot of power.  Beane is the one person in the majors that truly doesn’t care whatsoever that Thomas has no speed and can’t play defense.  The A’s GM has finally been able to sign a player who arguably fits his Moneyball profile better than anyone in the history of baseball, much less just the players that are active today.  Beane has got to be ecstatic to have Frank Thomas, so at the very least the slugger will get some love from his new organization.

Hopefully, Frank Thomas will be able to return to Chicago within the next five to ten years and be able to look back positively on the greatest career in White Sox history.  On a personal level, he was my favorite baseball player for most of my life and it will be disheartening to see him in another uniform.  Mentally, I’ve blocked out the fact that Michael Jordan ever played for a team other than the Bulls (from my perspective, the NBA didn’t exist from 2001 to 2003).  I’m going to have to do the same for Frank Thomas – he’ll always be a member of the White Sox to me.

Hot Stove League Review #1 – White Sox

With pitchers and catchers reporting in just a little over a month from now and the White Sox and Cubs fan conventions taking place over the next couple of weeks, I’ll be posting a three-part series on the offseason moves of each of the Chicago teams and the rest of Major League Baseball. First up are the White Sox.

It’s amazing – my baseball team has not only won the World Series, but it is actually making aggressive yet shrewd moves to try to win another one. I’ve got to give Sox Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf credit. Unlike his seeming eagerness to see Michael Jordan to walk away so that he and Jerry Krause could reconstruct the Bulls (we’re only now recuperating from that dark experiment), it looks like he’s stepping up the commitment of the White Sox organization to build upon the team’s success. At the same time, Kenny Williams has been doing a phenomenal job this offseason – he’s ripping off everyone in sight. Here’s my review of the major moves by the Sox:

Sox Wrigley Sign

1) Trading for Jim Thome – It was tough to see a great character guy (and noted Bears nut) in Aaron Rowand be traded away, but the Sox needed to get another bopper in its lineup. Despite Jim Thome’s injuries last season, he has been one of the top 10 hitters in baseball over the past decade. If the Sox hadn’t made this trade, we would be seeing Paul Konerko being walked every other at-bat a la Barry Bonds circa 2003. Instead, Konerko is going to see even better pitches to smack in the 2006 season. If Thome comes anywhere close to his 2004 production, the Sox offense might be talked about as much next October as the team’s pitching staff.

2) Re-signing Paul Konerko – A lesser Paulie would have told the Sox, “F–k you – pay me.” Instead, our Paulie turned down a bigger contract from the Angels in order to stay with the Sox, which just goes to show you how he’s a rarity among professional athletes today. Konerko’s got the physical skills and the leadership skills (not to mention the numb-chuck skills) to build a franchise around for a long time. Keeping this guy was the most important move the White Sox could have possibly made this offseason.

3) Trading for Rob Mackowiak – How Kenny Williams jacked the Pirates on this trade I’ll never know. Not only did he get rid of Damaso Marte, the biggest piece of deadweight on the roster, but the Sox also received in exchange arguably the best bench player in baseball. Mackowiak has a solid bat and can play all of the infield and outfield positions. More importantly, his versatility allows the Sox to carry a 13th pitcher on the roster instead of another position player, which means the team’s dominant pitching depth will go even deeper.

4) Trading for Javier Vasquez – Speaking of pitching depth, Kenny Williams pulled off another no-brainer with the El Duque-for-Vasquez trade. El Duque will live on forever on 2005 Sox DVD retrospectives with the miracle shutdown of the Red Sox after entering the game with the bases loaded in Game 5 of the ALDS. However, he was hardly playing at all in the second half of 2005. To receive Vasquez, a 200 innings per year guy in return for a pitcher with an unknown birth date that’s breaking down before our eyes could very well be Kenny Williams’ coup de grace. Sure, Vasquez struggled with the Yankees and Diamondbacks, but both of those clubs were trying to make him into a #1 or #2 starter. On the White Sox, he’s going to be the fourth or fifth starter! Baseball’s best rotation just got even better.

5) Re-signing Jon Garland – Locking up Garland beyond 2006 has me dreaming of a rotation primed for a multiple-season run along the lines of the Braves of the 1990s. I just hope his 2005 season wasn’t a flash in the pan and that he’s truly living up the potential everyone was talking about when he was traded over as a young prospect from the Cubs back in 1998.

Something tells me Kenny Williams isn’t finished yet. The addition of Vasquez gives the Sox six viable starting pitchers. The young Brandon McCarthy was lights out in the number five slot after the 2005 All Star break. If this were fantasy baseball, the Sox would keep McCarthy as a long reliever in the bullpen. However, I doubt they are going to essentially demote such a stud young kid after having so much success as a starter last year. Look for Williams to trade Jose Contreras (the only starting pitcher who isn’t signed past next season) for another big bat in the lineup.

Regardless of what the Sox do from now until pitchers and catchers report, they have to receive mad props for not resting on their laurels and continuing to make hungry and aggressive moves. They’re finishing off the types of deals that a team that hasn’t won anything (like the Cubs) ought to be making.

In the wake of the Corey Patterson trade, stay tuned for my Cubs offseason analysis…